I guess I'm stuck on her for now as there's no'one else I actually like. But I'll never do anything to break them up at all, it's just horrible having this feeling now, as most of you seem to know too.
Wanting another guy's girl
- Thread starter Griffolion
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What this guy and other people have said.Daystar Clarion said:
Don't be a dick, it'll only end badly.
This subject enrages me.
I suspect none of the people who say "Go for it", or, "Yeah I've done it before, fuck the other guy" have actually had a woman cheat on them.
Happened to me once, and I swear by the life in me it will never happen again.
I'm lucky I got away with what I did.
He was in the hospital for quite a while.
I informed my then wife that it was over, and I inform every subsequent girlfriend of what will happen if she cheats on me. She is taking another person's life into her own hands when she contemplates it.
Long story short, don't do it people.
You may think her boyfriend is just a tool, drug addicted scumbag, whatever...
Doesn't mean he wont kick the shit out of you when he finds out.
I suspect none of the people who say "Go for it", or, "Yeah I've done it before, fuck the other guy" have actually had a woman cheat on them.
Happened to me once, and I swear by the life in me it will never happen again.
I'm lucky I got away with what I did.
He was in the hospital for quite a while.
I informed my then wife that it was over, and I inform every subsequent girlfriend of what will happen if she cheats on me. She is taking another person's life into her own hands when she contemplates it.
Long story short, don't do it people.
You may think her boyfriend is just a tool, drug addicted scumbag, whatever...
Doesn't mean he wont kick the shit out of you when he finds out.
Here's the thing. Pining after someone who is not available is often a way to avoid rejection. While you fixate on her, with "no one else you actually like," you get to have an emotional charge without any risk. You don't have to deal with a) the uncertainty and risk of asking out someone and b) the uncertainty and risk of having an actual relationship.Griffolion said:
If you actually want to be in a relationship, you need to stop using this girl as a crutch and go out and find someone who is available.
It's easier said than done when you're like me! I can't say I'm the best catch. D:trooper6 said:
It doesn't happen to me often, because being single is one of my criterion for attractiveness. I dont find girls who are already in a relationship to be nearly as attractive because the only two places I could see it going, nowhere, or to leaving.cheating on her original partner, are two places that would make me find her heavily unattractive to anyway.
This makes your crush on the unattainable girl even more of a crutch. So here's what I have to say:Griffolion said:
1) You are probably more of a catch than you think you are. There are options for romance for everyone.
2) Take a self-assessment and decide what things under your control will make you a better catch, and do those things.
3) Confidence is attractive. Get more confident.
Here's a story. I was in the Army this one time and buddy of mine came to me and complained about how women would never date him because a) they only liked jerks and b) they only liked rich guys with great bodies.
I looked at him as asked, "When you go out to bars to hit on women are you dressed like you are right now?"
He said, "Yeah."
I said, "That's your problem."
Guy would to out to the bar in a ratty metal T-shirt and baseball cap, shorts and sneakers, scruffy. Just looking like a dude hanging out on a Sunday. I pointed out that the girls in the bar would get dressed up and put on make-up and try to look attractive, and they do like the same. So I said, "Shave, don't wear the hat, put on a button down shirt and a belt, wear shoes not sneakers." He got a girlfriend shortly afterwards.
If you don't think you are the best catch, make yourself the best catch.
If you aren't good with yourself other people aren't going to be either...well, except those people who like dating insecure people. And you don't want to date those people.
I'm in a similar situation myself except that my friend's boyfriend isn't really a friend of mine. I still don't want to break them up though. They might break up on their own though. They were very close about a month ago. I'll just wait and see like I've always have. I've fancied her for a long time but she's always had a boyfriend in one form or another. So I've never really been able to get my foot in the door so to speak.
You are correct sir. I am trying to morally guide people.bringer of illumination said:
And in no way am I gloating.
I didn't enjoy doing any of it. I didn't enjoy the outcome. I in fact hated the entire fucking situation, and the woman who put me in it.
The situation caught me off guard, and a normally calm, relaxed person did something that was wrong. I'm sorry I did it, and I'm doing my best to reign this sort of thing in, but judging by my past, who am I to say that it won't happen again if presented with the same situation?
I'm just giving fair warning.
And here, I'm trying to help people who seem to not be taking the full situation into account.
Haha well i can't say i dress like your friend! I think my sense of style tends to be very good, i think my confidence in who i am tends to be the downfall. It seems all girls go for are musicians, photographers, models or graphic designers these days and i'm none of those...trooper6 said:
well, in all fairness this happened to me, and it actually worked well. except the relationship she was in was awful, i mean like, dire. so went out with her a couple of times (knew her for a couple of years from work, but just as friends) and then we got talking, and i helped convince her that she should finally put an end to her relationship.
move forward another week, i sleep over and finally ask her out. still going strong 4 months later, haven't been happier ^^
my advice, don't force her into anything, let her make up her mind. but let her know that you are rather keen on her, so she can make a fully informed decision xD
move forward another week, i sleep over and finally ask her out. still going strong 4 months later, haven't been happier ^^
my advice, don't force her into anything, let her make up her mind. but let her know that you are rather keen on her, so she can make a fully informed decision xD
You don't have to be a musician, photographer, or whatever. You have to be an interesting guy with hygiene and very basic social skills--and who has the confidence to put themselves out there and talk to and ask out people.Griffolion said:
If you've ever seen the questionable reality show "The Pick-Up Artist"--the main thing these guys who can never get a date had to learn? Confidence and the ability to walk up to a woman, say hello, and make small talk.
Other guys are NOT better than you, they are just more confident. Work on that.
Oh trooper6, you and your adequate social adjustment, LMAO, i keed i keed. But thanks for the advicetrooper6 said:
.
There's a hundred different people here telling you to shut up and take it like a man.Griffolion said:
Sadly, you wont do that. Why? Because men are genetically programmed to try to get with girls no matter how low the odds of success are. It makes it more likely that we'll breed and spread our genes.
On the reverse side, women are programmed to be pickier so that they find a suitable father for their brood of babies.
This is just how we are. Even if we have no intention of having children it's still part of our make up. That's why, no matter how liberated women get our how safe sex gets women will never, as a whole, want to run around sexing as much as guys do.
Sure you may resist it at first but eventually you'll give in, it'll ruin your relationship with both your friend and his girl, and you'll find yourself sitting in your bathtub rocking back and forth wondering why you were such an idiot.
Welcome to being a male.