Useless Superpowers - Whats yours?

[OneOfTheMichael's]

The ability to understand dr. Phil and politics.
gasp*

 

[MarcusD357]

The ability to communicate with inanimate objects!

Me: Hey, rock! Did you see where that guy just went?
Rock: -silence due to the lack of mouth and vocal chords-

 

[Amphoteric]

I have the ability to scroll down a page without using the mouse wheel.

and

The ability to fall up stairs.

 

[jowo96]

I can run 1000 miles per hour.

Now this may sound like a really good super power but the stopping distance is considerable and my reactions are also normal which means I run into stuff. ALOT And it hurts Alot.

 

[Sonearage]

I have the ability to sleep for twelve hours whilst reading a book! Sort of...

 

[Stryphoon]

Mind control of other people, but it is limited to making them do one action. Uncontrolably shoot me in the face. Or if they do not have a gun they motion with their hand.

 

[Amphoteric]

I can run 1000 miles per hour.

Now this may sound like a really good super power but the stopping distance is considerable and my reactions are also normal which means I run into stuff. ALOT

you would also die from friction burns.

 

[NoseDigger]

To put together Ikea stuff without the instructions.

 

[JayOwnAss]

I can make dolphins laugh, by farting under water

 

[TheKwertyeweyoppe]

the ability to predict my death ONLY if i have digested my entire brain

to be invisible when no-one is looking at me

to telekineticaly move my own muscles

 

[R3dF41c0n]

The ability to instantly know what song people are listening to on their ipod. Completely useless, but I could mock people on my college campus.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Mine would be the ability to Eat lead, but only it can only be a base, in a paint product.

Or the ability to travel through time at the speed of regular time.

Escapists, What are your Useless Superpower?

The ability to summon a chair at will. Summoning this chair takes the same amount of time as it would take to physically make a chair at a factory. I would slowly fill the world with chairs. Mwuahahahaha crushed by a billion chairs.

I can run 1000 miles per hour.

Now this may sound like a really good super power but the stopping distance is considerable and my reactions are also normal which means I run into stuff. ALOT And it hurts Alot.

It would be funnier if you could ONLY run at 1000 miles an hour. Its that or nothing.

 

[Buleet]

Knowing the ENTIRE script from the first 2 chapters from halflife 2.

And having the power to be a genuis,
but around stupid people.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I am completely immune to all Earthly diseases however, I am extremely vulnerable to all forms of radiation.

 

[DSK-]

The ability to use telekinesis on feathers.

 

[Hexador]

The ability to make the world blurry...



by taking my glasses off.

 

[estherblueburger]

The ability to find the shortest way to places I've never been by pure guesswork.

Not sure if its useless but it only happens when I'm completely and utterly lost, about two hours late for whatever I was going to do, and about to have a heart attack from stress and frustration. Case in point, Gugulethu (township in Cape Town), maps do not help, there are no street names...

 

[HavoK 09]

i have the ability to sleep anywhere at any time for as long as i want

 

[orc1231515]

I burst into flame the moment i touch water.

 

[AngloDoom]

My toast lands butter-side up.