"Wait...Did it just move?."--Oldest food in your fridge.

[Zeke109]

I looked through my fridge just for this..found nothing. In the cabnets however...there was a can of creamed corn whose expiration date was in 1965. My house is a repo, so theres a lot of things left over...like a 20 year old broken lamp. (which incidentally, works perfectly.)

 

[SomeBritishDude]

Once, early one morning, grabbed my cereal, found a jug of milk on the counter and made to pore it over my weetabix. The result? Instead of poring the milk flopped over. It become yogurt. Plus, the other side of this...paste was green and blue and had hair. It also stank.

Surprising it actually tasted quiet good on weetabix.

Not fridge, but similarly related...
I was given an easter egg when i was 6, it had a green wrapper, and i still remember the two holes in the foil which showed its chocolaty goodness inside. Such goodness in fact, that I never ate it...
I hid it in the back of my cupboard, hidden away from all the scary things in the world, like parents who may throw it away
I checked it, on and off, for 11 years, and it always sat there, content, happy with life
My beacon of hope
I checked it one morning, there it was, happy and green, went off to school where a discussion similar to this one came up, and I told of my epic egg
Many did not believe me, one person so much so that he decided to find out for himself
He visited to see the egg
The egg was gone

I was the last to leave the house, first to arrive back
August 19th, it was a Tuesday, cold, humid, partially overcast
I remember it like it was yesterday
Oh egg, where did you go?

Well, it had been there for eleven years. Maybe it grew legs and walked away.

 

[xitel]

Once, early one morning, grabbed my cereal, found a jug of milk on the counter and made to pore it over my weetabix. The result? Instead of poring the milk flopped over. It become yogurt. Plus, the other side of this...paste was green and blue and had hair. It also stank.

Surprising it actually tasted quiet good on weetabix.

What color was the hair? You may have just eaten primordial ooze my friend.

 

[Zeke109]

Is the fish prophetic? No? Then it's nothing compared to my Jello! But seriously, 14 year old fish? It's gone, don't eat it. It will make you hallucinate in a bad way.

Oh, I have heard strange voices in the middle of the night. It keeps telling me to do things... bad things.

That's a scary bit of fish, frozen or preserved in any way?

I think it is in the freezer actually, I'm too scared at the moment to check.

That's funny, the Jello population that believes I exist wish for me to smite those who don't think I exist.

give them that headache pill that disolves in water, they may start a nuclear war!

what did they ever do to deserve that? would you like it if they started a nuclear war with you? think about it

this entire conversation seems reminiscent of a Simpson's Treehouse of Horror episode.

Lisa performs a science experiment to see if cola will dissolve a tooth and Bart shocks Lisa as part of his project to prove that nerds conduct electricity. The tooth was also shocked and it undergoes an unusual reaction and creates a race of miniature beings. Lisa discovers this the next day and marvels at how the people in her universe evolve at a rapid rate, going through the various ages humans have gone through into modern times and eventually, a society more advanced than current humanity. Bart destroys some of the ecosystem in Lisa's tub universe and the people respond, sending a squadron of space ships to attack Bart. Bart vows revenge on the small universe and Lisa wonders what to do. Suddenly, she is beamed down into the tub where the citizens explain that they regard her as God and they want her to do something about Bart. However, Bart grabs the tub and submits it in the science fair and Lisa is forced to watch from within as Bart wins first prize. She asks to be returned to her normal size, which the citizens explain is impossible, and she realizes that she is stuck in the tub for the rest of her life. Grumpily, Lisa demands they carry on worshipping her.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

A jiggly understatement.

Did it have a religion yet?

Not only that, but it had strong convictions against religion. There were militant atheists! I'm using it as a model on humanity. 2079 is going to be ugly by the way.

Are there factions? Organized governments? Protesters? It's not accurate otherwise. Besides, everyone knows the world will end in 2012.

Of course it has all of that. And the world will live on after 2012. It'll just look like Fallout 3, if the Jello is to be believed.

You sniffed it didn't you.

No! Not much...

Is the fish prophetic? No? Then it's nothing compared to my Jello! But seriously, 14 year old fish? It's gone, don't eat it. It will make you hallucinate in a bad way.

Oh, I have heard strange voices in the middle of the night. It keeps telling me to do things... bad things.

That's a scary bit of fish, frozen or preserved in any way?

I think it is in the freezer actually, I'm too scared at the moment to check.

That's funny, the Jello population that believes I exist wish for me to smite those who don't think I exist.

give them that headache pill that disolves in water, they may start a nuclear war!

They've already had several! BTW, humanity is going to hate 2940.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

I don't know what the thing in my fridge is, I think it was a lobster... wait......... OH SHIT! Its escaped!

That's nothing. I've seen worse. besides, Cowboy Bebop already did that.

Thank you Crimson, that WAS the joke.

You're welcome.

 

[xitel]

I don't know what the thing in my fridge is, I think it was a lobster... wait......... OH SHIT! Its escaped!

That's nothing. I've seen worse. besides, Cowboy Bebop already did that.

Thank you Crimson, that WAS the joke.

Don't encourage him, he's like the plague.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

I don't know what the thing in my fridge is, I think it was a lobster... wait......... OH SHIT! Its escaped!

That's nothing. I've seen worse. besides, Cowboy Bebop already did that.

Thank you Crimson, that WAS the joke.

Don't encourage him, he's like the plague.

Am not! Though I'm pretty sure I'm cultivating it in my fridge.

 

[meatloaf231]

I've got lens from a cow eye in my freezer from fourth grade. We dissected one and I got to keep it. I guess that's not food, though.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Welllll when I was at one of my friends houses once we found an old glass of chunky milk... it smelled absolutely horrible! The oldest thing I ever found in my fridge would have to be cheese strings, I found one that had expired in 2006 about 3 months ago...

Bah, I eat chunky milk for lunch! Wait, I think I've done this joke before. Have I? Oh well, in any case my Jello is manlier.

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

I too have jello....13 years old

 

[crimson5pheonix]

I too have jello....13 years old

What point in society have they reached?

 

[Fatalis67]

I found a cup of chocolate milk in the back of the garage. It was probably there for a good year. The entire cup was filled (and overflowing with) a purplish mold that squirted an incredibly foul smelling liquid when I poked it with a stick.

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

I too have jello....13 years old

What point in society have they reached?

They have started taking over the Chicken on the other side of the fridge. Interstellar space flight

 

[crimson5pheonix]

I too have jello....13 years old

What point in society have they reached?

They have started taking over the Chicken on the other side of the fridge. Interstellar space flight

We must compare results. It appears there are two different possibilities for humanity by way of Jello.

 

[bl82]

Well this wasn't a fridge but at the grocery store i used to work at, there was a canned whole chicken out on the self(seriously, the thing weighed about two pounds and it was jammed into a can.)So anyway, it was said to have been there since the store opened, about 8 years ago at the time, and i was told to throw it out because we were making room for new product. Well, just for kicks me and a co-worker cracked the thing open just to see what it looked like. It was blue. Nuff said.

 

[Omnidum]

We must compare results. It appears there are two different possibilities for humanity by way of Jello.

Put a LEGO brick on the Jello and see what happens.

 

[BlueTomfoolery]

one of the drawrs in my house is infested with moths ._.