What do you think the above users deepest darkest secrets are?

[Best of the 3]

Steals my cake in my sleep.

 

[Dango]

Steals the presidency in Obama's sleep.

 

[Best of the 3]

Believes it would be better if I did anyway.

 

[Dango]

Is constantly being haunted by a ghost made of chocolate.

 

[Best of the 3]

Neglects Starfish with limbs missing.

 

[Dango]

Only eats quintuple layered cake.

 

[Best of the 3]

Uses words like quinturple. It's straining my simple mind :/

 

[Dango]

Is fluent in Elvish.

 

[Best of the 3]

I wish, that sounds kind of cool, and sad at the same time.

Forces small children to make him cake.

 

[Dango]

Forces cake to make him small children.

 

[Best of the 3]

Because he has obviously spent too much time on the In Soviet Russia thread.

 

[Dango]

Is in the wrong thread.

 

[Best of the 3]

Hmmm, So I was.

Analyses people's thread movements to understand how people think.

 

[Dango]

Is bread.

 

[Best of the 3]

Likes to eat salads at a butchers shop.

 

[Dango]

Likes to eat butchers at a salad shop.

 

[Best of the 3]

Likes to eat salad shops for butchers.

 

[Dango]

Likes to eat money.

 

[Best of the 3]

Likes to collect the money that I crap out.

 

[Dango]

Has hips that don't lie.