Useless Superpowers - Whats yours?

[Hexadecimal]

Mine would be to squirt blood at people, with the price of losing my own.

There's a lizard that does that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEl6TXrkZnk
So I guess you'd be Lizardman?

I would be Dishpan Hands Man, with the power to mildly bother people with my gross hands.

Holy crap, I never thought God would ever grant a living creature such a useless defense mechanism. That's kind of sad.

 

[ShrooM_DoughKiD]

I have the ability to live in direct sunlight for thirty minutes. I haven't tested the full extent of this ability but my creators have advised me against exceeding that limit.

I also have the ability to lift 50x my own weight. However I have no way of accessing this ability or living while/after it is done.

Mine would be the ability to Eat lead, but only it can only be a base, in a paint product.

But you would still get the effects of lead poisoning right?

Right.

 

[KiiDWiZ]

To become extremely muscular at the expense of my real strength.

 

[Malgorath]

the ability to be invisible in a dark room when everyone is looking the other way.
the ability to fly...as a passenger in an airplane

 

[captaincabbage]

air-conditioning super-breath.

 

[Arkzism]

the power to tell lame puns!!!1

 

[The Eggplant]

The power to put others to sleep by telling incredibly long, abominably dry jokes. With much inherent backtracking.

Also, the power to get lost whenever possible. Seriously. Put me in an empty room and I'll somehow misplace the door.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

I can quote movies, but only really memorable one liners. Also I ain't got time to bleed

 

[LordOrin]

Mine would be to squirt blood at people, with the price of losing my own.

There's a lizard that does that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEl6TXrkZnk
So I guess you'd be Lizardman?

I would be Dishpan Hands Man, with the power to mildly bother people with my gross hands.

Holy crap, I never thought God would ever grant a living creature such a useless defense mechanism. That's kind of sad.

At least it's better than sea cucumbers vomiting up their own intestines:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCxKFc3XtJs&feature=related

 

[Fidelias]

Turning half invisible (50% opacity)

Acutally, you could fool people into thinking your a ghost!

"Boo, ************!"

But my useless superpower would be to be able to remember the important events in any fictional plot for at least 3 years.

 

[Eatbrainz]

The ability to tell what specific episode of Blackadder is on just from the first line of dialogue.

 

[the-kitchen-slayer]

mate and produce offspring with innanimate objects
create 3 cubic inches of mashed potatoes
summon buddah
literalize street signs (actual street signs required)
create subtitles on whatever I say
solar powered soft glowing
the ability to come up with all of these

Ah, so you have the power of a "Stuperpowers Deluxe!" manual eh?

As for my power: Irate DM Power! Kill half the party, but they claim it's awesome and roll up new characters!

 

[Nopodop]

The ability to turn 0% invisible.
Or the ability tomake limitless meme, Oblivion, ot Runescape references (That's almost true).