What is the worst thing to think and say during an job interview?

[Fenix_Santiago]

It just kinda hit on me of what would be a bad thing or say during an interview, weird I know...but it just sounds like it could give some funny ideas.

 

[skitzo van]

Its not really saying, but it works

 

[Mr. Gency]

"Your wife is hot."

 

[Dango]

I'll go with:

"The jerk store called, they're runnin' outa you!"
and
"Oh yeah, well I slept with your wife!"

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

Me and my best friend were just talking about it, and we decided on the 'NGE Shinji Ikari' approach.
"So, who are you?" "I am _____. There are two aspects to _____. The _____ that exists in my mind, and the _____ that exists in your mind, and the _____ that exists in his mind, and the receptionist's mind, and the [etc]'s mind. They are all different, but each one is the real _____."
"..."
"Do I get the job?"
I have to try that some time...

 

[Tagball]

"I have rats in my anus"

For my job interview at a day camp, I talked to my employers about Eraserhead. It was quite an odd conversation, but they were nice fellows.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

"Thank you for granting me access to your mind. I have all the information I need. That is all."

Also, you'll never fail at failing if you entered, sat down without saying anything or shaking the interviewer's hand, then instantly said, "I love you."

 

[HeySeansOnline]

If I do not get this job I will fornicate and then deficate In your car, If I get It I will show up late, steal things, hump the water cooler to comedic effect, slap a secratary's ass five times a day, eat all of the food In the fridge, go out of my way to ruin productivity, smash the computers and If I am fired I will go on a massive killing spree throughout the building culminating In your decapitation.

 

[brodie21]

thinking "wow, this guy is a douche"

 

[Rarhnor]

I give my vote to Magma:

interviewer: "where do you see your self in 5 years?"

me: "doing your wife."

mission accomplished.

This wouldn't even approve you, as test-subject for hazardous birth-control pills.

 

[ebMusicMan84]

Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife

Doing your... son?

 

[con70solo]

Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife

Doing your... son?

classic

 

[BlindTom]

Why would I want my interview to be successful? I get more than minimum wage in unemployment benefits. A good "mistake" to make is repeating the last few words that they say and chuckling to yourself. Keep doing it all the way through and it sounds like you're unconsciously mocking their interview technique.

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife
Don't say doing your wife

Doing your... son?

Damn it! Ninja'd!

"Tell your wife I'll be there at 11."

 

[TheDoctorsCompanion.]

Ha. Thank you for posting this thread, It's a good read for me seeing as how I'm going to start looking for a job in about two weeks.

"So, who are you?" "I am _____. There are two aspects to _____. The _____ that exists in my mind, and the _____ that exists in you mind, and the _____ that exists in his mind, and the receptionist's mind, and the [etc]'s mind. They are all different, but each on is the real _____."
"..."
"Do I get the job?"
I have to try that some time...

It's going to be really difficult for me to not use this though, cause it totally sounds like something I'd say XD

 

[Fenix_Santiago]

"My main achievements are life are doing your ex-wife, your daughter and successfully gaining all the achievements in Halo 3."

 

[dancinginfernal]

"Excuse me, I just pooped a little."

Crass, but oh so effective.

 

[WINDOWCLEAN2]

Walk in.
Sit down.
Crack Knuckles.
Pick up pencil.
Snap pencil.
Put each side in one nostril.
Stand Up.
Bow.
Sitdown once again.

As unreal as it sounds I saw a person do this, Unsurprisingly she didn't get the job.

 

[Oilerfan92]

Didint i take your daughters virginity ?