Useless Superpowers - Whats yours?

[narwhalman218]

i have the ability to find anyone's keys, no matter how lost

 

[Daestar]

Ooh, got another one that I use but not very often because it requires something I don't typically have.

I can turn ice into water by holding it in my hand

 

[Mercurio128]

I have a mighty bionic leg! Capable of kicking a train over a mountain!

...unfortunately the rest of me isn't bionic in the slightest, so even to attempt to jog would tear me in half...

 

[Your Nightmare]

My ability is to be able to tell when people are being sarcastic! And I'm The Shoveler too.

Pull my finger..

I can't think of one atm..i'll edit this later..

 

[Didzydang]

I'm invisible to blind people

 

[TheLefty]

I have the ability to leap tall buildings in a single helicopter, and run as fast as a stationary bullet.

I think we all lose, that's pretty great.

But I'll try any way, I have the ability to get really mediocre at things really quickly, followed by a loss of interest and barely any growth of ability, examples being learning to play the guitar, trombone, viola, and harmonica.

 

[Mercurio128]

I am invisible to earthworms.

I can also weave fabric and knit at up to 1.4 times the normal rate.

 

[brunothepig]

Nullify the dangers of mercury without altering it. So I could play with it and not put myself or anyone else in danger of a horrible death. Why? Because it's liquid metal, that has incredibly low viscosity so it doesn't cling to you (not "wet") and because it's so dense you can float really heavy things in there, like pool balls.
I really want to play with mercury...

 

[oktalist]

He has the strength of TWO MEN!

And he always mentions this to people as though it's so incredible, in a comic book universe where it's already been established that each of his peers has the strength of at least ten.

 

[Ray De Ation]

I can make people taste whatever word I say.

 

[EPolleys]

The ability to produce playdough out of any orifice of my body, which the melts into goo.

 

[Mercurio128]

The ability to reach down the phone line and slap the person I'm talking to.

 

[theironbat46]

The power to provide medicine to all the sick and feed all the hungry in the world but then do nothing despite my abilities....i suppose that would make me the pope....ouch!

If you were the pope wouldn't your super power be protecting pedophiles? ZING!

 

[Decum]

I have psychic powers that can only be used to move my own body parts, yup i'm THAT awesome.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

The sense to ability make

 

[David_G]

This is taken from a Cyanide & Happiness comic.
I'm Irony Man!
What's your power?
I can iron clothes really good.

Which is ironic because I'm a man.

 

[Cormitt]

Fear me... I am good parking man..

 

[rex922]

the ability to fly while your feet is firmly planted to the ground

 

[Unia]

I have prophetic dreams I only remember once the depicted events have occurred.

I have high resistance to local anesthetics. (No, really. Sucks all the more because doctors never believe me when I tell this.)