What does becoming an adult mean?

[Sccye]

Mooncalf gives some good advice.

Each person matures and grows at their own pace - so essentially being an adult is a question of character rather than being a certain age. Adulthood seems to be mostly a focus on responsibility and an understanding of the social contract in which you now fully partake - you're legally and economically culpable for yourself in technical terms.

If I could distil my experience of adulthood into a single aphorism, it's that you're only really an adult when you stop asking whether or not you're an adult yet. By virtue of that, it's not something that you can force - attempting to 'be an adult' is only to wear a mask. By virtue of that, you probably know a fair few 30-somethings that are still children and a few teenagers that are adults.

 

[DiaSol]

damn u people ull never get rid of us MwahahahahahHA,
but seriously u wont
...unless you kill me...but you wouldn't hurt a teenager would you...

My genetically altered strain of the 2005 Angolan Marburg Virus is almost ready for release. If your still growing, your doomed.

oh god no, not the... (whats the line again, oh yes thanks) not the genetically altered strain of the 2005 Angolan Marburg Virus (dun dun DUUUUUUN)

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

Well if you go by Rudyard Kipling's poem "If" then all of us are still little boys and we will never be men, but imho becoming an adult is mostly about taking on responsibilities and looking after yourself instead of having your parents take care of the stuff you don't want to do.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

[quote

 

[beddo]

Ok this'll be a bit vague for non-Europeans I guess but bear with me, the principle should be the same everywhere.

So I'm turning 18 this saturday, which in the Netherlands means you'll be a legal adult (I say legal because some things a 'legal' adult has the right to do have already been done by me and I know some things a 'legal' adult is expected to do will never be done by me).
But yeah everyone around here always says it's something momentous; you get to vote, get money from the government, get to drive a car, get to drink strong alcoholic beverages etc...
Truth is I don't really feel anything when I think about this stuff. I mean I'm not big on politics, strong alcohol, well, yeah uhm... just read the part between brackets for that. And all I can think of when I think about driver's ed is whether or not I'll ever get the hang of a stick shift.
I know this part of life comes with a lot of responsibilities as well but I can't really get a grasp on how that's going to turn out for me just yet. Maybe I have no sense of perspective or something.

So what I was wondering is did any of you feel different when you became 'adults', and what does becoming an adult mean to you? Try not to say legal sex too often, I'm actually looking for serious views from different people on this part of life, and especially your own perceptions.

As you go past 18 you learn a lot of things, you realise that you are often naive. Listen to advice from people but always make sure you take it with a pinch of salt.

My best advice, don't drive like an idiot, you are far from invincible!

Also, try to be empathetic to people. Stick to your principles and always be a person of honour.

Don't worry about not having a partner, sooner or later someone will come along. Family matters, be nice to your parents, you never know how long they'll be around for.

 

[DiaSol]

oh god no, not the... (whats the line again, oh yes thanks) not the genetically altered strain of the 2005 Angolan Marburg Virus (dun dun DUUUUUUN)

Yeah. 90% mortality rate, suck on that Ebola!

But seriously, go back and read my edit, I may have my 10 gallon asshat on at the moment, but time really does fly as you get older, make use of it before it's gone.

yeah i do realize that the teen years are the best, but its a sad cycle that when you are a kid you want to be an adult, and when your an adult you want to go back to those golden, jewel encrusted years of youth...so right now i am just trying to have a good time.

and thats what being an adult/teenager/pensioner is all about having a good time while you are still alive

 

[FireFly90]

Im not quite 18 yet (only 2 months away). But im most dreading the bills and tax.

And while adulthood has plenty of freedoms theres still alot of stuff you can't do untill you've filled out lots of forms and stuff. Modern life has too much paperwork.

 

[Felgy76]

To me, becoming an adult has nothing to do with age. It's about attitude.
I don't believe in the Bible, but Corinthians 13:11 does paraphrase it quite nicely.

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways."

I don't take this to mean you stop playing video games, or collecting toys, or just generally having fun. It means you stop thinking the whole world revolves around you, start taking responsibility, accepting consequences, seizing control of your own life.
And always remember, growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

 

[Molikroth]

So basically, Felgy, you feel anyone who doesn't think the same way as you is a child?

I avoid responsibility all I can. I don't like being tied down to things. The world does revolve around me in every way that matters: anything that happens outside my areas of interest is irrelevant. I am unemployed and on government handouts, by choice - I prefer sitting on my ass to anything else, and if some bleeding heart hippies are going to enable me who am I to turn them down?

I dislike that way of thinking: becoming an adult does not require becoming like most adults.

 

[Felgy76]

Wow. What can I say Molikroth?
Other than you totally misunderstood my post.

You are clearly an adult to me. You made your choice, and accepted the consequences, IE: you have to live on a strictly limited income.
We must have different definitions of responsibility, because you sound like a responsible person to me, you aren't trying to shift the blame to anyone else for your situation.
Being responsible doesn't just mean working 9-5, paying your bills on time, supporting a family and being a conscientious voter. I define it as accepting the consequences of your choices and actions.

As for the world revolving around you, we have a different view there as well.
As you said, "The world does revolve around me in every way that matters: anything that happens outside my areas of interest is irrelevant." Your statement defines the world into two areas, your interests and everything else. To my mind that means that your world revolves around you (as does everyones), but you acknowledge that there's another world around yours that has nothing to do with you.
Children don't make that distinction.

You and I are different people. We have different wants, we go about our lives in different ways, and we have different ways of viewing the world around us. My previous post was about how I define someone as being either adult or child, and I do so on a case-by-case basis. I have known a 14 year old boy that was as much an adult as his 56 year old father, and I have known a 32 year old man that was more of a child than my 6 year old nephew.

I agree with you Molikroth, becoming an adult does not require becoming like most adults. But it does require that we stop being children.

 

[Molikroth]

Ah. I assumed you were one of those guys who confuse "irresponsibility" with "Not voting/recycling/accepting responsibility for things I consider important".

Thanks for clearing it up. In general then, I agree. Once you can understand that actions have consequences, follow a specific action and accept responsibility for your choice (as in, not blaming others/the universe), you've grown up some.