Useless Superpowers - Whats yours?

[mooncalf]

Tyrokinesis, the ability to spontaneously pop car tires.

 

[Brightzide]

my right foot is always wet, leaving a big soggy print wherever I have stepped, making me easy to track down...unless I am partnered with Ross Noble and his sponge foot and he follows me everywhere I go, then it would be as if nothing happened...But I guess I made a friend out of a comedian, so thats nice

 

[WilchBorisRyan]

I have the super ability to make my penis shrink whenever I'm anxious or cold. It's THUPER YOUTHFUL!!!

 

[ROBOcity123]

I walk faster than average people.

 

[Neino Ranatos]

I have laser vision...but it goes the wrong way.

 

[inFAMOUSCowZ]

i have xray vision but only on glass

 

[Kwatsu]

The ability to walk through wallpaper.

 

[Eliam_Dar]

The ability of use mind control, but only over bunnies.

 

[Durgiun]

The ability to fart out Beethoven's entire 5th! IN ONE GO!

 

[teutonicman]

Control who smells my farts.

 

[Jaranja]

I'm a very good listener

That's not useless.

My useless superpower is that, when I bleed, I bleed acid but I'm not immune to it's effects.

 

[vallorn]

My ability is to be able to tell when people are being sarcastic! And I'm The Shoveler too.

Mystery Men reference? if so then you just won an internet!

Spoiler: heres your prize!

my power is to throw spoons with unerring accuracy.

 

[Acryllos]

Can't think of any clever ones, but I remember Yahtzee's "the ability to turn invisible when playing a trombone"

 

[nelsonr100]

The ability to miss one out of my 3 meals a day

A psychic link to all Starfish but I only know how to ask them their name

 

[lokun489]

i can take an extra shot of painkillers before they work at the dentist

 

[Beyond D espair]

The ability to win any choreographed fight.

 

[MyFooThurTS]

The ability to create thoughts using only my mind

The ability to sleep with only two eyes closed

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

I would have the ability to instill apathy in everyone around me, but I can never be bothered...

 

[LightspeedJack]

I can spontaneously combust but only when on fire.

 

[theguyinthecorner]

The ability to go up stairs without walking so long as they're escalators