Useless team mates

[PoolCleaningRobot]

Honestly, I like having a shitty team. It makes me feel better about myself

 

[Vladimir Eremeyev]

Can someone tell me, why team I join is always incompetent and opposite plays like a pro. Dota 2, CODBO2, WOT, you name it.
I'm not a pro myself but not a useless load. About average with lucky killstreaks now and then. And I'm sure as hell not pulling team down.

Do I have aura of fail around me or what?
For example, if we talk Dota 2; If there's a Pudge on our team his hooks will be THE WORST HOOKS EVER. OF ALL TIME.
Yet if THE SAME PERSON would be on the opposite team and he picks Pudge he will have GODLIKE hooks and ultimate teamwork.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

P.S. Anyone have the same problem?

 

[NightmareExpress]

Can someone tell me, why team I join is always incompetent and opposite plays like a pro. Dota 2, CODBO2, WOT, you name it.
I'm not a pro myself but not a useless load. About average with lucky killstreaks now and then. And I'm sure as hell not pulling team down.

Do I have aura of fail around me or what?
For example, if we talk Dota 2; If there's a Pudge on our team his hooks will be THE WORST HOOKS EVER. OF ALL TIME.
Yet if THE SAME PERSON would be on the opposite team and he picks Pudge he will have GODLIKE hooks and ultimate teamwork.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

P.S. Anyone have the same problem?

Perhaps it's "the chain is as strong as the weakest link" theory in action? (lol, Pudge joke, lol)
I've noticed that in 5-man team MOBAS that if the 4 v 4 is pretty much equal, then the outcome of the game is pretty much determined by the skill of the last guy on the team(s). I imagine a lot of other games are determined like that but with higher number ratios taken into the equation (TF2 sweeps are usually caused by an upwards of three people picking the wrong class).

If you have one REALLY good person on your team, three averages and one bad then you're probably going to win against a team that has four averages and one bad or three averages and two bad. Even that average Pudge will seem like a god when pit against two people of lower skill.

 

[SadisticBrownie]

League's full of retards, yes. I have my fair share of shitty games too.
One of my friends gets furious when people play badly on it, and that annoys me more than people playing shitty. When it boils down to it, it's just a game.

 

[Godhead]

Those damn assholes who play nothing but Archers in chivalry. WE HAVE 1 KNIEHGT, 2 VANGUARDS, AND NO MAN AT ARMS. WHY THE HELL DO WE NEED 8 ARCHERS? *ahem* Seriously you guys, this is almost as bad when I used to play Tribes: Ascend and everybody else was either a sentinel or a pathfinder. I mean it's not like we need HoFs or flag disruption or anything. (even know that game haunts me so)

 

[Pat8u]

I really can't judge other people on my team because in every game I always assume I'm bad and apologize when the game is lost to our team even if wasn't technically my fault... One exception is the GW2 suicide room in COF grrr stupid teammates for not sacrificing themselves fast enough, why don't people understand that asz soon as you die you have to respawn and wait for the next group to die before going in (Can anyone who plays GW2 currently(I stopped becasue my computer overheats too much) tell me if that dungeon has been nerfed)

 

[Vladimir Eremeyev]

Perhaps it's "the chain is as strong as the weakest link" theory in action? (lol, Pudge joke, lol)
I've noticed that in 5-man team MOBAS that if the 4 v 4 is pretty much equal, then the outcome of the game is pretty much determined by the skill of the last guy on the team(s). I imagine a lot of other games are determined like that but with higher number ratios taken into the equation (TF2 sweeps are usually caused by an upwards of three people picking the wrong class).

If you have one REALLY good person on your team, three averages and one bad then you're probably going to win against a team that has four averages and one bad or three averages and two bad. Even that average Pudge will seem like a god when pit against two people of lower skill.

No man, it's like when I join the server literary everyone's IQ seems to suffer -50 INT or something.
Speaking of Pudges, hooks are starting to grab allies
In COD knifes(grenades, sniper rifles, etc) only kills teammates
In World of Tanks there's always THAT ONE GUY who gets "LETS JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE"
etc, etc

Yet none of that crap ever happens with the opposing team. NEVER.

Oh and guess what? If I switch teams my former teammates will SUDDENLY get competent as heck and go pwning like no tomorrow and opposing team... Well, you know.

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

Pick up groups in Star Wars: the Old Republic tend to be incredibly frustrating. But that's MMOs in general.

Like other people, I too get irritated by the teammates I get paired up with in Mass Effect 3. It got to the point where I would only play with my friends, because they weren't stupid. Vanguard players think that since they can get away with spamming Biotic Charge ---> Nova in Bronze or maybe Silver matches, they try to bring that shit into Golds and are quickly beat down. They then leave because 'no one's backing them up.' It's why I hate the points... everyone is out for themselves to get the most points in every match instead of trying to work together like a team.

Same thing in Halo - everyone's a fucking diva in Halo and most games are lost because of it. Teamwork is lost on them, and if you happen to take a weapon/vehicle they like, well fuck you! They're gonna make is as difficult as possible for you to utilize it or betray you if they can. I call in ordinance because I'm one of the only people that can, and the damn pod falls ahead of me near a teammate, who then proceeds to steal it from you, only to be killed anyway.

I don't get why people like to play team modes in online games only to be all out for themselves anyway.

 

[The Wykydtron]

See, this is what happens when you go off into the scary world of Solo Q (or in this case, YOLO Q would be more fitting.)

Anyway, you went into a game without your jungle HECARIM. The hell did you think was gonna happen? I can run in 1v5 and (usually) live, can anyone else do that? Even if I die it's often a 5 for 1 exchange because lol focus the pony.

At least you weren't lagging this time. Thank god for small mercies :3


OT: Well, today I had a team where I had to babysit bot fucking hardcore with jungle Nocturne. I mean HARDCORE, I leave them alone for 2 minutes and they got double killed. Again. I would get at least one kill bot, farm a bit, kill bot again, get my ult back while farming then ULT BOT

After a few successful ganks our Renekton top forgets that a jungler is in fact, NOT an omnipotent being and I can't be top and bot at the same time, now stop whining.

He was doing fine as well. Whenever I looked at him he was miles ahead of their Vi, usually chasing her down in fact (even though Vi's supposed to be doing the chasing according to her theme song but whatever) then boom, I look away for a minute and he's mysteriously died... No fucking idea how. Their WW was AFK farming his jungle all game as well so top wasn't getting camped.

To top it off the game was relatively close since their team had two AD carries (Ashe and Twitch) so once it hit late game we all had enough armour to give zero fucks about anyone but Brand and WW. Then oh dear apparently our Kog'Maw decided to brainlessly farm bot when we don't even have an inhib turret, he's all the way down to our broken first tier turret then oops 5 man gank lol.


Oh and we had an AP Yi mid. *Sigh*

Erm... You and Rookie make it clear you've never truly PLAYED Dota 2.

Not just played it. I mean be as unlucky as I and get put into the low priority queue with all the leavers and trolls (I had a couple of emergencies during games).

I tried to play a game in that queue... And the game starts with us getting a leaver, of course. So I'm playing Centaur Warrunner in a 2v1 lane. Then to top it off, our Nature's Prophet appeared to have some form of mental illness.

The Prophet started the game by teleporting to a cliff above Roshan (Nashor) where not only could he not attack Roshan, but he was also stuck between trees and couldn't escape. He then waited a whole minute for the cooldown to reset before he teleports in front of Roshan. After doing this, he proceeds to try and solo the Roshan at level 1. He dies and he tries to repeat EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN. He kept doing this for 50 minutes. He went afk a couple of times and waited in the river for the rune to spawn a couple of times. But not once did he relent in trying to kill Roshan.

Oh we get leavers and trolls in LoL pretty frequently don't you worry. I've never seen someone try to solo Baron unless it's like 40 minutes in and he's fed however. Then he realises he either A: isn't tanky enough B: has fuck all life steal or C: has no proper DPS. Then there's Warwick who I once saw soloing Baron at 30 minutes while the rest of his team was having a 4v5 teamfight...

He got it as well. How amazing. Stupid, but amazing.

So does Roshan spawn at minute 1 then I assume? I really hope someone puts together a Roshan centric team comp to take it at the lowest level as possible.

I guess that NP decided a 4v5 was unwinnable from the start so started trolling in response. Wait, NP can global teleport at level 1?

[sub]Why isch he scho OP?! I couldnsch even dive him undersh his tower or anything![/sub]


Damn I wish TF's ult was still global... It's still good but he could literally make any gank a 2v2, 3 man gank bot and just be fucking everywhere.

I'm sure that ult falls off lategame though, what he gonna teleport into a teamfight? Woop de do! I guess the vision is more important then but still.

Oh just curious but can DOTA players create troll builds as well as they can in LoL? There's no AP so you can't build something like AP Ashe and the ult would just instakill someone from across the map but that's it. Then there's AP Yi which I am NOT going into because it is the most gimmicky crap ever.

When a character has only one or two abilities that have AP scaling, the ratio is usually pretty high for some reason. So you can have stuff like Mage Fortune and, i've yet to see it but I would like to see the reflect damage on Fiora's Riposte if she had AP.

You hit her and you die. Trololol.

I think all AD Carries have high AP ratios on their ults if they have any AP at all (Mage Fortune.) It's why AP Ezreal is still viable, the ult just hits an entire team for half their health.

 

[Sassafrass]

Battlefield 3.
Operation Metro.
Rush on the attacking side, not so much the defending side.
How many snipers do you need? Not the nine currently sat in the spawn with the shittiest line of sight known to man. -.-

Also, if I follow you across the map for 1 minute spamming the in game "AMMO!" or "MEDIC!" command at the back of your head, I think I might want something along those lines from you, support/medic. So, ya know...if you want me gone, give me the stuff I want.

Blops 2.
The guys that try to take your care packages when you call them in. And I don't mean you've been killed and they're trying to take it. No, I mean the guys that are halfway across the map and then run back to your care package when they see it coming in. Just...why.

Still love playing these though, both have their moments of awesomeness/hilarity.

 

[mortalsatsuma]

pretty much 9/10 people on MVM cannot play it. I've had to abandon more matches than I've played due to engies that don't construct stuff and people just making stupid teams. Yeah, because 4 pyros will defo win. Idiots.

 

[Thoughtful_Salt]

BF3-Operation Metro, all we have to do is hold B flag, but no, our team wants to be a hero and triple cap the enemy, the problem is, is that while they are clearing out A and camping in the houses, a whole metric ton of enemies gets through and overwhelms me defending the flag, and then proceed to double cap B and C and then Triple capping us in the end, it's happened so many times that I simply hulked out and started destroying enemies with the cheapest weapons instead of letting them humiliate me and my team again....but seriously, my teams in BF3 can be pretty stupid sometimes.

Haven't had too much difficult with Halo 4 yet, mind you i've only been playing for 3 hours online. Speaking of which, check out my review of the single player: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esYqwu1Zacs&list=PL_jM2OKx0_xSAAOfkNR97cg72TOxhJZ5k&index=3

A multiplayer review will come out later.

 

[Thedutchjelle]

Battlefield 3.
Operation Metro.
Rush on the attacking side, not so much the defending side.
How many snipers do you need? Not the nine currently sat in the spawn with the shittiest line of sight known to man. -.-

Also, if I follow you across the map for 1 minute spamming the in game "AMMO!" or "MEDIC!" command at the back of your head, I think I might want something along those lines from you, support/medic. So, ya know...if you want me gone, give me the stuff I want.

Blops 2.
The guys that try to take your care packages when you call them in. And I don't mean you've been killed and they're trying to take it. No, I mean the guys that are halfway across the map and then run back to your care package when they see it coming in. Just...why.

Still love playing these though, both have their moments of awesomeness/hilarity.

Metro isn't really a map you can take seriously though. It kills more people per day than the total of WW1 and the frontline is about as mobile.

On the subject of Battlefield 3: Idiotic gunners in my tank.
The second seat has a HMG .50 Cal which can hurt every vehicle except for other armours. However, firing the weapon gives away your location on the minimap. Far too often do people join my tank as if it were a taxiservice and then shoot at stuff 12 miles away when I'm driving. Preferably at jets, because you know the odds of hitting an afterburner jet across the map with slow ass bullets is totally viable. These people often also do not ever watch the minimap either so even when a target is nearby and you're parking in such a way that they can hit - they just derp around and shoot clouds.
This is especially enraging if they KEEP joining your tank or if they ninja it when you hop out to repair.

A special place in hell is also reserved for Recon class members who take the tanks to drive to their snipe spot and bail out as soon as it's damaged (since they can't repair it without an Engineer).

Luckily this problem is also present on hostile teams.

==
Planetside 2 tanks driving you over? How about infantry suddenly crossing the road? I can't break on a dime. The first 30 minutes I played that game I had more friendly kills than hostile ones. Nowadays I just drive very carefully with my headlights on to prevent grinding out more suicidal teammates.

Other Planetside 2 examples that I've dealt with:

-The medic that always tries to revive every single dead body instead of shooting back at the enemy.
-Anyone who parks a Sunderer underneath the Bio Labs instead of at useful spawn locations.
-The light assault that refuses to move up, continuing to camp an area that was captured quite a while ago because (and I quote) "This is a killer spot, nobody looks up here"
-Anyone past battle rank 2 who teamkills for no reason.
-The entirety of Command chat. (Bit of advice for those who play the game: Only ever spend the 100 certs to get this if you've completely finished everything else first. There's no point to it)
-Liberator pilots who think they can dogfight effectively with Reavers/Mosquitos/Scythes
-Those who think the flash is anything more than a quick, cheap, single person transport
-Heavy assaults that use the rocket launcher in close quarters firefights
-Engineers that think the Mako turret solves every problem. Including 5 heavy tanks rolling over a hill
-People who drop pod their own allied aircraft
-The entirety of the zerg, especially when they move on before completely capturing a continent.
-The dead silence in a squad that doesn't use the in-game voice or text chat
-Infiltrators that try to take out MAX suits in close combat
-Anybody who just sits around and doesn't help cap the point, even when it's sitting at 1/6

That's all for me for now...but I know I've probably showed up for at least 1 of these. And I do have more...I just can't remember any right now.

These are all good, but the Flash is so much more than just a quick transport.

Get some C4 and a Flash and you have yourself a weapon of mass destruction. Attach the C4 to the Flash then charge it towards a deployed Sunderer and leap off at the last moment and hit the remote detonator.

Most people just can't react quickly enough, especially if you mask your approach a little if the fun bus is hidden around a corner etc.

Equip the Flash with a proximity sensor and hide it! You got your own personal movable radar.

 

[kommando367]

That's why I mostly stick to deathmatch modes in MP games. That and the sheer amount of chaos. Such glorious chaos...

I'd suggest learning to work with the randomly selected players until you can find more good players to add as friends.
The more friends you have, the more likely that you'll have a friend available to play with.

 

[Snotnarok]

90% of games in Team Fortress 2 Pyros not putting out fellow teammates who're burning to death, same goes to jarate snipers. Medics ignoring all but 1 guy no matter what. Teammates who stack classes so the teams wind up being 5 snipers or 4 spies on a 12 man team...sometimes 5 snipers & 4 spies all at once which really makes you wonder how that cart is going to get pushed, or how that point is gonna get capped.

Sort of the only multiplayer game I play at the moment so it's all I can comment on.

 

[The Hero Killer]

Been having this problem on Guild Wars 2 lately. Just because your signet warrior can facetank mobs in the world doesnt mean they can do it in a dungeon. Use communication and teamwork. When someone calls a target attack it for christs sake, and dont think you wont have to dodge in this game or the enemy wont attack you because your not up in its face.

 

[Jimmy T. Malice]

I have many gripes about teamwork in Team Fortress 2, but here's a specific one: teammates grabbing health packs before me when I'm a Medic and low on health. They don't even need them; I'm an infinite source of healing right here!

 

[ramboondiea]

every time killing floor goes on sale you usually do get some new players trying to play the higher difficulties which makes the match a alot more painful, i mean if your level 1 sharp shooter and a level 0 everything else, you really shouldn't be on hard or suicidal and you should never be on hell on earth. but i wouldn't call them bad team mates, the bad ones are the ones who have been playing a while and still dont know or care about tactics, such as how to actually kill the higher tier things effectively, or the "wield all the doors" guy.

also the worst team ever is me and my friends playing magika, we have yet to get to act 2 and we have had the game for a good while now haha.

 

[Techno Squidgy]

every time killing floor goes on sale you usually do get some new players trying to play the higher difficulties which makes the match a alot more painful, i mean if your level 1 sharp shooter and a level 0 everything else, you really shouldn't be on hard or suicidal and you should never be on hell on earth. but i wouldn't call them bad team mates, the bad ones are the ones who have been playing a while and still dont know or care about tactics, such as how to actually kill the higher tier things effectively, or the "wield all the doors" guy.

I am the 'weld all the doors' guy.
Though it's more, 'weld all the doors behind me that my friend Connor has not yet got through'. For all those that happen to be also not be through the door, I'm sorry, but if you could hear Connor on Skype, you'd do it to!
Maybe I should record it and make a Youtube series out of it or something...

Connor doesn't afraid of Fleshpounds or Skrakes. He afraids of what I'm going to do when they chase us.