Well that date was weird...

[Kyr Knightbane]

I have had a few.

The most notable one would have to be this girl i was dating in high school. We were pretty serious and it was getting toward the end of my senior year and she was going schizo about Prom. I asked her and she said yes. So being a working guy (Having a job at 17 working 12 hour shifts graves) I paid for everything because i had a bit of disposable income.

She shows up and asks if she and her 'friend' (a gentleman i haven't met before and knew nothing about) could use my bathroom to get ready.

Of course i say "you can, he cannot, as i don't know him"

She responds with random anger and storms into the bathroom, after trying to stealthily grope him, not realizing from that angle i missed... NOTHING. He sits on my couch and glares at me for the entire time, whipping a butterfly knife in and out, trying to intimidate while i sat in my chair, doing nothing really. (Besides texting my best friend, and requesting him to get over to my house)

She returns, 'ready' for prom. Picture this if you will:

I spent probably 200 bucks on her dress and shoes and accessories. It was a rental but i paid for the insurance and whatnot. She picked out the dress and everything and i merely paid for it.

Instead of using the hair straightener on her hair, she decided to burn holes in said dress. She had shredded the wonderfully crafted lower part til it looked like a cyberpunk fairy from a 90's cartoon show would wear.

She then rips the dress off, tells me i'm a selfish asshole, gives the random guy the sloppiest, most oddly sexual kiss right on my couch and they laugh and leave.

(I was able to return the dress and after apologizing profusely and telling the guy i'd pay full damages, he didn't charge me full price {400 extra dollars}. I managed to only have to pay an extra 100)

So yeah, my net profit for that 'date' was a ripped up dress, a trashed bathroom and a rather psychotic ex girlfriend, who i STILL, don't have any idea how i managed that one.

My buddy showed up, and we went bowling instead. He was such an awesome bro, he had a tux left over from a wedding and since i was mostly gussied up, we went bowling in tux's and ties. Probably the most fun I've had bowling ever.

Dude...That is brutal...you should have been sent home with a purple heart.

Nah, it should have been a

*Puts on glasses*

Medal of Honor

*Dies due to stupid pun*

 

[Kyr Knightbane]

Oh my GOD that's weird. That guy's stalker material. If you know any rednecks, take refuge with them so they can fend him off if he comes back.

I've never had a girlfriend as such, but I did have a very good friends-with-benefits thing going on for a while. Then we peaceably parted ways because she found a guy she was actually interested in. Then we started up again. Then we stopped because we're terrible at keeping secrets and it became incredibly awkward in the dorm. It finally crashed and burned when someone asked "Hey, uh...are you guys fucking?" She got up and left, and the resulting text conversation read like a Greek tragedy written by a schizophrenic.

And Thusly it was written:

Txt 1: So yeah, i think we're done with this.

Txt 2:
Verily we didst part ways. Though i didst cleave betwixt thine thighs, yea, my spirit no longer be with you. Whenst didst thou decideth we shouldns't bone?

Txt 3:
Rightst Noweth.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

unfortunately for me I AM THE WEIRD AWKWARD DATE. If you go on a date with me i guarantee that it will be filled with long awkward silences mixed with me avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Wanna date me? We can avoid eye contact together and get matching sunglasses so we can make even less eye contact!

SUNGLASSES why didnt i think of that!

captcha: Pepper pots ... i fucking wish

Because its so simple! The solution has been stealthily avoiding your eye contact for years! But now you know

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

 

[BishopofAges]

Of the year's I've had, girlfriends are few and really good peeps (still friends after) nothing really stuck for me. However, I was a pawn in another person's love game, unknowingly mind you.

I was standing around after class in high school one day, I had been chatting with the few people who bothered to give a 'hello' to me. One girl I knew had walked up to me, asked me away from my conversation with a buddy, and held onto my arm after turning us both around. Another boy walked in talking to her in a tone I can only describe as 'excited and frustrated' about 'the next date' so I guess she went on at least one with him.

She proclaimed that she wasn't interested in him, but instead wanted someone more like me (at the time about six feet tall and stocky because I took weight training in lieu of team sports) Needless to say I was caught off-guard by the proclamation and had a delayed reaction that left me with a vacant expression. Afterward he left, she told me thanks and walked away, leaving me to turn to my friend and ask "What just happened?"

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I wish I had some dating stories.

Oh, people have already made that joke.

Okay, then.

 

[Slayer_2]

That sounds like a perfect date.

I once went on a date with a girl where we went to watch "Vampires Suck". She was a hardcore Twilight fan and not impressed. Not strange, but a bit awkward, since I laughed pretty hard at some parts.

 

[Dingoman013]

Went on a date to meet a girls parents, turns out her dad was an ex-navy seal that was honorably discharged because he got so many purple hearts or something. It was a tough break up............
And very Scary

 

[Guffe]

Well this is something you're going to laugh about in a few months or years or whenever he stopps harrassing you.
As for you, you seem like a really cool chick , taking it pretty positively and being all no-no to all his money and stuff, althou I'd never take a chick to a gym, that's in my own house and livingroom, being grunted up by my friends for a first date...

Well captcha wants to know: plus or minus?
I think you're going for the minus aren't you?

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Hey, there's nothing wrong with random dudes! I've met some quirky random ladies that way.

Like the one that wanted to go to a strip club and play with my hair.

Your own damn fault for having such faaabulous hair.
And really, what better place is there for a first date, than a strip club?

Or the one that stuck her tongue down my throat after I said hello.

What a responsible woman, making sure to check your tonsils, thus ensuring that your immune-system is in good working order, thereby validating you as a partner.

Or the one that couldn't talk about anything else besides her life changing and financially bankrupting trip to Thailand.

After she spent all her money on it, she might as well talk about it.

Or the one who preferred communication via text... even in person.

Lool, I cu. w8 who wuldn't luv to txt al ze tiem?LUvUUUUU<3

Or the one who invited me to be more friendly, but then chastised me for becoming more friendly.

Well, how dare you being too friendly after being not friendly enough?
Can't you just walk the incredibly thin line?

As my old roommate told me...

The one who's ex boyfriend followed them on their date.

Oh, so we already met in real life?

The one who wanted to have his babies after their first date.

Ok, that's just crazy.
You wait for at least the 3rd date before asking someone to have babies with you.

Silver lining; now you have a great story to share with your next date.

Yeaaaahh, maybe that's not such a hot idea.

"You know, there is this incredibly rich, muscular, tall guy completely obsessing over me. He has proven himself to be unscrupulous, unbalanced and possibly violent. Anyway, wanna get coffee?"
Can't see that going wrong....

 

[BeerTent]

Your first mistake was agreeing to go on a date with a customer while you were working.

Your second mistake was not running like a bat out of hell when he offered to buy matching bathrobes.

Also, the Hue-Manatee's pickup line would work with me. Although, I'd assume it's a hilarious joke and beefy-tits didn't exist.

 

[dangoball]

I would run away at the mention of matching bathing robes if I were you And for what reason, pray tell, did you actually go to his house? You might as well post this in one of those "did you attempt suicide" threads

As for me? No fun stories here, because I'm expert at getting myself friendzoned

 

[Kefo]

yeah your first date with that guy sounds creepy as hell. If he doesnt get the hint that you are not interested might i suggest a pair of hedge clippers aimed at his testicles while you explain the finer points on remaining "a man".

My weirdest "date" was years back. I'm a shy guy in person so naturally I turned to lavalife to meet some people and chat. Started talking to this nice girl online and we decide to talk on the phone. I call her up and everything is going well until we get to the topic of religion. I'm agnostic and she happens to be rather christian. She doesnt want to convert me but tells me that for our first date she wants me to get her pregnant so that we can live together and have as many babies as god wants.

Not sure if I have ever hung up the phone that quickly before.

Luckily though lavalife did work out and I met my wife on there. Similar interests but she is 5'0" and I am 6'2" so it is funny to see us walking anywhere together.

 

[Grampy_bone]

Ladies this is why you never let a guy pick you up for a first date. Always drive separate and meet him at the bar/restaurant/whatever. Get a ride from a friend or take the bus if you have to. If he protests, bail. He's a scumbag and not worth it.

 

[Starik20X6]

Spoiler: Well, there was this one girl... Fair warning, this story gets pretty dark.

I met her when I was at work. We had a bit of a chat, she bought a poster and then she left. A couple of days later a friend request arrived via Facebook. The weird thing is, I don't remember telling her my name... Turns out she looked at the receipt and saw my name printed at the bottom. A little stalkerish, but she was cute and I was single so I didn't mind so much.

We really seemed to hit it off, texting back and forth. Turned out we had a fair bit in common. There was also plenty of heavy flirting- she even sent me a picture of her in her underwear, before we'd been on any kind of date.

So we organise an actual date. Just to the movies, nothing major. We meet up and she seems... cold. Distant. She said she was just tired, so I let it go. Then it's back to texting like it was before. Less than subtle indications of attraction and such. So, we organise to hang again... And that's where things started to unravel pretty fast.

We were sitting down having lunch, casually chatting when a person in a wheelchair goes past. She proceeds to point and laugh. To say I was stunned is putting it lightly. Surely I've misinterpreted something here. Surely she's not actually poking fun at a disabled person. So, dazed but managing to convince myself I hadn't seen what I thought I saw, we continued on. As we're driving back to my place, she casually mentions that "you know, I think Hitler was just misunderstood". I am not making this up. Now I'm in this surreal mental state of "ohmygodwhatthefuckhaveIgottenmyselfinto". Then, when at my place, she proceeds to act cold and aloof as before, and on the way home she tells me she fancies my brother and asks for his number. There was no third date.

 

[darthmj94]

I have really only had one or two dates, and the experience shows my luck with women. We were both kind of the quiet, loner type, so neither of us said much, but we were both comfortable with that, when you get two "good listeners" in a room, they both end up listening very well, but not much talking is done. Anyway after a few dates where she claims to of had a "great time" on both I call her up at night to talk to her, where she says she is moving away and did not find out about it until a day after our second date. It is a shame I actually kind of liked her, but nothing I could change.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Well...the strangest date I've ever had was strange because it was unexpected.

I mean, who the fuck puts dates in fried rice? I don't even like them at the best of times.

 

[Ti0k0]

Congratulations! You've dated Brucie from GTA IV!
On a side note; any man who likes Uggs should be shot. several times, in the toes.

 

[Jenvas1306]

Umm well, I'd usually keep that one for myself. Dating has allways been difficult for me, not cause of lack of interesst in me, its more the fact that I have to tell a guy, if I really like him, a detail about me. Which is that im genetically not female, I'm TG.
Reactions to that were fairly mixed, but not really horrible, for most its just 'not a thing for them'.
First guy with whom it went further after that, told me after we were out for dinner (very classic) that he actually finds that exciting and that he is sad I had 'that surgery', and that getting a girl and a guy in one person as a partner would be great... I lost interesst in that very second.
The second... well it didnt work out with us, cause he had no spine and I'm only into vertebrates. He talked to his parents a lot about me, and they didnt like him having a gf anyways, but after he told them about me being TG, his father called me and threatened to skin me if I would meet him again and further try to turn him gay...

I kinda gave up dating after that, which wasnt long before I met my BF, with whom im very happy now.

 

[WolfThomas]

I kinda gave up dating after that, which wasnt long before I met my BF, with whom im very happy now.

Isn't that always the case? I meet my long term partner after deciding to buckle down and focus on my career.