What if Videogame Characters could use FML...
- Thread starter Misho-
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I all but broke the treasury to welcome my son home after an expedition to the frozen north and what does he do? Shank me in my own throne room with that big f**king sword of his! FML!
Lordaeron_Forever
Lordaeron_Forever
"So this old guy has this wife right? only thing is she's dead. Also it's the anaversery of her death or something. Anyway this old guy tells me that his wife liked this flower. The thing is, the flower is only found in this one place, and gnowls live there now. So he asks me to go and get the flower for him.
Now between you and me, I've killed a couple gnowls here and there so i'm kinda this guru of gnowl killing. The thing is that I've only ever gone and slaughtered them in their home when i thought that if i didn't do that then they would come here and fuck our shit up. So i'm not exactly well liked over there.
But whatever, i go and kill a bunch of gnowls so that this old guy can sleep at night knowing that his dead wife knows that he paid some mercenary to make a few widows so that the old guy could give her flowers. Ain't he sweet? Oh yeah, turns out that one of the gnowls had already picked some flowers, so i just took them off his corpse (should i have mentioned that?).
Anyway i bring the flowers to the old guy and he tells me that he needs something else. You see, it's a long trip to the graveyard and the flowers will wilt on the trip there. Now he can't just go and present his wife with a bunch of wilted, blood satined flowers *apparently the blood stains didn't matter though*. Nope, I've gotta go take this ship to this frozen mountain and wander through these ice caves until i find this thunder ice or some shit like that because this old guy has never heard of this magical stuff i call water that keeps flowers from wilting.
Oh yeah, bonus round, Kolbold live in these caves and I've fucked their shit up in the past as well so it looks like i'll be killing more dudes for this guys dead wife.
Anyway i'm off to kill people and do anything that resembles work for this old guy so that he can show his wife how much he still cares (i guess). But hey! it's the thought that counts right?" FML
TheHumanBlender
"Oh yeah, i got a bit side tracked, went to a bar, met a few widows (don't judge me). Anyway it took me a while to get the magic ice so those flowers are wilted now. Looks like someone should have planned ahead." FML
TheHumanBlender
I'm curious, anyone have any idea which game i'm referring to?
Now between you and me, I've killed a couple gnowls here and there so i'm kinda this guru of gnowl killing. The thing is that I've only ever gone and slaughtered them in their home when i thought that if i didn't do that then they would come here and fuck our shit up. So i'm not exactly well liked over there.
But whatever, i go and kill a bunch of gnowls so that this old guy can sleep at night knowing that his dead wife knows that he paid some mercenary to make a few widows so that the old guy could give her flowers. Ain't he sweet? Oh yeah, turns out that one of the gnowls had already picked some flowers, so i just took them off his corpse (should i have mentioned that?).
Anyway i bring the flowers to the old guy and he tells me that he needs something else. You see, it's a long trip to the graveyard and the flowers will wilt on the trip there. Now he can't just go and present his wife with a bunch of wilted, blood satined flowers *apparently the blood stains didn't matter though*. Nope, I've gotta go take this ship to this frozen mountain and wander through these ice caves until i find this thunder ice or some shit like that because this old guy has never heard of this magical stuff i call water that keeps flowers from wilting.
Oh yeah, bonus round, Kolbold live in these caves and I've fucked their shit up in the past as well so it looks like i'll be killing more dudes for this guys dead wife.
Anyway i'm off to kill people and do anything that resembles work for this old guy so that he can show his wife how much he still cares (i guess). But hey! it's the thought that counts right?" FML
TheHumanBlender
"Oh yeah, i got a bit side tracked, went to a bar, met a few widows (don't judge me). Anyway it took me a while to get the magic ice so those flowers are wilted now. Looks like someone should have planned ahead." FML
TheHumanBlender
I'm curious, anyone have any idea which game i'm referring to?
"was forced to fist my owner Benny again today with a power fist. I'd probably be able to pretend it was someone else if his voice didn't remind me so much of Chandler from Friends for some reason. FML"
Mr.hell-to-the-yes
Mr.hell-to-the-yes
"Alright so: My best friend has betrayed me, my sister is dead, my army has just been totally obliterated after we thought we won. As well as this the only allies i have left are some blind pedophile, a cannibalistic mad elf, an annoying priest, a whiny eight year old brat, and some dragon who i made a deal with which stopped me talking. The worst part? I just inadvertantly caused the end of the world by killing the Empire's leader and causing, I kid you not when i say this, giant babies with teeth to come down from above and start eating everyone. We're all that's left to stop them now....compared to me, you lot have it easy. FML".
-CrazyMute1
-CrazyMute1
So I took a trip to mars to check it out, but when I got back to my ship a bunch of aliens took away my vacuum cleaner, a joystick, a car battery and my bottle of whiskey to make it run. Also found out these same aliens want to blow up the Earth. FML
~billyblaze88
~billyblaze88
"I just finished upgrading my sentry when a Spy sapped it. FML."
-Revengin3er1
"Our entire base was wiped out by some fuck with a Chinese Stealth Suit and Dart Gun. FML."
-TalMerc4hire
-Revengin3er1
"Our entire base was wiped out by some fuck with a Chinese Stealth Suit and Dart Gun. FML."
-TalMerc4hire
Got into a fight with God today. Universe exploded. Lost my arms and legs. Now waiting out in the space boonies for my GF to come pick me up. They don't even have Wi-Fi here. FML.
-Kosy72
-Kosy72
"Ah yes the council the apparent geniuses who almost died every time they doubted me before, we have already dismissed those claims...FML!!!"
ThePrize69
"So just jumped off the top of the vatican...some asshole moved the hay barrel...FML!!!"
KillerEagle
"Boss still makes us take turns hitting the "hero" instead of you know using our superior forces to attack him at once FML!!!"
Every high level monster in an RPG
ThePrize69
"So just jumped off the top of the vatican...some asshole moved the hay barrel...FML!!!"
KillerEagle
"Boss still makes us take turns hitting the "hero" instead of you know using our superior forces to attack him at once FML!!!"
Every high level monster in an RPG
"Blew up megaton and now i am being hunted by those regulators and now i just heard that my dad is in another castl....i mean destroyed place FML"
The lone wonderer
The lone wonderer
Today, I just had sex with the cold animated corpse of someone I thought was a killer. It was the best sex I've had in years. FML
--ChillyInNYC
--ChillyInNYC
"I have to climb a tower that is over 250 floors high, and flooded with monsters no less, to fight the GOD OF DEATH and save the world AND no-one will even now i done it.FML.
- world arcana
- world arcana