Vault101s guide to writing awsome storys!

[Alandoril]

My god this thread is genius! I'll bring this to the attention of the marketing department, as I work in publishing, they are almost certain to promote me with insight like this!

I laughed until I almost got sick, Vault you appear to understand the way the vast majority of publishers think these days and it amuses me, greatly.

Chances are they're already aware of the above rules...and actually take them seriously.

 

[Eleuthera]

This will help you to come up with good protagonist/antagonists. I don't know how anyone can think to write a story without this... [sub]and 3 d16 dice of course...[/sub]

 

[Thaluikhain]

I'm not new at all. I've been a part of this site now since December '11. However, I know Vault has made some serious threads in the past with that kind of spelling, so I have no idea if this is the same or not.

my advice is gold

since your genre is fantasy then you should be aware of the strict rules

-dwarves, short loud drinking miners
-elfs, nature loving, arrow shooting "spiritually superior" beings
-humans all round awsome...and bastards at times
-orcs 100% evil

and don't forget dragons, chosen ones, villages burning and....hmmm....magical macguffans and big dark pure evil forces

if you deviate from that then your no fantasy author

Also, the humans should be white, the elfs should be white, and the dwarfs should be white. You can have a generic kingdom of evil black people if you want, or maybe a stereotypical version of China which needs the word "Jade" used a lot.

 

[JemothSkarii]

I've been writing all wrong! Man I've been working with such massive cliches and I never got this kind of stuff in my work. Thanks, time to do better at my writing!

 

[ShindoL Shill]

Cant tell if bad spelling is intentional.

Or just Vault being Vault.

Maybe Vault's bad spelling is ALWAYS intentional.

OT: A good guide for protagonists is making them a Mary Sue.
Mary Sues are easy as hell to write. Even easier if you make them a blatant author insert; people say "write what you know" and who do you know better than you!

there has always have to be a guy or girl in your story that acts, talks and looks shady and will always betray the protagonist, which will completely suprise the protagonist and everyone else.

Yes, but remember; you should make it totally obvious to the reader, so that they can feel smart. If it isn't obvious to everyone, then you fail at foreshadowing, and will never ever be a good writer, ever.

 

[Vault101]

snip.

I think people do exagerate what he means...which is conquoring the uncanny valley which is a fair enough goal

however Mass Effect shows that its not the Uncanney Valley alone that holds thease things back...you still need the story/charachters

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Vault.


Vault what are you doing?

Vault!

[HEADING=1]Stahp![/HEADING]

You're gonna hurt and confuse people!

You're a monster!

 

[Zhukov]

Well... now I feel like an idiot for clicking this thread thinking I might actually pick up a writing tip or two.

...

Oh man, it gets worse. One of my characters comes dangerously close to fitting your Strong Independent Woman thing.

 

[Dead Seerius]

And don't forget that the villain must desire for the complete and utter destruction of the planet! Nothing raises the stakes in a story like a good ol' world-ending threat.
I actually tremble in fear whenever the story I'm reading reveals that the world is in danger.

I'm always like 'Oh God I was afraid this would happen! Shitshitshit what happens if the protagonist FAILS?? I mean, I live on earth!'

 

[SckizoBoy]

My dear Vault... you must write a book, and write it nau!! It'll be Man Booker prize material for sure! =_=

 

[Soods]

I think you should expand the Villain part a bit more. He (the main Villain is always male) must always have this twisted but submissive servant (usually female) and of course the villain always has a massive army of ugly things (who have no idea how to fight).

 

[grey_space]

This almost like an IQ test for escapists.

Vault,

I salute you.

 

[BeerTent]

You missed one, Vault!!

Family ties
Your protagonist (Who is a badass! With/whois a massive dick!) must have no remaining family ties. Parents must be hated, disowned by, or dead [https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5126997504/hE05D2427/][footnote]I was actually just going to link to batman, but look! Gif!![/footnote] through some horrible tragedy, and siblings must not exist.

Ooh! bonus points if they were abusive!!

 

[VanQ]

I'm not a writer or nothing but I'm far from taking writing advice from someone that apparently can't grasp simple grammar and spelling.

Snarkiness aside, it's scary how point 7 actually sums up your typical modern, realistic military shooter quite accurately...

 

[Whitbane]

Vault is best advice giver. I'm now off to start on my multi-novel epic using his tips for romance. Thank you, All Powerful One.

 

[Vault101]

Well... now I feel like an idiot for clicking this thread thinking I might actually pick up a writing tip or two.

I am honored that you thought I might have been qualified to give out writing advice

[sub/][small/]in all seriousness I could but it would be mostly very basic stuff anyone should know[/small][/sub]

 

[Blunderboy]

The Great Snip of Awesomeness, which was foretold in the ancient prophesies.

Ah Vault. This is why we love you kiddo.

Also - The Villain.

Must be evil for the sake of it, because you don't want to confuse your readers with one of those icky moral dilemmas if the villain is in anyway relatable or god's forbid, talking sense.

And they must come from the Darkest timeline.

 

[Legion]

The most important thing to remember about how to make a story dark is that you have to kill off as many characters that the protagonist cares about. It doesn't matter how contrived it is, more deaths means more emotions!

Has a best friend? Kill them off.
Has a family? Kill them off?
Has a pet? Kill them off.
Said "hi" to a random person on the street? Kill them off.

The more people you kill off for no reason, the darker the story becomes!