One night I was playing some Ninja Gaiden 2 and yeah, you know how that game is. After getting my ass tweaked for the hundreth time I threw the controller down in a rage. Unbeknownst to me it must have hit the call button on my phone and as my girlfriends name begins with A she was the first contact in my phonebook.
So I carry on playing, now venting my frustration with a little trash talking such as "Yea, you like that huh *****? yeah imma show you who's boss, get some' etc unaware that my girl had picked up the other end and could hear every word.
Now, this girl is the crazy jealous type, i cant even tell you, one time she nailed my scrotum to a cake stand just for looking at another chick. Anyway she hears me talking shit and assumes im railing another chick and talking kinky. I used to do that to her and strangle her,on request. And sometimes not on request.
Anyway, she loses her goddamed mind, drives straight round to my uncles house and proceeds to take his cock in every orifice god gave her,taking polaroids the whole time.
She comes home later and drops the photos down straight in front of me. Now I dont know if you can imagine what it's like seeing a full set of hardcore prints of your beloved and your own uncled doing the nastiest of nastys but for a second I thought my rectum had prolapsed right there and then.
I go postal, she's already screaming so loud only dogs can hear her, the upshot is she punches herself in the mouth, calls the cops and I get convicted of assault and battery and do a 2 - 5 stretch in san quentin getting buggered for biscuits on a daily basis.
Man, fuck Ninja Gaiden 2
