So, you're on your computer one night, listening to your guilty pleasure J-pop, maybe looking at some porn, and then you realize you have work in four hours, so you go to sleep.
Unfortunately, when you wake up, you find you have the body of an anteater.
Fuck.
You retain all your memories and thought, as if your meager human brain was transplanted into the anteater body. So what do you do? To first clear a few things up-
-You are now completely anteater except for your brain. That means you have all the usual anteater functions and tendencies, most notably a craving for ants.
-Having the anteater body, you are now not capable of regular speech.
-You also have no thumbs. But you do have a long tongue now. That's cool, I guess.
-No, you do not wake up with your clothes on. Whatever force transformed you was a bit chilly that night and figured you wouldn't be needing them anyway.
-You want to be a platypus instead? Eh... sure, works for me.
So, with your new anteater/platypus body, how do you adjust to the world? Do you look for a cure to your curse, if you'd rather be human? Do you amaze the world with your anteater antics? Or would the first person you see just shoot you?
Personally, I would type on a computer to communicate with whoever is closest, and convince them that anteaters are an alien species that crashed on Earth long ago and devolved into their current state, and that I was sent as an ambassador to make peace agreements with the earthlings. Instant fame, and if I ever needed to assassinate a world leader, this would give me quite an opportunity in my several meetings with the UN.
Unfortunately, when you wake up, you find you have the body of an anteater.
Fuck.
You retain all your memories and thought, as if your meager human brain was transplanted into the anteater body. So what do you do? To first clear a few things up-
-You are now completely anteater except for your brain. That means you have all the usual anteater functions and tendencies, most notably a craving for ants.
-Having the anteater body, you are now not capable of regular speech.
-You also have no thumbs. But you do have a long tongue now. That's cool, I guess.
-No, you do not wake up with your clothes on. Whatever force transformed you was a bit chilly that night and figured you wouldn't be needing them anyway.
-You want to be a platypus instead? Eh... sure, works for me.
So, with your new anteater/platypus body, how do you adjust to the world? Do you look for a cure to your curse, if you'd rather be human? Do you amaze the world with your anteater antics? Or would the first person you see just shoot you?
Personally, I would type on a computer to communicate with whoever is closest, and convince them that anteaters are an alien species that crashed on Earth long ago and devolved into their current state, and that I was sent as an ambassador to make peace agreements with the earthlings. Instant fame, and if I ever needed to assassinate a world leader, this would give me quite an opportunity in my several meetings with the UN.
