Wanting another guy's girl

[Griffolion]

Hey everyone,

I certainly hope I'm not the only one who is in this boat. There's a girl who I'm pretty much besotted with but she's been in a really long relationship with another guy that doesn't look like it will end any time soon.

Anyway, I'm good friends with this guy so I would never want those two to break up as they're really good together, but at the same time I really wish I was with her.

So have you guys ever had an experience like this / are experiencing this?

P.S - Girls, I know this can work the other way round too, it would be good to get your thoughts too.

 

[Zahri]

On that boat right now. =(

 

[BlastedTheWorm]

There's no way you're the only one. You can't really help who you fall for, can you?

At least you can think about more than yourself in this case, in not wanting to break them up.

 

[DazZ.]

Ha.
Yeah this happened recently but it wasn't futile.

You can't keep that up though and just have to let it go and move, you're the one being a dick even if she is "playing along" with you.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'm one of those guys you're talking about. I've been with my fiancee since I was 15 (now 23), and not once has any of my friends let on that they feel the way you do (if they do at all). If you truly care for your friend and his happiness then you will leave well alone. You'll be a better man for it.

 

[Gxas]

The girl I'm talking to now was in a "relationship" with one of my friends. Basically, he didn't want to be tied down, and she wanted a serious relationship. I showed her that I wanted the same thing (it helped that we have all the same interests and that I was the only guy she had connected with on that level in quite some time) and eventually she just started talking to me and stopped talking to the other guy.

That won't work in your case, however. You're just going to have to ride it out if you want to be with her. Or, if you're smart, you'll move on and not let her know your true feelings until they break up, if they ever do.

 

[Griffolion]

Ha.
Yeah this happened recently but it wasn't futile.

You can't keep that up though and just have to let it go and move, you're the one being a dick even if she is "playing along" with you.

Sorry if I gave out the wrong impression, she doesn't even know I like her, we're just good friends.

 

[Hippobatman]

Yeah, it's tricky. My advice though; leave it be.

I was there, their relationship went rocky, I had sex with her and though that everything was going my way. It wasn't. My friend resented me, she turned me down, and they got back together a short while afterwards.

Everything's very awkward around either of them now.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Pretty much the story of my life. Bite through it and try not to get too bitter in the process.

 

[DazZ.]

Sorry if I gave out the wrong impression, she doesn't even know I like her, we're just good friends.

Not really a problem then if you don't want her enough that you need her. If you can be drunk with her alone, without making a pass you're fine and you'll get over it.

Otherwise, find someone else to throw yourself at before you make a tit out of yourself to this girl.

Edit: Don't listen to anything I say though, this is a gaming forum. Not the best place for relationship advice!

 

[Skoldpadda]

You gotta move on, bro. If he's your friend, you don't touch his woman. Bros before hos.

Plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

[Griffolion]

Sorry if I gave out the wrong impression, she doesn't even know I like her, we're just good friends.

Not really a problem then if you don't want her enough that you need her. If you can be drunk with her alone without making a pass you're fine and you'll get over it.

Otherwise, find someone else to throw yourself at before you make a tit out of yourself to this girl.

Well I do appreciate the advice. Though I don't think I 'throw' myself at girls :/.

 

[wooty]

Been on that boat many times, but I'm in a different train of thought right now thinking if my girl is carrying on with someone else, as I rarely see her these days.

 

[endnuen]

If the dude is not my bro, I will royally fuck him over, unless he is somehow also a very good friend of some of my other friends. A situation in which I find myself. But it does not discourage me from flirting with her whenever she is around though.

But on that note I would never get it on with any girl who has any relations to my bro, be it an ex or sister. They are just off limits.

Exception; If he insists that is is okay, both while he is drunk and sober. Thrice on different occasions.

 

[DazZ.]

Well I do appreciate the advice. Though I don't think I 'throw' myself at girls :/.

Figure of speech, I'm sure you're not that sloppy and have some skill/class.

 

[SofaEater]

NO! trust me, this is not only from experience but seeing this happen to friends. DON'T DID IT nothing good will happen. That is the definition of Murphy's Law. And your friends are important, you gotta stay loyal to the people you care about otherwise you'll lose 'em and, at the very least, won't trust you anymore. It's a dick move. And no stable relationship with this girl will work cause you broke them up cause soon the excitement of a new boy friend will wear off and she'll resent you.

But then again this stuff my not happen...doubtful though.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

If the dudes a friend, just get over it, distract yourself with someone else, itll go away

 

[Azure-Supernova]

Yeah, as it stands I'm actually one of the guys with the girl a few people have leered over. Trust me bud, you don't want to let on to your mate that you like her. It can make things rocky.

Oddly enough I was in this situation when I met my current girlfriend. She was with someone (albeit an abusive someone) and I set about the events that broke them up and brought her to me.

 

[Angerwing]

Been there, done that, didn't enjoy it. Never again.

 

[ilessthanthreetea]

Agreed with above, if she seems happy enough then chances are she probally is. If you swindle her away you will seem like a cock even if you are with the girl.

Try and basically get some space and realise that there are other females out there.