Wanting another guy's girl
- Thread starter Griffolion
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LMAO.
Oooooh, this is very interesting, I really want to hear what people have to say on this topic now. Because as it happens, I have a story planned out that I'll soon be writing where one of the main characters is in this exact scenario. It's made slightly more complicated, however, because she's in a band with her love interest, who is her closest friend, said love interest is dating a girl who had a really bad childhood involving sexual abuse by her uncle, and the main girl in this situation is also a closeted bisexual who ends up in a relationship with a close female friend (who she also loves, but not as much as she loves her main male crush/bandmate/best friend). So, like the OP's scenario, but gender-flipped, and more twisted and complex.
Anyway, I was in a situation similar to this in my first year of university. I fancied one of my female flatmates, but left it too long to make a move, and she ended up in a sex-buddy thing with another of the guys in our flat. A few months down the line and they were dating properly, and are still a couple now. Though I've got over it in the past couple of years, so it doesn't make any difference to me now, and I wish them both all the best for the future. But at the time, it did hurt a little, and I did regret not making a move sooner...
Anyway, I was in a situation similar to this in my first year of university. I fancied one of my female flatmates, but left it too long to make a move, and she ended up in a sex-buddy thing with another of the guys in our flat. A few months down the line and they were dating properly, and are still a couple now. Though I've got over it in the past couple of years, so it doesn't make any difference to me now, and I wish them both all the best for the future. But at the time, it did hurt a little, and I did regret not making a move sooner...
Ya these sorts of things come along often, and it's perfectly understandable, your friend find someone attractive so they are likely to be attractive to you too, and more you hang out worse it gets.
Been there of so many times, last girl was with a guy I only barely knew, but I still do not go pocking that bee hive.
So the solution is simply to steer clear of them, love triangles are not something you should mess with, because unlike Hollywood films it never ends well, and messing with your friends relationships will double the damage.
I learned to act cold around my friends attractive partners, more or less ignore them, this way they get annoyed rather quickly and start to act the same towards me, so there is no way I would want them or they me (sort of f*cked up system but it's good insurance).
And an extra advice, don't ever mention this infatuation to your friend or his/her partner, nothing good can come of it.
Been there of so many times, last girl was with a guy I only barely knew, but I still do not go pocking that bee hive.
So the solution is simply to steer clear of them, love triangles are not something you should mess with, because unlike Hollywood films it never ends well, and messing with your friends relationships will double the damage.
I learned to act cold around my friends attractive partners, more or less ignore them, this way they get annoyed rather quickly and start to act the same towards me, so there is no way I would want them or they me (sort of f*cked up system but it's good insurance).
And an extra advice, don't ever mention this infatuation to your friend or his/her partner, nothing good can come of it.
I'd ultimately say leave it up to her and try to move on if things don't go your way.
I was in that boat once. It was about six years ago... i fell in love with a neighbor who had essentially ran away from home as her dad was abusive. To help cheer her up i helped her get back in touch with her best friend who later moved to our town.
...six months later she was pregnant with his child, married him, and they now live a happy life together with two daughters. If ever there was a time that i deeply regretted my sense of honor, it was that. I had her emotionally vulnerable, could have made her mine, but NOOOO... good old honest bastard misses out on the single most attractive woman he ever met and probably one of only three human beings i genuinely respect.
...i'm sorry, that really doesn't help you, does it? For the record, the best man did win. He was the one capable of making her happy. If you become too aggressive in your feelings for her, you'll just hurt her. Ultimately the best way you can show your affection is by letting her be happy with the person she really loves.
I was in that boat once. It was about six years ago... i fell in love with a neighbor who had essentially ran away from home as her dad was abusive. To help cheer her up i helped her get back in touch with her best friend who later moved to our town.
...six months later she was pregnant with his child, married him, and they now live a happy life together with two daughters. If ever there was a time that i deeply regretted my sense of honor, it was that. I had her emotionally vulnerable, could have made her mine, but NOOOO... good old honest bastard misses out on the single most attractive woman he ever met and probably one of only three human beings i genuinely respect.
...i'm sorry, that really doesn't help you, does it? For the record, the best man did win. He was the one capable of making her happy. If you become too aggressive in your feelings for her, you'll just hurt her. Ultimately the best way you can show your affection is by letting her be happy with the person she really loves.
I used to do that acting cold thing, but it always ended up in my friend actually asking me if I had a problem with her, to which I would usually say no but then he would be baffled as to why I was like this. So in a sense, even acting cold betrayed how I felt about some of those girls.Mr.K. said:
Now I just act nice to them regardless, there are some guys who are jealous arse holes even if you never talk to the girl but those guys never tend to do anything about it other than post passive aggressive things on their facebook status' and not invite you to their parties or something.
But yeah, this girl doesn't know I like her and neither does he, I've only told two people I think and asked them to keep it secret.
girl i always liked was never with anyone and still isnt, ever since 8th grade i pursued her, but she never did and never will return the favor. i just cant waste time with her anymore. i could care less now.
as for your situation.
SABOTAGE!! XD
as for your situation.
SABOTAGE!! XD
A lot of people have felt the way you feel, dude. Since we can't control who we are or aren't attracted to, we can't just turn off our hormones if the person we want is taken.
It sucks, and it sucks hard, but you need to get over it. There are other available women out there who'd be just as awesome. In the meantime, these feelings are just going to eat away at you, possibly undermine your friendship, and prevent you from carrying on a normal relationship with anyone else.
It sucks, and it sucks hard, but you need to get over it. There are other available women out there who'd be just as awesome. In the meantime, these feelings are just going to eat away at you, possibly undermine your friendship, and prevent you from carrying on a normal relationship with anyone else.
My personal rule is if its one of my friends dating them i don't even think
about it. If its one of my friends old ex-girlfriend I ask them. If I don't
even know the guy who they are currently dating yeah then I'm just like fuck them
I'm going for it.
about it. If its one of my friends old ex-girlfriend I ask them. If I don't
even know the guy who they are currently dating yeah then I'm just like fuck them
I'm going for it.
