What do you think the above users deepest darkest secrets are?

[UltraDeth]

Hasn't finished a single game in his life.

 

[UltraDeth]

Doesn't know how to use soap.

 

[UltraDeth]

Is right proper drunken.

 

[UltraDeth]

Talks about injuries at the dinner table.

 

[UltraDeth]

Was so drunk he had a heated argument with a bicycle.

 

[Barbas]

Accidentally swallowed his own soul, somehow.

 

[UltraDeth]

Talks with his mouth full over the phone.

 

[UltraDeth]

All his pals are French.

 

[Barbas]

Can't make garlic bread.

 

[UltraDeth]

Nuked his goldfish bowl.

 

[Barbas]

Shat himself in a hot air balloon.

 

[UltraDeth]

Shaves his erogenous zone.

 

[UltraDeth]

Drank a keg of vodka in one gulp.