What do you boys and girls think of my decision? (love related)

[Kriptonite]

Sadly, we cannot help who we love. I am an outsider on the situation, so my first reaction is to say something to the effect of "Why did you put up with that crap fro so long?" However, I've had some similar experiences, nothing quite like yours however, from which I've been granted a rare gift: understanding. I think you've subjected yourself to a completely shitty person for quite some time. Again though, as I've said before, I'm an outsider here so I don't know her at all, only what you've shared, and you have not painted a pleasant picture sir. I'm glad to hear that you're no longer going to be a slave. I understand that you will hurt for a while, but trust me, time does help and your life should improve gradually (especially if you meet a caring girl!) I wish you the best of luck man!!

 

[Enrathi]

(Were you really picked up by your parents after a night of drinking and managed to get away with it?)

It all depends on your parents, mine were ok with me drinking in high school. I don't think they liked the idea, but they also knew most teenagers tried it at least once. I actually never did, but every time I went to a party they'd tell me that if I drank, either get a ride home with someone who didn't or call them and they'd come pick me up, no questions asked.

OT: I think you did the right thing. She obviously isn't interested in you, so there's no reason for you to torture yourself over her. Just move on with your life, you'll meet someone else eventually.

 

[Tselis]

My only question to you would be this? Why would you stay in such an abusive relationship when you can't even say that her cooking is awesome or she's an animal in bed? If there is no redeeming value in the relationship, then it is a one sided abuse-fest. As a good friend of mine once said, "Ditch the *****." Seriously, this person is not going to be a good match for you, seeing as after a year of doing things that would build trust with any sane person she still doesn't trust you. Also, that fact she she continued to some crying to you about her romantic life even know how you felt was cruel and thoughtless, oh, and petty and belittling, demeaning, and I can go on. This person is clearly not ready for the kind of commitment you are. I'm frankly shocked that this would have continued so long. Affairs of the heart make fools of us all though.

p.s. you should have gotten drunk quite awhile ago, would have done you good.

 

[Death God]

Good for you man. I mean, I'm sorry about your situation but I am glad you finally stood up and did something for yourself. She was using you WAY too long. I used to be like you and I was always having others do the standing up for me but 2 years ago, I changed that. Stood up to my bullies, voiced my opinions, ect. So don't feel bad, be proud you are finally sticking up for something.

 

[TriggerOnly]

... going to be honest here.

You said school. I instantly negate the love and put infatuation or "crush" in its place.

You sound like a weak man that likes a chick even when they would seem to be not that great a human beaning.

She sounds like a drama queen, so do you.

No offence just my take on it. Let it go move on grow from it all, and man up.

 

[KarlMonster]

Regardless of what she thought, or what her reasons might have been, her treatment of Magefeanor is pretty horrible. I can probably understand (a little) why you stuck with her, but this current situation was always going to happen some day. It sounds like the two principal people in your story are amazingly self-obsessed.

It would be hard to believe, if I had not actually lived in your country for a time.

I hope that you have better friends to fall back on, because you need to stay far away from her. She's what we call 'damaged goods' in America.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

Booze never lies. Isn't that beautiful?

OT: Her relationship with you sounds like the same relationship i have with my computer.

I like it and i wouldn't want it to be away from me for long. Sometimes it cocks up and i yell at it and go do something else, but i'll always come back to it because it helps me through the day that it's there

Though it's rude to treat a human being like that so i say fuck it and you really shouldn't have to take that kind of shit, that's not how a relationship should be. Unless you're a masochist, but i don't get that impression.

Stay strong, dude. It'll be better once you move on and find yourself a proper woman who deserves that kind of affection.

 

[Brandon237]

Damn... you are a patient man. That girl was asking for it, you should have left her ages ago, but well done.
You are free.
You can move on and forget about her, someone who relies on you for emotional support, but wouldn't trust you over some rumour is not worth half the effort.

 

[bizentine]

First: I doubt you would know "love" if it physically manifested itself and bit you in the face.

Other than that, you just kindof come across as one of those weak willed stalker-y types who girls are just too nice to completely tell off. The type of person who you literally have to break their jaw for them to get that you aren't particularly fond of them. You hear what you want to hear because you cant handle the reality of someone you think you love finding you tedious.

Hopefully, you'll grow up a bit and grow out of it.

Cheers

 

[Rawne1980]

Sounds to me like you should have grown a pair and told her to piss off a long time ago.

It's one thing to be in love but, and i'm going to be totally blunt, what you were doing is kind of creepy.

"i'll cling on in the hope that she loves me back"

 

[Astoria]

Definitely sounds like she was taking advantage of your feelings for her. Good on you for standing up to her and saying enough is enough. I only wish I'd had the guts to do it to a certain someone before they messed me around so much.

 

[Conza]

*****megasnip*****

First off, go beat the crap out of the guy she's dating, it won't win you any points with her, but god it feels good. I should know, I'm undefeated at the two high schools I went to, with 2 suspensions, you begin to love it, especially for dickwads that deserve it.

Secondly, what are you doing being 'friends' with this girl? C'mon man, everyone knows you're either friends or something else, you can't be both, when destiny's child vomitted those lyrics 'first you gota be my friend' they were talking shit, first you gotta back off.

Alright, so, you've likely stuffed yourself because you were her friend for too long, and now she's mad at you, just give up, go pursue someone else, there's no such thing as one woman, I personally plan to add many more to my reasonably sized list, I might get un/lucky depending on how you put it, and the next one is perfect, but likely I'll get through many more, and I encourage you to do the same.

Conza out.

 

[Ledan]

You did the right thing. Finally .
My question is how you could ever love a woman like that?
She treated you like shit, so she deserves nothing of your compassion, love, or attention. Leave her to her own demise, and go on with your life with someone who actually appreciates you.
Trust me, there will be someone who loves you, and who you will love. Sometimes you just have to look around a bit more, there is usually always SOMEONE who is interested.

 

[Geekiest]

There's this beautiful thing I like to call firm relationship boundaries. It has saved many a friendship for me. And I think that once you've reached the point where someone is crying on your shoulder they really ought to be laid out there.

-You both have emotional/social/physical needs. What are they?
-What do each of you expect from this relationship? What do you want from a friend in general? A girlfriend/boyfriend? etc?
-What do you like or not like about each others' answers to the above questions?
-What level friendship is appropriate and healthy after answering the above questions?
-At that level friendship, what manner of behavior is deemed appropriate by both parties?
-Repeat this questionnaire every six months to two years, or as necessary.

My friends call me a robot for this, but I have never had to blow up at someone over buried resentments. At least not since grade school. And people have gone to me time and again for a level head and mature outlook because of how healthy they perceive my relationships to be. It takes work, but getting yourself involved when you don't really know even where you stand is a messy business.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

There's not really much wrong with what you did. From your story, you should have done it ages ago, you're free now! From her perspective it might be different. But regardless, the pain and anger both of you feel now is far less than what it would be if you kept this up, so it's really the lesser of two evils.

 

[Malrock]

Lol, I've been there my friend (except the girl in my story is no where near such a B#!CH).

The first part of your story sounded so much like me it was scary lol, and by sticking with her for so long (don't worry, I understand why you did) you were simply torturing yourself.

Cut her off. You have done the correct thing! It would porbably have been better to handle it sober, but whats done it done. It will be painfull, I realize, but she is doing that to you when you are together anyway. I know those moments when the pair of you are on good terms, probably make it all seem worth while, and you so happy that your speaking etc, but it is not worth it. Cut her off and find someone that will love you back. Dates will feel akward at first as you will still have feelings for your 'friend' but will get more relaxed with time, and eventually you will see that you can be more happy with other women.

Try to put this all behind you mate, you have a life ahead of you.

 

[Smurf McSmurfington]

Kudos to you, mate.

 

[Aurgelmir]

Seeing as I'm a person afraid to speak my mind, you can say booze kindly tells my timid personality to go fu*k itself.

Best quote.. EVER!

Anyways over to your actual problem. No you are not wrong, in fact get as afar away from the girl as humanly possible, she is not good for you. Hang on I need to put on my hat for this *Puts on hobby psychology hat*

DISCLAIMER: I am being rather hyperbolic here, to make a point:

Girls don't know this about them selves, but they are addicted to attention and people taking care of them, and the more of this they can get without having to pay for it (i.e commit to anyone) the better they are off. That is sort of what you are, you are the damage sponge to her, she can talk to you about anything, and you suck it all up because you "love her" and you are "happy just to be there for her". Basically she is getting the milk for free You are giving her all the emotional "security" that she needs, so she doesn't need to get that from her douchebag boyfriend.

Thing is it is VERY important to know that girls have no idea what so ever that they do this to guys, they are just happy that they have a shoulder to cry on. And hell sometimes it is nice to be that shoulder, but know this: That will most likely never lead you to a relationship with the person.

So in a sense you are right in doing what you did, probably not good that it happened when our good friend Alcohol was in charge, him and Mr. Rage are not good to have around when you are making a rather important point:

You don't want to be her emotional crutch no longer, and if she won't be YOUR boyfriend, you don't want to be a part of her life

So get away from the girl, that way you will eventually let her go. It might not be easy, but it is what you need right now. The only persons feelings you need to care about here is your own, you have cared for her's for way to long.