You sound really clingy. That is the worst quality someone can have IMO. You should have gone your own way a long time ago.
What do you boys and girls think of my decision? (love related)
- Thread starter Ushiromiya Battler
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I read the rest of your post to see if I missed any important points that would make me have "no right to say what I am currently saying". The rest of the post, which was 3 more sentences I might add, was basically you saying "well yep, that's about it. I'm sad, what do you guys think about my rant?" No new knowledge was gained relating to my post.
You simply disagree with my argument by saying "no". Now, I'm not you, but I am me. Any from MY perspective it looks like you are whining about a girl you "fell in love" with at about 15 years of age. 2 years ago right? Someone mentioned you were 17.
15 year old in love, seeing future with a girl. I'd like you to know that MANY people dream upon this sort of situation with their early relationships, so don't try to make it seem like you're special and your situation is the most dramatic love story in the world.
And yes, I understand she went and cried her problems to you. The problem is that you willingly stood by there when you should not have. You were not the friend for the situation. You were the horny teenager hoping to catch a rebound, and did this by playing up the nice guy friend act. You were "madly in love", of course you wanted a rebound, so don't say otherwise.
You claim this isn't a burden. How is it that her dating a guy who you HATE and that has taken time out of his daily life you assault you due to your long hair NOT a burden? How is it that daily fights and "silent treatments" for weeks/months NOT a burden? Especially if you're, once again, "madly in love with that". That has to be one of the biggest burdens ever; having the one you are madly in love with not talk to you.
I see this as an obsessive crush developing into an unhealthy lust for a girl that is showing you more attention than others. I see you both as the victim and the problem. You're there taking in her problems, trying to be the Hero Gotham Deserves, when really you're doing no one any good. You're causing problems for yourself. You're causing problems for her. You're confusing a supposedly simply and healthy cycle of teenage dating. You should've told her a long time ago, instead you've forged this false relationship off of unspoken truths, causing a terribly awkward situation where YOU, one of her best friends, now has a raging one for her.
Think about it, for years she has thought of you as a friend. You grew to become a higher tier friend, one that can't be replaced. You're like a brother to her. Now you wanna bone dat' ass. Confusion. Broken friendship. Now, when she needs you the most, you aren't the same. Now she must fear of you trying to take advantage of the situation when she is most vulnerable. Insert newly formed fights. You've created an elaborate lie that has entangled her in it, with you as well.
You simply disagree with my argument by saying "no". Now, I'm not you, but I am me. Any from MY perspective it looks like you are whining about a girl you "fell in love" with at about 15 years of age. 2 years ago right? Someone mentioned you were 17.
15 year old in love, seeing future with a girl. I'd like you to know that MANY people dream upon this sort of situation with their early relationships, so don't try to make it seem like you're special and your situation is the most dramatic love story in the world.
And yes, I understand she went and cried her problems to you. The problem is that you willingly stood by there when you should not have. You were not the friend for the situation. You were the horny teenager hoping to catch a rebound, and did this by playing up the nice guy friend act. You were "madly in love", of course you wanted a rebound, so don't say otherwise.
You claim this isn't a burden. How is it that her dating a guy who you HATE and that has taken time out of his daily life you assault you due to your long hair NOT a burden? How is it that daily fights and "silent treatments" for weeks/months NOT a burden? Especially if you're, once again, "madly in love with that". That has to be one of the biggest burdens ever; having the one you are madly in love with not talk to you.
I see this as an obsessive crush developing into an unhealthy lust for a girl that is showing you more attention than others. I see you both as the victim and the problem. You're there taking in her problems, trying to be the Hero Gotham Deserves, when really you're doing no one any good. You're causing problems for yourself. You're causing problems for her. You're confusing a supposedly simply and healthy cycle of teenage dating. You should've told her a long time ago, instead you've forged this false relationship off of unspoken truths, causing a terribly awkward situation where YOU, one of her best friends, now has a raging one for her.
Think about it, for years she has thought of you as a friend. You grew to become a higher tier friend, one that can't be replaced. You're like a brother to her. Now you wanna bone dat' ass. Confusion. Broken friendship. Now, when she needs you the most, you aren't the same. Now she must fear of you trying to take advantage of the situation when she is most vulnerable. Insert newly formed fights. You've created an elaborate lie that has entangled her in it, with you as well.
I've been used in a similar way, and I can't say you were wrong. There were different approaches, but I can't condemn you.
i agree kinda, its not the worst trait a person can have but it is pretty bad.Keepitclean said:
OT: You weren't right to do that.
Stay with her for years, someone you knew didnt care for you and yet you allow them to use you through the vain hope that she will one day "love" you.
You remind of my brother. He would "fall in love" with any girl that showed himthe slightest bit of attention, sacraficing life and limb to please them.
He eventually found a girl that would sleep with him. She is one of THE worst people i could possibly conceieve.
She was, manipultive, insecure, ALWAYS had to be right, needy, whiny, constantly wanting pity and so fucking up herself.
She took my brother this weak person, someone like you, so malleable and eager to please and turned him against my whole family.
He now lives in a shitty flat queintesencially and at her mercy any family ties have been almost completely severed, we have no contact.
She now has complete control over him and its something i get the impression of you'd be willing to give anyone that showed you affection.
I mean you had to get DRUNK to confront her.
How pathetic.
I told you this to try to make a point dont be this person this weak person, be more than you have been these last 2 years.
Of all of the sentences in that post, these few got to me the most. You seem to think she would interpret "constantly staying at her side" as a sign of loyalty, with her being fully aware that you are "madly in love with her." If I were here, I would have interpreted that as clinginess at best and obsessive desperation at worst. I mean, I've remained friends with people who have had crushes on me before, and it worked because they moved on. They were strong and brave enough to face the possibility of someone else.Magefeanor said:
Ignoring how stalker-ish your behavior appears, you also appear to be very selfish about this. You turned your refusal to let go and live your own life into an illusion of "loyalty," completely ignoring the possibility that your constant presence and the pressure of your feelings could have been hindering her own. Reading what you've written here, your actions seem to have been motivated more by the fear of losing her than the desire to have her live the life she wants as happily as she can.
Can't you see how selfish that is? Did you ever once wonder what you could change about your behavior to make her life better? Though you felt you could be the one in life to make her happy for the rest of her life, did you ever once consider that maybe she didn't feel you were the one? Did the possibility of her being happier with another than with you ever matter to you? Love has to go both ways, and reciprocation never a thing that is guaranteed to happen, no matter how much time or "commitment" you put into it.
From what you described, she's one of the bad ones. There are people out there who enjoy jerking a person around, keeping them twisting on a line with hope to make themselves feel better. They give you a little every so often to keep you trailing, but they are entirely selfish individuals who are unworthy of any trust.
Be glad to be rid of her, well done for finally standing up for yourself, and don't look back man. She's not worth pining over, and it would be in your own best interest to completely sever any feelings for her.
Keep living, and use this experience to keep from ever being manipulated like this again by anyone.
Be glad to be rid of her, well done for finally standing up for yourself, and don't look back man. She's not worth pining over, and it would be in your own best interest to completely sever any feelings for her.
Keep living, and use this experience to keep from ever being manipulated like this again by anyone.
I'll be up frount with you I've been here before. People like her are a cancer and will infect your soul. It sucks but like an arm with gangreen cut it off or you'll lose everything. Women like her will use you tell there nothing left. NEVER GO BACK TO HER. It will only end badly for you.Magefeanor said:
Screw her bro, she used you as a rag to cry on, Forget about her and move on plenty of fishes in the sea.
If your in love with someone chances are you like them so much you would want to be their friend anyway. If someone is pretending to like someone just because they want to take advantage of the relationship thats dishonest, but I don't see whats wrong with being friends with someone you care about.ScreamingNinja said:
Dude, swear to god.Magefeanor said:
I read a teen novel like this I think...
Anyway, people like her are...Recivers and not givers. They take and take and take untill you'll have nothing left!
Song is related
You need to ask yourself something OP.. Were you REALLY her friend or were you just putting up with the bullshit because you wanted more than that? What I mean is, would you have enjoyed spending time with her even if you had convinced yourself there was no hope with her? Because if not, you are not her friend.
The reason she was angry when you finally had the balls to speak your mind (especially if you mentioned putting up with all her emotional breakups) is because she considered you a friend who she could open up to, but it turns out the only reason you are listening is to get in her pants. NOT what a man does my friend.
I don't mean to sound like an asshole, I was in the same boat, and I eventually decided to walk away from it all, and guess what, she broke up with her boyfriend and chased me. This resulted in us having a one night stand and me realising that I infact hate her. And I've never been happier than to be free of her grasp.
EDIT: forgot to mention OP you made the right choice.
The reason she was angry when you finally had the balls to speak your mind (especially if you mentioned putting up with all her emotional breakups) is because she considered you a friend who she could open up to, but it turns out the only reason you are listening is to get in her pants. NOT what a man does my friend.
I don't mean to sound like an asshole, I was in the same boat, and I eventually decided to walk away from it all, and guess what, she broke up with her boyfriend and chased me. This resulted in us having a one night stand and me realising that I infact hate her. And I've never been happier than to be free of her grasp.
EDIT: forgot to mention OP you made the right choice.
Breaking things of with her was the smartest thing you did. It's not often getting drunk helps you make better decisions.
Never be friends with a girl you have strong romantic feelings for(some physical attraction is manageable however). It will only cause you pain. The friendship is never worth it.
Never be friends with a girl you have strong romantic feelings for(some physical attraction is manageable however). It will only cause you pain. The friendship is never worth it.
I say crack open a beer and be happy you're not getting shit on anymore. You've been selling yourself out for this girl for a long time and now, you got some dignity back. She sounds mentally psychotic--even if you did get into a serious relationship with her, chances are she's would have just screwed you over.
Also, <url=http://youtu.be/3DOvq8FsiUE>this.
Also, <url=http://youtu.be/3DOvq8FsiUE>this.
