1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. Maybe if you had them a lot as a kid.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. Not good ones.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. I bet it doesn't come close to the realization that you don't have money to pay your bill.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. Someone has never been really hungry.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. Only the ones who had access to calculators.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. Depends on what you're reading.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. It makes me feel artistic.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. You've never called the fire department and asked?
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. I have.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana. Only if you're insecure enough to be self-conscious about inserting a big cigar-shaped object in your mouth.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. It smells mostly like cat, if a little stronger.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. It makes me feel like a little child. Starting a fire with two sticks though. . .
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. If that was true me and my cousin wouldn't have lost twenty-odd balls and frisbees in overgrown gardens.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. Maybe if you don't know them.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. I remember the day a crazy person ran into my school on a motorcycle. No dogs though.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. The most embarrassing things I did include breaking a tree, spilling tampons all over the classroom and crying because my teacher didn't praise me for being done with a math test before everyone else.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity. You've never seen a really small monkey. Or a really big one.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches. Never happened to me.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. I did a quick survey among three blokes of various ages and none of them had ever heard of this.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong! Your aestethics are not universal truths.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. Not if you do it mid-cartwheel.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. Only if you think about sex. But then what doesn't make you excited when thinking about sex.
24) You never ever run out of salt. I have.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think. I have seen old ladies eat and I have seen old ladies not eat until they were hospitalized, so no.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. If he does it with one arm severed while running from an explosion, sure.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. Someone's never been the victim of a mock execution.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. I do.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. What constant warning?
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. Solution: Take your shoes off sometimes to build up some skin on your feet. Anyway, plugs that carry 220 volts of electricity are more painful no matter how you touch them.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard I usually slam them too soft.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with. Okay, that may be true, but aren't there a hundred better ways to tell if you're becoming your parent/s? Having kids for a start.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. Not orphans.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry. Compared to what, carrying loads of firewood? Letting bricks lie?
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. I just filled a plate with hand-selected chips to prove this wrong.
The moral is that nothing is universally true. Even that statement itself has its exceptions.
