What do you do when a telemarketer calls?

[Dupeo]

I pretend to have tourette's. I hope that doesn't offend anyone. Tom Mabe does this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl5uhjJFTiE

What do the rest of you do? Mess with them a little as a punishment for intruding on your life? Politely decline? Leave the phone off the hook? Hang up?

 

[New Troll]

I don't answer any phone number I don't recognize and if I notice a number calling multiple times, I place it on ignore.

 

[OctoH]

I talk shit to them. Especially if they sound relatively attractive. In which case I will flirt with them.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

I say no and hang up.

I don't even give them a chance to say "But wait!"

EDIT: My friend pretends to be a racist, misogynist, homophobe. After saying the N, F, and B words, most hang up. And never call again.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

its simple: pretend to be a telemarketer. bonus points if you say exactly what they do after them.

 

[SerpentsLairStudios]

There are multiple responses depending on who is calling. First time caller they get angry man shouting down the phone, second time they get me no speaky english man third time I put on the weirdest accent possible and mix it with the other 2. And if all that fails they phone a forth time i make them think they are calling a premium number with a rate of £15 a minute. And finally if they do not give up I go for the whole scaring them with a calm and psychotic voice. Basically i try to scare them then piss them off then scare them again.

I do have to say it can put a smile on my face that and when Jehovas Witnesses come round and I say "Sorry I only prey to the real lord, the dark lord hail satan."

Am I evil? teehee

No offence to anyone on here who is a jehovas witness btw It's not what you believe or even what you are trying to do its just that you come to my door every 3 days.

 

[Woodsey]

I masturbate furiously down the phone until they stop talking.

 

[redisforever]

I try to sell them my mom's old netbook. Always fun. Or I just keep them on the line, let them say their crap, while the phone is on speaker, and I do my stuff. Every once in a while, I ask them to repeat something, ask questions, and after an hour say, "Umm, well, it sounds great, but no." Then immediately hang up. Every second they are on the phone with me, is one second they aren't annoying others. I feel like a hero when I do this.

EDIT: Funny related story. A telemarketer for a newspaper tried to convince me that I was wrong when I said I get my news from the internet. She told me that it was inferior, and that I was wrong. She sounded like she was thinking I am stupid. I'm sorry, but when you tell me that I'm wrong, because of what I prefer, you are not getting my money. Whatever you're selling.

 

[Jark212]

"Were not interested thank you". Short and polite does the trick.

 

[Roxas1359]

Well usually don't answer it. However once when I answered the phone I started speaking Japanese and they hung up on me. Was quite funny actually.

 

[redisforever]

Masturbate down the phone until they stop talking.

HA! I need to try this. Hell, maybe play some porn video down the phone as well.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Where I live, you can choose whether or not you want to be bothered by telemarketers, and if they ring up someone they aren't allowed to, there will be trouble (at least in theory, never happened to anyone I know of).

People collecting money for charities are exempt from this, however.

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

I like the Jerry Seinfeld tactic:
"Hi I'm busy right now, but if you give me your home number I can call you back later"
"I'm sorry sir we can't do that..."
"I guess that's because you don't want people bothering you at home"
"Well yes..."
"Well now you know how I feel!"

That or if I'm playing games I just put the phone on speaker and start abusing the TV...

 

[No_Remainders]

I tell them that they phoned last week and I asked them to take my number off their call list, and if I receive another phone call from them I'm going to contact the relevant authorities (in Ireland, there's some company that regulates that type of company), and then they apologise profusely and hang up.

 

[Camaranth]

Normally just say not interested k thanks bye. other times I hear them out counting the times I say No then throw in a now you are harassing me at 4

If they give me material I'll make a joke or make them really uncomfortable; eg calling for a newspaper subscription I can't read, want to clean my ducks I just put them in the bath (she said ducts but I pretended to mishear then did a little speech about them BSing and needing to fact check because I lived in an apartment complex at the time)

I do have to say it can put a smile on my face that and when Jehovas Witnesses come round and I say "Sorry I only prey to the real lord, the dark lord hail satan."

Am I evil? teehee

No offence to anyone on here who is a jehovas witness btw It's not what you believe or even what you are trying to do its just that you come to my door every 3 days.

I'll have to remember this one, I once saw them coming up the street so completely gothed up, white face, dark lipstick and eyes long black coat, upside down cross etc scarred the crap outta the two girls didn't feel the least bit guilty as the same people had stopped me three times already that week and they haven't knocked at my door since.

Also I have no personal issues with anyone and their faith just don't bug me four times a week with it

 

[Twilight.falls]

I like the Jerry Seinfeld tactic:
"Hi I'm busy right now, but if you give me your home number I can call you back later"
"I'm sorry sir we can't do that..."
"I guess that's because you don't want people bothering you at home"
"Well yes..."
"Well now you know how I feel!"

That or if I'm playing games I just put the phone on speaker and start abusing the TV...

That, is actually a rather ingenious method of dealing with them.

I'm going to use that next time one calls.

 

[Tiger Sora]

Tell them they're our 10000 caller and have just won the Spanish National Lottery. Than hang up and have a good laugh.

 

[vxicepickxv]

Sell them something. Anything. If they buy it, then you win.

 

[Epicspoon]

say "yes" to EVERYTHING including "okay can I get your credit card number?" and "what is your credit card number?"