What do you think the above users deepest darkest secrets are?

[Barbas]

Ain't really a space marshal.

 

[UltraDeth]

Got stuck in the chimney again.

 

[Barbas]

Melted all his change down into a giant ball.

 

[UltraDeth]

Named all his servants "Jordan"

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

hurt himself sleeping.

 

[UltraDeth]

Practised making out with himself.

 

[Barbas]

Accidentally nuked Minnesota, but nobody really cared.

 

[UltraDeth]

Drop his "cargo" when she accepted his proposal.

 

[Barbas]

Tainted the town's supply of Fancy Lad Snack Cakes.

 

[UltraDeth]

Has incredible taste in cufflinks.

 

[Barbas]

His only weakness is cherry pie.

 

[UltraDeth]

Moved out to Langley recently, with a plain and simple dream...

 

[Barbas]

Blew all his premium currency on stickers.

 

[UltraDeth]

Missed the goal at point blank range.

 

[Barbas]

Reached the rank of Landsknecht before being bested by an apprentice hedge wizard.

 

[UltraDeth]

Still hasn't levelled up to level 2.

 

[Barbas]

Is sitting in the same gazpacho he spilled three days ago, and he can't get up.

 

[UltraDeth]

Held a private blumpkin in the Church toilets.

 

[Barbas]

Rick-rolls funerals.

 

[UltraDeth]

Kissed one of his cows.