What is the coolest way to die?

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Hero in a half shell

It's not easy being green
Dec 30, 2009
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I know exactly how I am going to die, but first, listen to the music as you read this, its very important to set the mood, also, read it slllooowwwlllyyy.


Are you listening? Good. Then I will begin.
It is a very early, warm, and bright summer Morn in the City of London, England. The silence is almost absolute, apart from a haunting melody emitting from the Royal Festival Hall, as the London Philharmonic orchestra are practicing Bach's Air on a G-string for a concert, while the rest of the city sleeps. Suddenly the heavens are rent asunder as two Russian Migs descend from the stratosphere, disturbing the otherwise tranquil scene, they scream up the River Thames, carrying their deadly nuclear payloads to the intended target: The Houses of Parliament. However something is amiss, as flames and fire erupt from one of the Migs, its wing is sheared off and it plummmets abruptly and fatally into the murky Thames.
Screeching out of a side street appears the cause of the Migs sudden demise. An open-topped double decker London Tourbus, emblazened with Union Jacks and filled with semtex. At the wheels of this whimsical war machine is none other than Sir Sean Connery, in his suavest suit looking impecable. I am also wearing a suave suit, standing strapped to the top of bus, M-32 grenade launchers akimbo, and it was my grenades that wasted the first nefarious jet.
Connery contacts me on the walkie talkie strapped to my bandolier of spare grenades, and tells me in his distinct scottish accent that the one remaining Mig, which had already dissapeared around the next riverbend, is flying too fast for us to catch it by tracking alongside the Thames, but he knows a shortcut. We cut across many blank sidestreets and alleyways, whose very existence right now hang in the balance, to try and catch up with the Mig, who in following the path of the river, must take a far longer route.
Connery screams "Get ready! we will only have one shot at this" as he turns the final corner into a dark, narrow dead end alley that terminates at the Thames, just opposite the Houses of Parliament.
However there was a problem. Since Connery had last been down this alley a huge billboard had been placed at the end of the road, on the banks of the Thames, completely obscuring our view of the River, and far bank. Realising that we would never even see the Mig when it arrived, never mind get a shot at it, and all was lost, Connery's voice, in a saddened exhausted tone, crackled on the walkie talkie, "Well, its been a pleasure working with you, it really has, but it looks like this is the end of the road."
I am standing sideways on the bus, my head bowed in defeat, when his words give me an idea. I lift and turn my head sideways while raising one of the guns at the billboard and say, "Where were going, we don't need roads." Two grenades erupt from the gun in quick succession, and find their mark at the base of the billboard, shattering the wooden supports the billboard falls towards us, its top laying on the dusty road, while the bottom of the billboard is sitting on the wall of the Thames River, creating a ramp. Connery instantly knows what to do, he slams the accelerator, tears up the alleyway at a speed that seemed impossible in such a large vehicle, and we hit the ramp perfectly and and rocket out into the Thames, just as the Mig rounds the corner. The pilot, seeing the bus appear in his path, curses in Russian and begins to pull up. As he is about to rocket over the bus I realease the harness holding me down to the bus and grab a medieval greataxe that was embedded in the chair beside me. A running jump of the side of the double decker is all it takes to bridge the gap between me and the plane. With all my weight behjind it the greataxe smashes through the cockpit glass, cleaves the pilot and he jolts forward, sending the Mig into the bus. The semtex explodes from the collision in a collossal fireball, and all the twisted metal sinks to the bottom of the Thames, except for a side panel of the bus, depicting the union jack, fuel burns around the edges and as it sinks below the waves a small orphan child standing on Westminster bridge, the sole witness of the whole affair, gives a salute and says "God save the queen"
 

D0WNT0WN

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Sep 28, 2008
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Promptly shot by the Husbands of my multiple lovers after a World Wide Broadcast of our incredible orgy.

Im guessing about 4 to 10 men with guns to show up so I will go down like the guy who turned into Robocop.
 

wildpeaks

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
Dec 25, 2008
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PixelKing said:
SimuLord said:
Subbies said:
die choking on the bra of a young and attractive lady during your 32 honey moon at the age of 97.
hah beat that !
OK, here goes.

Me in my fifties, my 18-year-old high school senior daughter brings over one of her friends. I fuck the friend and right as I'm reaching orgasm I suffer a massive heart attack and drop dead, but not before firing the Last Shot into the girl.

She gets pregnant. Of course she's so traumatized by what happened that she keeps the baby, giving that kid one hell of a story about the grandfather he never knew.

Beat that.
Same thing but while playing a guitar.
WITH DINOSAURS.

What, every story is better with dinosaurs :)
 

FrostyChick

Little Miss Vampire.
Jul 13, 2010
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Mackheath said:
FrostyChick said:
Mackheath said:
FrostyChick said:
Mackheath said:
FrostyChick said:
Death by tea cosy.
I would come back and haunt the world if I died like that. Give me my Charle Sheen death, damnit!
But just think how monumental a cock-up you'd have to make to die like that.
Still not cool though; you'd be laughed at until Armageddon if you died like that. XD
Exactly. The thread title is "What is the coolest way to die?" not "How would you like to die?".
...How the fuck is dying by tea cosy cool?
It's more the comedic and "how the fuck did you manage that" effect. Seriously, it's a lot more creative than most of the "crash into the sun on a rocket made out of bears in the shape of a penis" ideas I've seen.
 

CatmanStu

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Jul 22, 2008
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Having the living shit kicked out of me by Stallone, Arnie, and Bruce Willis while Morgan Freeman laments about my life on voice over.
When they're finished and I'm at deaths door, Samuel L Jackson walks in and says "Shiiiitttt" and puts a bullet in my head.
Then they all walk off, leaving my broken body as Welcome to the Jungle plays over the top.
 

wildpeaks

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
Dec 25, 2008
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Mackheath said:
FrostyChick said:
Mackheath said:
FrostyChick said:
Mackheath said:
FrostyChick said:
Mackheath said:
FrostyChick said:
Death by tea cosy.
I would come back and haunt the world if I died like that. Give me my Charle Sheen death, damnit!
But just think how monumental a cock-up you'd have to make to die like that.
Still not cool though; you'd be laughed at until Armageddon if you died like that. XD
Exactly. The thread title is "What is the coolest way to die?" not "How would you like to die?".
...How the fuck is dying by tea cosy cool?
It's more the comedic and "how the fuck did you manage that" effect. Seriously, it's a lot more creative than most of the "crash into the sun on a rocket made out of bears in the shape of a penis" ideas I've seen.
But...but...bears are awesome...T.T
Ok I didn't read the OP, but BEARS ARE AWESOME. Period. Like... dude !! :D
 

ninetails593

New member
Nov 18, 2009
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Sacrificial deaths get all the sympathy. Like having a time bomb linked to your vest that runs out too quickly, realizing that it's too complicated to unlink quickly, and throwing yourself off the roof to save the squad. Come to think of it, they should do that for a character death in CoD.
 

Ashendarei

New member
Feb 10, 2009
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This has been covered by Monty Python already :D Being chased by a horde of topless women off the edge of a cliff.
 

Shia-Neko-Chan

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Apr 23, 2008
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Got shot by a flying, ak-47 wielding incredible hulk, who is super smart and has direct control over matter, seconds after saving the universe from space dinosaurs in an epic explosion.
 

Censorme

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Nov 19, 2009
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Ashendarei said:
This has been covered by Monty Python already :D Being chased by a horde of topless women off the edge of a cliff.
THIS ONE. I WOULDN'T MIND DYING THIS WAY AT ALL.

But also, I've thought of this topic a lot. If I had to die, how would I make it memorable and worthwhile?

What came to mind was an anime called "Code Geass".
Watch the last episode, (or the whole series if you can stomach anime). That had the best death I can currently imagine.
 

VaderMan92

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Sep 9, 2010
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Dying at age 150 at an orgy with all the current playmates that is being televised across America While killing clones of osama bin laden with your bare hands. (thats the current playmates at when every you are a 150 not the ones around now)