What is Love? Does it exist?

[Fawcks]

Cue endless .gif spam here.

To set this in it's proper context, I've always been a rather skeptic individual on subjects such as these. Love seems particularly odd.

I am increasingly becoming convinced that true love does not really exist. Love seems to be some emotion brewed up in our mind, likely to promote propagation of the species. It's certainly not based in "Logic"; logic dictates how I interact with my friends, but not with someone whom I feel enamored with. If I have fun with my friends, and enjoy their company, I stay. If I don't enjoy one's company, I leave. I thought love would seem the same way.

However, beyond the haze of love, you can see things more clearly. You see faults you couldn't see before, and the like. Is this what always happens? I would imagine so, it would help explain the 50%+ divorce rate, especially if you consider how many couples are undoubtebly sticking it out (For the kids/ To avoid the shame/ Can't afford divorce/ Etc).

Another hypothesis is that love is a burden imposed by society. Do you love someone, or do you say you do for the purpose of society's norms? This is especially prevalent in parenting, I find. Even an abusive parent would say they love their child if asked, but do they really? If you hated your child, could you say so? Would you say, "I love you" to a relative you can't stand, just because they're related to you by blood?

It's perplexing because I see so many young couples that seem to be in love. In fact, many people marry, and decide "I want to spend my life with this person". What would drive them to do so? Don't people act out of their own best interest? It's entirely possible that you enjoy that person's company at the moment, but the time will come when you have to sacrifice something for them, or they become an inconvenience to you, and you will have to decide to suffer the burden or leave. When the burdens become too cumbersome and you are no longer happy, you abandon them. It's only logical.

I'm curious what other people think. Is there such a thing as true love? Or is it merely a thing our mind does to trick us in order to propagate the species, or is it a societal norm that has been reinforced over time? Feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions.

 

[the rye]

As i see it and i could be wrong, love is some sort of chemical in the body that influences the person to stay with a partner. The reason for this is so when people have offspring the chances of its survival go up because there are two guardians to protect said offspring.

And no i do not believe in true love.

 

[Lilani]

I think it's rather silly to think that love doesn't exist, considering so many people have made such a hullabaloo about it for the last several thousand years of documented civilization.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

 

[Silent Biohazard Solid]

Love is an abstract concept. But we can experience emotions, and that means we can experience love.
I mean, there are different kinds of love, and if you think about all those mothers out there that can love their child NO MATTER WHAT, that's unconditional love that's got nothing to do with biology.
When it comes to love between a man and a woman, I don't believe it's possible for it to be unconditional. But still, I believe that it's possible to truly love someone, and that's all true love is. It doesn't mean it's permanent, but it's still true.

 

[kinggamecat]

Well, love is caused by chemical reactions in the brain, just as any emotion, so it does exist, but if we're gunna go with the more mysterious whimsical and less scientific way, I'd say yes it does, at least for some people, that or some people never find the true love that was meant to be, so even if ya were in love and then got a divorce there's still a high possibility that someone in the billions of human lies the one true love of their life, then again I'm in love and a relationship right now so my opinion may be skewed, anyways I can honestly say yes it does exist, especially if you believe in it, some people just never find that special someone.

Please reply to my comment anyone! ^^

 

[Shoggoth2588]

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.
Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds."

I have taken that shot and I have struck my target.

 

[Fawcks]

I think it's rather silly to think that love doesn't exist, considering so many people have made such a hullabaloo about it for the last several thousand years of documented civilization.

What kind of love? Parental love? Spousal love? Platonic love? What qualifies love? How do you differentiate "Love" from a close friend?

Everyone knows people get along better if they keep themselves at a certain distance; the closer you get, the more you learn about someone that you simply do not like.

 

[the rye]

Love is an abstract concept. But we can experience emotions, and that means we can experience love.
I mean, there are different kinds of love, and if you think about all those mothers out there that can love their child NO MATTER WHAT, that's unconditional love that's got nothing to do with biology.
When it comes to love between a man and a woman, I don't believe it's possible for it to be unconditional. But still, I believe that it's possible to truly love someone, and that's all true love is. It doesn't mean it's permanent, but it's still true.

Wait, wait, wait if emotions like love have nothing to do with biology then are you saying these emotions some how exist as a seperate substance from our physical selves.

 

[Mittens The Kitten]

"Love" is a bit of a loaded word, it means different things to different people and creating a definition to a word with so many available definitions seems like too much effort and will make too many people unsatified. It would be better just to create a new word for each of the definitions of love and that simply not use "love" in serious duscussion.

 

[BENZOOKA]

I don't agree with barely anything in the original post. But I think this video is relevant.

 

[mikev7.0]

It's strange to me that so many see and seek possesive love as the gateway to True Love when love with conditions is the exact opposite of unconditional Love.

Then again a lot of people I've talked to don't love or respect themselves yet think that they can still love someone else in that state.

So yes I believe in love, I just find it quite misunderstood.

 

[Silent Biohazard Solid]

Wait, wait, wait if emotions like love have nothing to do with biology then are you saying these emotions some how exist as a seperate substance from our physical selves.

No, I didn't mean it literaly. I just meant there's more to it than chemicals in the brain. I mean, sure technically, everything we feel is a counterpart of our brain reacting to certain chemicals being released, but I think there's more to it than that. Afterall, it's possible to like someone, be infactuated with them, and still not love them.
At the same time, it's possible to love someone who's treated you horribly. And when you think about them, you can't help but feel negative emotions, and think about what horrible things they've done to you. And still, you know you love them.
I just think there's more to it than a chemical 'attachment'. Like, a dog could be attached to its master, and could be the most loyal friend one person would have. But I still don't think it's the same, as, say, even platonic love. Where two best friends know they can depend on one another more than they can depend on their own family.

I just think that love requires a combination of what we know as well as what we feel. So if you want to associate knowledge with biology, then yes, it is all biological.

 

[Fawcks]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

I was in love, so I feel I have a slight qualification to speak about it.

I was engaged to this female I knew. We'd been together for two years. She spent her time volunteering at a nearby animal sanctuary and going to school to be a vet technician. She was going to be next in line to manage the animal sanctuary. However, her uncle, the current owner, was later found to have taken funds to be used for the animals that SHE had generated (she would make jewelery, sell it, re-buy materials, and donate the rest to the sanctuary) to buy additions to his home. The animals were behind on their shots. She lost sight of what her future would be, but she knew she couldn't stay there. So... She left. Everything. She moved from Maine to California to simply leave everything behind in her devastation.

This left me behind, as well. We kept in contact by email, but when she finally admitted she was never coming back, I was distraught. Eventually, she stopped contacting me. Until the very end she maintained that she still loved me, but it simply was not to be.

A lie. That's all it was. I felt like a fool, and still feel ashamed for buying into it so much. I honestly believed that love was real, and that I had obtained it. It was, however, all disingenuous. People are inherently incompatible. I got caught up in it, a foolish mistake. I should have known better.

 

[blankedboy]

Here's a better question.

 

[Eleima]

First things first:
Sorry, it just had to be done.


Back on topic. Yes, I believe in love, because I am in love, and have been in love most of my life. Different kinds of love, of course. Love for my parents, love for my sister, love for my cat, love for games, love for scifi and last but definitely not least, for the past 7 years, love for my husband. There are many different kinds of love, and love, most often than not, defies definition. Love doesn't necessarily have to be a complicated thing.

As for the specific brand of love you're talking about, well... The problem today is too many people confuse true love with infatuation, and that very important distinction is best explained in the undying words of Ann Landers.

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.
Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and places about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely.
It might spoil the dream.
Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says, "We must get married right away! I can't risk losing you!"
Love says, "Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.
Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.
Love is elevating. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It lifts you up.
It makes you a better person.

 

[ThatDaveDude1]

I think it's rather silly to think that love doesn't exist, considering so many people have made such a hullabaloo about it for the last several thousand years of documented civilization.

Yes, because that argument works so well for religion. Nobody questions that!

OT: Love is one of those things that's hard to define. Whether or not love exists depends on your own definition of love.

 

[Erana]

It has something to do with begging babies to not hurt them.

Really, though, we're social creatures. Love is a reward programmed into us for nurturing social ties.
I'm asexual and without a sex drive, so I don't feel lust, but I still feel a pretty full spectrum of love. I think love and lust are kind of separate, really. But sexual feelings, wanting others, being the subject of other's want... they're very powerful and overwhelming feelings, and can be both extremely positive and extremely negative. If you've got the positive of these feelings both in the want and the wanted departments compiled with a separate desire to want to make the other person happy... Well, mutual sexual desire and love compliment each other like hazelnuts and chocolate.

But that's just me. The only sexual anything I've experienced is being the object of other's desire, and while its generally a negative, I can easily imagine this potent force being absolutely wonderful if I actually wanted it. Despite not having sexual needs, I still express capacity for romantic relationships, which is why I view them as complementary, but ultimately separate things.