Unnecessary Instructions

[Jerious1154]

There's a routine by Brian Regan about this... funny stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8kThoZpF_U
I have verified that pop-tarts actually have these instructions on them.

 

[Georgeman]

On a chocolate with biscuits saying: It might contain biscuits. Similar silliness on chocolates that contain almonds, hazelnuts, etc.

 

[GamerPhate]

I like the instructions on shampoo, lather, rinse and repeat if necessary. If you don't know how to use shampoo, people will likely be treating you different because of that, rather than the dirtiness of your hair.

 

[Berethond]

"Don't insert into penis." Screwdriver set.

Owwwwwwwwwww.

......I would add more to this reply, but seriously, OOOWWWWWWWW.

T____T It makes me SO sad that they probably added that warning onto the screwdriver set because someone did. Sweetbuhjeebus, if I had a penis I would not do such terribly, terribly things to it. I would love it and cherish it all my days, I would.

Yeah, that would be terrible.

Your post made me laugh, by the way.

 

[A Pious Cultist]

On a box of Christmas lights, "For indoor or outdoor use only." So i guess I can't use them in my pocket dimension?

If you use them in a doorway they go nuclear.

@SevenStarSonata: It would be sad if that picture wasn't so obviously faked (the angles of the text are completely different).

Rascarin: Lucozade was originally marketed as a flu/cold recovery drink with a slogan about replacing lost fluids, obviously some of the ingredients make it unsuitable for replacing fluids lost during diahorrea. It's a little gross but completely sensible advice.

 

[G1eet]

There's a routine by Brian Regan about this... funny stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8kThoZpF_U
I have verified that pop-tarts actually have these instructions on them.

I love how that bit is hilarious numerous times after I've already heard it. I've seen him in NYC and at Ithaca College, and I believe he did it at both.

And Cup of Dirt always has me rolling on the floor.

 

[AkJay]

Pop Tart Package:
1. Remove Pastry from pouch.
2. Put in Toaster
3. Eat.

Eat...the toaster? If you're going to give obvious instruction, make sure they are complete :/

I am already on probation, don't tempt me to rage out all the way to banishment.

 

[USSR]

There's a sign made specifically for pointing out the edges in the same sign? My mind is completely and utterly blown.

Theres this thing called Photoshop...

Ah, yes. And I guess the falling cow sign is false as well?

<spoiler=Falling cow sign> [http://photobucket.com/images/falling%20cow]

<spoiler=Link to story>http://minivans.about.com/b/2007/11/07/falling-cow-strikes-minivan.htm

 

[joe182]

There's a sign made specifically for pointing out the edges in the same sign? My mind is completely and utterly blown.

Theres this thing called Photoshop...

Ah, yes. And I guess the falling cow sign is false as well?

<spoiler=Falling cow sign> [http://photobucket.com/images/falling%20cow]

<spoiler=Link to story>http://minivans.about.com/b/2007/11/07/falling-cow-strikes-minivan.htm

No.. I didn't say that?
But the one I did comment on was pretty obviously photoshopped.

 

[Strategia]

"Use the WASD keys to move around."

 

[Agrosmurf]

Well the most pointless set instructions in my opinion is the Unites States Constitution. One might say that the Constitution is a set of guidlines, but it's always read and interpreted so closely. In my opinion as our nation grows and science, warfare, politics and global politics change so does our constitution. I think we should rip up and make a new constitution every hundred years or so.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

And Bug Spray cans usually say "do not drink" or some variation thereof. Yeah, because whenever I see a can of Bug Spray, I feel really thirsty.

that sign usually says in tiny letters at the bottm
"also the bridge is out ahead"

 

[theklng]

Every once in awhile I see instructions or warning labels that seem out of place. Well, today I noticed a very strange one. As I was about to open a KitKat bar to enjoy its delicious milk chocolate wafers, I noticed some words on the flap of the wrapper that read...
TO OPEN:
Lift Flap and Tear at End

I couldn't help to laugh at it for several minutes, knowing that somewhere a person either needs this instructions, and that several people in marketing believed that people needed it this much.

So, what are some of the bizarre instructions and warning labels that you have come across in your daily life?

p.s. Last similar thread was from August of last year.

you do know that the only reason they make warning labels like that is because of the holes in the legal system?

 

[SevenStarSonata]

Yeah, that would be terrible.

Your post made me laugh, by the way.

Glad to make you laugh.

 

[Metric Monkey]

Spoiler: Don't insert into penis.

I saw a guy do that once.... it 'effed up my childhood in a instant ;_;

SICK why would anybody ever do that? And why were you there to see that?

Urr i'm young and stupid ok ? ( 13 if youre asking )

But the long version is: in my community they were one day exchanging links in the AJAX chat... and I dont know why but if see a link I automaticlly click on it and if I dont I obsess about it for a while until I finally cave and google it.

So yeah what else is there to say ?

That's just...wow.
But OT:

Spoiler: Remember this. It is important. And it's not going to fck up your childhood.

 

[Pinstar]

In the comi-con info pack etiquette section "Please change your clothes and shower regularly"...no im not joking.

That is standard human behavior but the con I went to years ago (not comicon) the MC during the opening speech specifically pointed out the 1-2-6 rule of con health. At least 1 shower, two meals and 6 hours of sleep a day.

And trust me, there are some at that con who ignored rule number 1 during that speech.

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

I think i'll just jump in with the classic Peanuts, may contain nuts. I should damn well hope so

 

[Pandalisk]

When the grenade pin is pulled throw it, and the instructions on a rocker launcher was put at enemy and shoot.

 

[MiserableOldGit]

I like the little helpful gaming tips you get on loading screens, dispensing pearls of wisdom like "Use stimpaks when your health is low".