What if we started using the statistical excuse of why not to get married on going to college

[Epona]

College will get you money in the end (Probably) marriage wont. (At least if your a dude)

Maybe, but speaking as a married man, marriage is the best. It is sad that so many people are keeping themselves from that happiness because they are unwilling to take the risk that it might go bad.

If you ever get divorced and lose everything while enjoying the privilege of paying her child support and/or alimony, you may sing a different tune. Marriage holds very little for men and many men agree once they've seen the other side of the coin, divorce. Of course, these days young men see it happen all around them and don't need to find out first hand. Apparently there is a Marriage Strike going on too.


As for college, alot of people drive themselves into debt right out of high school and then end up working for McDonalds trying to pay back that debt. That's the best reason to avoid college, teachers should not encourage everyone to go to college.

All I am arguing is that by my own personal experience, marriage holds a lot of value for men (as I am not a woman I can't make that call.) It may not be financial benefits, but the emotional benefits are great. And I agree divorce is bad and people should not rush into marriage. I have witnessed a number of divorces in my extended family, and they are never pretty. I still think it is worth the risk.

And as I have seen it, it is very rare for someone to "lose everything" in a divorce. None of the divorces in my extended family resulted in financial ruin. If you would care to point me to a reliable source on the matter, I may concede the point.

It is very common for men to lose the house, the car, the children and end up paying for the honor. If you haven't seen that for yourself, then look a little harder (it's very common). I can't show you proof that you would find credible. Your best bet is to Google it yourself, or don't if you don't want to. Look for things like the Marriage Strike as a jumping off point.

I looked up the marriage strike and I could find no real information on any of the sites I saw. I read a bunch of "men are this" and "you could lose everything!" statements, but nothing that had real evidence or pointed me to a reputable source of information on divorce and marriage statistics. It is possible that I looked in the wrong places. Can you point me to where I can find the statistics and studies on divorce settlements?

You say it is very common for men to lose the car, the house, the children and to end up paying alimony. How common? 90% of the time? 5% of the time? Do you know anyone personally? Is this in the case of a no-fault divorce or at-fault? If the man lost the house, etc. did he get the bank account? or were all the assets taken by the woman? Were assets divided 50-50 or 90-10? Can you give me a little more to work off here? All you are really saying is "trust me, I know a thing" and expecting me to change my opinion. As a happily married individual, gonna need more than that.

No I can't find you a website that shows that information. Well, I probably could but I am not going to do the legwork for you especially since what I have said is common knowledge and your refusal to see it for yourself (even after looking online) is suspect. Also, I really don't care if you believe what I say or not.

You say you looked online and found men saying the same thing I have, yet you don't believe them either. It would be a waste of time to take this any further if you won't believe what you read anyway.

You're happily married and I wish you luck that you stay that way but if you face divorce you will learn first hand all of this.

You did ask if I know anyone personally? Yes I know and have known quite a few men who have lost everything in a no fault divorce that they didn't want. I have lost everything twice myself and I will never marry again.

So believe what you have read or not, it's up to you but I won't do the legwork to prove a point that is common knowledge.

 

[Fappy]

Wasting money by dropping out of college does not always fall on the shoulders of those who made the decision. Most people in the university system in America have most of their related finances handled by their parents. Many of these people find it a lot easier to waste their parents money than they would their own.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I'm reminded of a saying that goes "You will fail at 100% of the things you don't try."
In other words, if you don't even bother to try then you will defiantly fail.

 

[Epona]

I'm reminded of a saying that goes "You will fail at 100% of the things you don't try."
In other words, if you don't even bother to try then you will defiantly fail.

Uh no, you have to try before you can fail otherwise you would be born a failure not having tried anything yet.

I have not yet flown the space shuttle but I have not failed at flying a space shuttle.

 

[StBishop]

I dropped out of Uni. I then went back. So I add to both statistics... :S

I'm reminded of a saying that goes "You will fail at 100% of the things you don't try."
In other words, if you don't even bother to try then you will defiantly fail.

Uh no, you have to try before you can fail otherwise you would be born a failure not having tried anything yet.

I have not yet flown the space shuttle but I have not failed at flying a space shuttle.

It's a saying. It means if you don't do something that you want to do, you're making a mistake. You should give yourself a chance to succeed because without an attempt you cannot succeed, therefore you have failed.

It's silly but I'm sure you understand the intent?

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I'm reminded of a saying that goes "You will fail at 100% of the things you don't try."
In other words, if you don't even bother to try then you will defiantly fail.

Uh no, you have to try before you can fail otherwise you would be born a failure not having tried anything yet.

I have not yet flown the space shuttle but I have not failed at flying a space shuttle.

You're missing the point. The point is if you're not going to bother to try because of some stupid statistic or a fear of failure, then you're already a failure.

 

[Epona]

I dropped out of Uni. I then went back. So I add to both statistics... :S

I'm reminded of a saying that goes "You will fail at 100% of the things you don't try."
In other words, if you don't even bother to try then you will defiantly fail.

Uh no, you have to try before you can fail otherwise you would be born a failure not having tried anything yet.

I have not yet flown the space shuttle but I have not failed at flying a space shuttle.

It's a saying. It means if you don't do something that you want to do, you're making a mistake. You should give yourself a chance to succeed because without an attempt you cannot succeed, therefore you have failed.

It's silly but I'm sure you understand the intent?

I always understood the intent but the saying is rubbish. A saying should make sense when analyzed especially considering a saying is designed to make people stop and think.

 

[Stall]

Speaking as a statistician, I don't even want to get into the gross misunderstanding and exploitation of my field by society as a whole. If I ever became a world leader, I would immediately force legislation that requires people to have a licensee to use Statistics.

 

[DrOswald]

No I can't find you a website that shows that information. Well, I probably could but I am not going to do the legwork for you especially since what I have said is common knowledge and your refusal to see it for yourself (even after looking online) is suspect. Also, I really don't care if you believe what I say or not.

You say you looked online and found men saying the same thing I have, yet you don't believe them either. It would be a waste of time to take this any further if you won't believe what you read anyway.

You're happily married and I wish you luck that you stay that way but if you face divorce you will learn first hand all of this.

You did ask if I know anyone personally? Yes I know and have known quite a few men who have lost everything in a no fault divorce that they didn't want. I have lost everything twice myself and I will never marry again.

So believe what you have read or not, it's up to you but I won't do the legwork to prove a point that is common knowledge.

I have learned to be very suspicious of "common knowledge." Quite often it is just misconceptions that a whole lot of people hold. In this particular case I find a lot of conflicting information, but nothing to support your position. For example, almost all sources say first marriages have a higher success rate, but no one really agrees on that rate, ranging from 30% - 45% divorce rate. Also, almost all sources said if both people are educated then the success rate is higher, but what counts as educated and just how much it effects the outcome is conflicting between sources (from 15% failure rate to 35%). Again, it appears that most divorces are handled out of court (I saw numbers ranging from 75% - 90%) and those certainly wont end with the man losing everything, because why would he volunteer to give it all up? Last of all, I literally could not find anything to back up what you are saying about men losing everything being very common in divorce. By the looks of it, it can't really happen in more than 20% of divorces (which would be almost every divorce that goes to court), and that is if we are extremely generous in favor of that point of view. That would mean marriage ends with the man losing everything at the highest 10% of the time.

I did the leg work, and I cannot find anything that would back your position. I didn't want to just assume that you were speaking from a purely anecdotal position with no real evidence. That is why I gave you a chance to defend it. You and the people you know may have been unlucky in marriage, and I am sorry for that, but until I see something a more substantial than "it's common knowledge" I have to assume you are wrong.