What is the Cruelest Thing You Have Ever Done?

[Sebenko]

I once was bitten in a supermarket by a toddler, and the mother came along to see if everything was okay. I was actually bleeding, and the toddler had some blood in his mouth; so I thought of a suitable revenge on the spot.

I started swearing like a sailor, and used my acting skills to look scared, and when the woman asked me what was wrong, I think I said: "FUCK... FUCKIN' SHIT! I'm bleeding! Get that child tested... I HAVE FUCKING AIDS!"

I walked out of the supermarket, her screams being heard over everything else.

I have more, but I think I'll eat some babies for a while.

This topic has caused me to go from disgusted, to lolling, to disgusted, but that made me laugh long and hard.

That's fucking awesome. I'd have just punched the little fucker, but that's hilarious.

For someone who identifies as a complete bastard, I haven't done anything I consider particularly bad. Or maybe I just don't care enough. I punched my toddler-age cousin once, but he was behaving like a ****.

 

[s0denone]

My third and most recent girlfriend.

It was me at my worst. And honestly I can't say I regret it. She was the worst person I have ever met. She used me, she lied to me, she basically treated me like shit. Well, you see, I don't get mad, I get even. And did I ever get even. I planned a lot of events that exposed her for what she was, and at the end of the school year, when no one wanted anything to do with her. She begged me to take her back, right outside the front of the school, where everyone gathered to watch for some reason. I just looked her square in the eyes and said this: "Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." and I walked away.

That moment made me feel so good its impossible to fully describe. But I do regret the lengths I went to, all the things I did. I hope to never do anything like that again. But believe me, she did deserve it.

You, my good man, have certainly piqued my interest. Will you care to divulge upon me the secrets of your story?
Rather what you did than her. She sounds like a total *****, and I have no doubt in my mind that she deserved it - but getting the whole school to hate her is quite a feat, and I am very interested in finding out how you accomplished such

To be honest, I really don't feel like divulging into too much detail, as its really personal. But getting everyone to hate was decently easy since over half the school already hated her. She always talked down to everyone, used them, insulted them, ect. I just got people to realize this.

Alright, man - no problem.
Congrats on a job well done, regardless, I guess :--)

 

[TerribleAssassin]

I linked someone to lemonparty.org
It was so worth it.

(Don't look it up, btw. Seriously.)

Ohh I'm not joking me at my mates started that. It's sick.

It was our school election party. We would have easy one.
(My mate who made the website told our Deputy Head to go on it. :'] )


Well, err told my girlfriend to go on Lemon Party.

It was skills.

 

[Aerodyamic]

I banged a 47 year old, and then her 21 year old daughter, then the mother again, and then I left a note on each of their cars detailing my perfidy. I specifically mentioned that I hadn't had time to wash up in between them, and they'd both given me head, and done other... less clean things.

Other than that, I'm picked up women for one night stands, and they've decided there was a relationship, and I proceeded to ignore their phone calls and ignorant messages.

The best thing I was peripherally involved in was when an old roommate got a one night stand to leave our apartment by telling her that he was taking a shower, there was bus-fare on the kitchen counter for her, and she needed to be gone by the time he'd washed the smell of her off. I fucking near died laughing, listening to her squalling and howling at him.

And yes, I know I'm going to hell, so don't dwell on it too much. I'm a bad person. We all know this, and I've decided to accept my inner asshole and enjoy my life.

Cool story bro

Cool name, bro.

 

[PixieFace]

Hmm. Let's see.

You should know that I hate being tickled more than being punched. Doesn't help that I am ticklish absolutely everywhere, even on my damn knees and elbows, and that I am clinically hyper-sensitive to every sensation ever. My boyfriend, who is this big strong outdoorsy dude and was sunburned on his face at the time, had once tried to be cute by surprising me with tickles. Well, as a panicked knee-jerk reaction, I stabbed my finger straight into eyeball and ended up scratching his face as collateral damage. I should have felt bad for hurting my love on accident and said I was sorry, but I was gasping through laughter and tears at his instant high pitched OW WHAT? OH, NOOOOOOOOOO.

He couldn't see out of the eye for five minutes, and I still don't regret it. That's what the bastard gets for tickling me.

Oh, and back before they removed it, I told him that going to Google, typing qqqqq, and hitting I'm Feeling Lucky would do the most amazing thing ever.

But those are the only thing that comes to mind. I've always been fairly docile.

 

[Julianking93]

Um...I don't know. I'm not an inately cruel person.

Maybe when I pretended to be a girl on different chat rooms.

That was fun

 

[One Seven One]

I told a friend (no longer a friend though) that I hated him and didn't want to be his friend anymore (he's an a__hole)

I do have some stories from a friend of mine though, just for something a bit more interesting, they?re a bit far-fetched but still funny.

the first story, He was talking to someone he's know for a year, for some reason someone pointed something out and his friend assumed that my friend was a girl, so he went along with it, by the end of the month he had gotten enough information out of this guy that he could black-mail him, so my friend told him to make him a moderator on his website, as soon as he did my friend banned the guy from his own website.

the second story, someone was acting like a pedophile on a forum, so my friend pretends to be a little kid (I think, my memory is a bit fuzzy), as soon as he does someone posts the picture "The rules of the internet" more specifically the every little kid on the internet is actually an FBI agent, my friend had some program or something that told him the IP address of the other guy, so he believed him and quickly left.

 

[Skeleton Jelly]

- Beat my cat so horribly that it literally pissed itself out of fear under my Mom's bed.

-Called my Mom a fat ugly whore and had to physically fight with her. I bruised her shoulder when she slammed me to the ground and I began kicking at her. I also had to slam her against a wall.

-Cut a cat's ear with a razor blade. It got away when I was halfway through cutting the tip off.

I'm being completely honest escapists. I'm not trying to seem bad-ass or psychotic (it's not even that bad really).

But I'd understand if you don't believe me anyways.

Not that bad? Beating cats and cutting their ears? You are one sick fuck. I mean seriously, you are mentally disturbed, I think you need a psychologists help. Or just locking up. And it is psychotic, you fucking freak. And then hitting your mum on top of that? You need to learn some control. See a specialist.

OT: I once made a middle aged women break down in tears. And it was awesome. Her son was like 3 or 4 years younger than me, and decided to keep trying to start a fight with me. Hitting me, shouting abuse etc. I didn't want to hit him, because he was young, but I eventually had enough. I went to his house and told his mother quite frankly "If your son doesn't stop starting on me, I'm going to punch him in the face". Then she started on about calling the police and stuff, and I started berating her, insulting her parenting, her inability to control her child etc. Eventually her eyes went red, tears started streaming down her face, she slammed the front door. Then I heard her running upstairs and slamming what was presumably her bedroom door.

I thought that was a real achievement at age 12, being such a smart ass to make a grown woman cry.


I also accidentally once knocked out my sister. We were playfighting, and I pretended to headbutt her, except I accidentally did, right on the temple. She blacked out for a few seconds and then started crying. I felt really, really bad.

You really have to read my justification post.

Also, my mother is racist, sexist and ignorant. She insults me, my friends, and my girlfriend all the damn time.

You know how I apparently provoke her?
I forget to take out the garbage. I find it perfectly fine to actually take it out. I'm just very forgetful. She COULD just remind me nicely, but no. She had to call me a lazy, useless son. Then out of no where, starts insulting the way I look, the way I dress and the people I mentioned above.

My mother is a sick, miserable, lonely, old women.

I will piss on her grave when she passes away, and use her skull for my cereal bowl.

 

[LimitedPunctuation]

i accidentally have killed six animals(well, technically three animals and three abortions). i did three abortions when i was looking in a birds nest at some eggs, let go of the branch i was hanging onto, and launched them. i killed a baby gerbil by getting it stepped on, i watched it die thirty minutes later after it screamed and it's eye popped out. i killed a mother gerbil by putting it into a plastic ball, putting it onto a toilet, it fell, broke it's spine, had it put to sleep. and my most recent killing was a deer. i was chasing it, and there was a cliff, and a fence by the cliff, and it jumped the fence, and went over the cliff, and the cliff was like 30 feet in the air so......i'm going to hell.

Just picturing a deer in a 10 metre freefall made me collapse from laughter, most hilarious thing i've read for a long time.

 

[Tenkage]

Gave someone Superman 64 for their birthday (it was a bully)

 

[Tenkage]

i accidentally have killed six animals(well, technically three animals and three abortions). i did three abortions when i was looking in a birds nest at some eggs, let go of the branch i was hanging onto, and launched them. i killed a baby gerbil by getting it stepped on, i watched it die thirty minutes later after it screamed and it's eye popped out. i killed a mother gerbil by putting it into a plastic ball, putting it onto a toilet, it fell, broke it's spine, had it put to sleep. and my most recent killing was a deer. i was chasing it, and there was a cliff, and a fence by the cliff, and it jumped the fence, and went over the cliff, and the cliff was like 30 feet in the air so......i'm going to hell.

Just picturing a deer in a 10 metre freefall made me collapse from laughter, most hilarious thing i've read for a long time.

O hate to admit it but it would be funny to see a Deer go the way of the Lemming...yep we are going to hell for laughing aren't we

 

[Tenkage]

Why are so many people in this thread lying? It's the internet. Admit something you're actually ashamed of.
OT: I threatened my ex with suicide more than once. She treated me like shit, and I genuinely did want to die, but I still used it as a threat. I didn't say "get back together with me or I'll neck myself", I may as well have though. I've treated some of my best friends like absolute shit, just because I've been feeling down. Idunno. There's a lot of stuff I wish I could change. Bit of a prick really.

I wasn't lying about getting a bully Superman 64 for his birthday

 

[Outright Villainy]

Probably the time I strung along a girl for about a month or so. I didn't think she was attractive, I didn't like her personality, but it was pretty much the only attention I was getting at the time. I made out with her even, but I had no desire at all to go out with her.
I told her I still had feelings for a friend who shot me down and wasn't looking for a relationship, because I was a coward and didn't want to say I just didn't like her.
About a week later I realised a girl I did like liked me too, and when we met up on a night out I made out with her, when the first girl was sitting about 6 feet away.
Yeah, she kinda hated me after that.
[small]I'm still in a relationship with the girl I ended up with too, and that was about 4 years ago. So I regret nothing! [/small]

I do think I'm a much nicer person now than I was back then at any rate, I was pretty self absorbed.

 

[DocBalance]

I made a guy question everything he stood for and whether anything he has ever done has been justified once. This was done in the midst of a small gathering where he had finally pulled the last straw and gotten me more pissed than people are usually capable of.

He doesn't talk much anymore.

 

[Ldude893]

I kicked a kid bigger than me in the nuts while playing out a scene from Star Wars in the playground in Fourth Grade. It was an accident, and the poor kid never deserved it.

 

[Toastergoat]

I once told my friend I would trade him my rare mew for a while, so before I met up with him I went out and caught a Ratata and named it mew. When it came to trade time I got my Alakasam and bolted. He was annoyed to say the least hahaha

 

[Chogg Van Helsing]

Hmm, this one time i broke someone down mentally to breaking point coz i was bored and she insulted me... lol