What is the drunkest you have ever been?

[Redflash]

One time I spent a pre-drinking session pretty much molesting my girlfriend, fondling her and drooling on her shoulder; we got too drunk to go clubbing so went home instead. I then locked her out her own flat to throw up and pass out in her toilet... she's still with me though

One time I was slavering drunk coming home from a night out, I stole someone's chinese take-away and threw up on myself in the cab all stealthily, coughing out the chunks really quietly whilst singing to myself so that no one noticed. But eventually the driver smelt it and I had to pay £50 quid; I ran home in a crouch, did a full on concrete face plant and was halfway up a tree when my friends found me.

 

[TwiZtah]

I puked in my backpocket, figure that one out.

 

[Blunderboy]

Pffft. If you can remember it then you can't have been that drunk.

In my youth I've had some nights where I've had to have it pieced together for me by other people.
I did once go to a house party having arranged to stay there for the night. Then I introduced the people there to Ring of Fire. There were quite a few people there so we used two decks of cards. Guess who got the contribution pint made up of 8 wildly different drinks?
Yep, yours truly. I downed that beast in a matter of seconds and then things get a bit blurry...

I apparently threw up in the garden, then vanished. I awoke, the next day, at home, with my jeans still half on lying on my phone. I had walked home (a good five or 6 miles) at about 2am, having left my bag, coat, wallet and possibly keys at the party.

That's just one of many stories.

These days I tend to go a little easier on the booze.

 

[Lost In The Void]

On my last birthday aka a week ago, I got so drunk, I stole an advertisement sign in front of a cop, then tried to convince him it was my sign.

The birthday last year, had me making out with a friend in the back of another friends car on the way back to my place

My birthday for my 19th found me 3 hours from my hometown in the vehicle of the only sober person with us apparently on a road trip

My 18th had me barhopping all night to the point where I can now say I've been to every bar in my city

I don't remember much of any of these nights. Maybe I shouldn't drink on my birthday

I hate drunk people they think they are funny when they are not. Consequently I don't drink. Never have never will.

I feel like I need to get drunk and be even more unfunny to make up for this guy right here.

 

[default]

Eh, too many times to count.

I always just get majorly fucking sleepy after half to two-thirds of a fifth and pass out wherever is comfiest for a couple of hours. Wake up, have a cigarette, then try and find everyone in a kind of stupor. I end up sobering up in a few hours and might drink a bit more, but the sleepiness thing kind of stops me from feeling the full effects most of the time.

Sometimes I'll be able to stay up and have antics though, and that's pretty fun.

 

[Eddie the head]

I hate drunk people they think they are funny when they are not. Consequently I don't drink. Never have never will.

I feel like I need to get drunk and be even more unfunny to make up for this guy right here.

Ok. Just don't expect me to be there not asking you to quit, just asking you to leave me alone.

 

[AngloDoom]

Until quite recently I rarely ever drank, since I'm always the one stuck looking after my drunk friends because I worry too much about their love of running into roads while drunk or wanting to climb lamp-posts. One day I decided "Balls to it, I want to be looked after!"

So I went from occasionally having a pint or three to two litres of cider, three glasses of wine, two pints of god-awful punch, and a bottle-and-a-half of tequila washed down with three shots of absinthe.

Needless to say I was pretty far gone. I woke up the next day naked, with chest-hairs drawn on with a pen, covered in lipstick (yes!), my own lips covered in lipstick (yes!), ...far too neatly to have been kissed on (...oh), and hugging a bag of bread.

Turns out I ate almost the entire loaf and drank about three pints of water before bed, because I was so scared of having a hangover. I woke up feeling pretty fresh, actually =D

I hate drunk people they think they are funny when they are not. Consequently I don't drink. Never have never will.

Surely you can't think all drunk people act the same? I've seen stupid drunks, happy drunks, hilarious drunks, affectionate drunks, aggressive drunks...there's a lot of personalities there and alcohol doesn't just override who you are like that.

I mean, each to their own and all, but I do have to wonder why you came into a topic about something you clearly aren't a part of and have no desire to be a part of, just to tell us you're not a part of it.

 

[FamoFunk]

Few Black outs and a lot of paralytic states. Along with a broken leg twice and being arrested.

Safe to say I cannot remember what I actually drunk to get there, but I did go off Vodka for a long time.

 

[robmastaflex]

Let's see. It would have been back when I was 18. I don't really remember much myself, but I have seen recordings my friends so kindly made of me in this state. I'd drunk a litre bottle of Jack Daniels straight in just under an hour. After vomiting numerous times, I passed out in a tent. i should probably mention we were camping at the time, in the middle of winter too. Anyway, there was 5 of us and I passed out in the larger tent, leaving 4 people to share a 2 man tent, no one wanting to be vomited on in there sleep. They also kindly set up hourly 'death checks' to make sure I was still alive. I can't think of any time I've been drunker than that, and I don't really want to get that drunk again. At least my friends got a good story from it though.

 

[Mojo]

I don't remember how much I drank that night since I blacked out pretty bad, but my friends told me that I threw up about 4 times, spend 45 minutes in the bathroom, although it only felt like 5 min. to me, called up someone on their cell at about 4 in the morning and somehow got home, but I walked through a field and fell down allot...

 

[JochemHippie]

I was with a group of friends in a hostel in Frankfurt Germany

There was plenty of weed and none of it left the morning after the party, as for being drunk I had 9 0.5l bottles of a very good pale lager, half a Coca Cola bottle of rum and cola and then I had the remains of a random bottle of Jack.

I didn't pass out, but everything was one big haze of... fuck.

 

[Random Fella]

I hate drunk people they think they are funny when they are not. Consequently I don't drink. Never have never will.

what a great story for a "drunkest you've ever been" thread :/
just because you dont drink doesnt mean you have to go round being a morally uptight twat

Well that was a little passive aggressive. Not sure how that was "morally uptight" morals don't have anything to do with why I don't drink, so I have no idea what you mean. If you want to drink fine but I don't like to, and don't expect me to hang around if there are a bunch of drunk people.

You don't like hanging around a bunch of drunk people, so you come to a thread about how drunk people have gotten, nice.

OT: I haven't gotten drunk that often... But if I think about it probably about 12-15 of those bottled bourbon and cokes or something a rather followed by shots of some strange spirits (Strange as in a few different ones that I forget the name of)
I was fine until this one spirit, forget the name of it, but it tasted like shit, and being drunk at the time I just swigged it back like it was nothing, which was a bad call, ended up very sick that night... Normally I can handle most alcohol, but not whatever disgusting thing that was

 

[Lost In The Void]

I hate drunk people they think they are funny when they are not. Consequently I don't drink. Never have never will.

I feel like I need to get drunk and be even more unfunny to make up for this guy right here.

Ok. Just don't expect me to be there not asking you to quit, just asking you to leave me alone.

Based on you responses here, I'm seeing that its less that people are unfunny and more you can't take a joke. Dude chill out XD this is the internet not the goddamn Parliament. If you come into a thread with the express purpose of backhandedly insulting everyone in the thread, you really have to expect such responses.

Basically what I'm saying is don't be a passive aggressive jerk and instead just avoid the threads that you feel you wouldn't be able to contribute to. Not judging for the lack of the Devil's Water, thats your thing and you're welcome to it, but spoiling other people's fun because you don't do it yourself, well thats kinda a cuntish thing to do.

Just saying dude, chill out and move on.

 

[OneCatch]

One time, I downed one of those half yard things filled with some kind of perverse, hideous, concoction of rum, vodka, beer, cider and fucking saki.
The last think I remember is being too drunk to actually speak, and having to make a major effort to stay on the pavement and not bump into parked cars.
Apparently, I later nearly fell off of a bridge, was rescued by my friends (who were in slightly better shape), taken home, and spent about 5 hours listening to Pink Floyd at obscene volume while they drank the rest of my booze and had a bit of a party as I recuperated.
Oh, and I allegedly threw up on my dog. I'm pretty sure they made that last bit up though...

 

[Reaper195]

A few years ago, me and a couple of mates got together a shitload of money and bought a tonne of booze. A week later, we finally regained sobriety and found ourselves at the bottom of the South Island (Live in New Zealand). I live three quarters up the North Island. We had a couple of cameras with random pictures we had no idea where they had been taken, and absolutely no memory of the previous week. But not longer after that, I began drinking far too much far too often. It came to a head when I was in an argument with a mates sister, she said something I can't remember any more, and I clocked her right in the face. So my mate then came over to me, hit me, then dragged my arse and threw me into the stream behind his house. Been sober ever since.

Still....we had some good times.

 

[WaysideMaze]

I once woke up in hospital with half my face bruised and cut.

I'd turned 18 a few weeks earlier, finally had the money to go out and celebrate. I remember getting to somewhere in the region of 15 tequilas and 15 jagermeisters. Then I black out. That was at midnight.

Apparently it was at 3 when I finally collapsed and headbutted the concrete. So I have 3 hours where I have no idea what happened.

I've also woken up in my own vomit on 5 or 6 occasions now.

I have significantly cut back on the drink these days, although that's mostly due to working nights and not being able to go out during the week.

 

[WaysideMaze]

I hate drunk people they think they are funny when they are not. Consequently I don't drink. Never have never will.

what a great story for a "drunkest you've ever been" thread :/
just because you dont drink doesnt mean you have to go round being a morally uptight twat

Well that was a little passive aggressive. Not sure how that was "morally uptight" morals don't have anything to do with why I don't drink, so I have no idea what you mean. If you want to drink fine but I don't like to, and don't expect me to hang around if there are a bunch of drunk people.

Every time there's a thread for drinkers, someone like you turns up. To remind us all how superior you are for not needing to drink or something similar.

Seriously, why bother posting in this thread?

 

[Jonluw]

It was my first (or second) time getting proper drunk. I was still seventeen.
I had approximately twelve glasses of wine/beer over the course of the evening. Well, I say glasses, but I was drinking from a disposable plastic coffee cup.

Over the course of the evening, I spent some time looking fondly back on old memories with a friend, attempting to prank call old friends, and sword fighting with 10-year olds. This was a party arranged by my family, you see, so there were lots of friends of the family there.
Then I and my friend went and watched some episodes of Death note.
The last thing I remember is opening my last can of beer.

The next morning I woke up very early in my bed, wearing all my clothes, with a shitty hangover, a bucket standing next to my bed, and the knowledge that I had to catch an early train to Oslo. That's a six to eight hour train ride.
After having made it to the train, I found out the on-train store didn't accept my card, and I wasn't carrying cash.
All I had to eat and drink for the duration of the trip was half a litre of Coke and one of those tiny travel packs of Pringles.

On the train, my friend called me and informed me that I'd vomited in two different sinks and blacked out in my own bed.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

I've only ever had 2 hangovers despite the amount that I used to drink.

For one of them we went for "a quiet night out" and the last thing I remember was in bar number 4 we did gas chambers of wray and nephews rum.

I woke up in my bed several hours later, the entire room stank of gin and my sheets reeked of gin, there were several bloodied tissues scattered around but I had no cuts on me and a pack of playing cards were all over the place including in my clothes.

Found out later that I'd apparently passed out standing up in the next bar along for a bit, woken up and gone and knocked for a friend, slapped him and walked off and that's all that I know about that night :S

 

[Shoggoth2588]

New Years 2006 - 2007. It was the first time I was ever drunk and didn't even realize it was drunkenness until a couple of years after. Apparently it was drunkenness...I hated the sensation of being dizzy while laying on the couch and, would hate to spend money on alcohol so, I haven't had a drink since.