What is the worst thing you have caught a parent doing? (Change of topic)

[Aesthetical Quietus]

Dude, leave it alone. That's going to be an ackward discussion with your mum, she probably already knows or suspects, and quite frankly it's not the end of the world. Why the hell would it even matter to your mum? Rather than pestering her for sex, he's out letting it like hundreds of other guys around the world.
Unless you know that your mum will actually care about this, like if she has some sort of special feeling about this, just leave it alone, your only going to stress relationships(if not your mum and your step-dad, then your step-dad and you). Oh, unless you don't like him, then by golly, GO FOR IT!!!

 

[Trivun]

If it was proper porn you should tell her. But if it was just a topless woman leave it because its not really a big deal.

Why tell her anyway? OP, you don't know if your mum is okay with him watching porn or not, and as you said yourself, it's no big deal, all guys do it. I'll admit, I've watched porn myself, and so have plenty of other guys I know who are in happy relationships right now. Watching porn isn't a problem. If he was going out meeting prostitutes or watching child porn then there'd be a problem and you'd be right in telling your mum. Otherwise, leave it. Just forget about it, I'm sure you'll do the same sort of thing when you have kids eventually. I know I probably will, and so will most guys. It's no big deal. Just forget it.

 

[HuntrRose]

To OP: If it bothers you, do the hard thing and talk to him.

To all those bashing the OP: GET A LIFE, or write something constructive! People are different and react differently to different things and situations. Maybe you would have handled OPs situation better, but frankly, who cares?

 

[Hoxton]

To OP: If it bothers you, do the hard thing and talk to him.

To all those bashing the OP: GET A LIFE, or write something constructive! People are different and react differently to different things and situations. Maybe you would have handled OPs situation better, but frankly, who cares?

No one.

 

[The Maddest March Hare]

The way I see it there are 2 choices.

Deal with it, safe in the knowledge that it's totally natural and, so long as it's just something online, and not a video chat or something which would be a real worry, then everything is fine and dandy. You just need to work a way around it, which no one here can really help with as everyone deals with things differently.

OR

You could confront him and your mum about it, if he's really sexually active right now maybe she hasn't been putting out for him recently and he's finding a release rather than getting tense about it. And if that IS the problem, then they may start having sex more often. And then you'd have to deal with that most nights rather than this disturbing image. At least the image is silent and (hopefully) a one off.

Your choice.

 

[Avatar Roku]

Uhm...I think its the fact that his step-dad is lusting over other women. Not just internally, but looking them up and using them as masturbation material. I'm not going to pretend I know anything about the OP, but the fact that he has a step-dad allures he has probably seen his parents' relationship go down in flames.

From this perspective, his step-dad is showing a sexual interest in other women and is also exploring it in secrecy, meaning that, to some degree, he realises it is either not acceptable or appropriate.

There was never a "masturbation is wrong" sentence, but I think he feels slightly odd considering his step-dad is in a very serious relationship (looking after a child that isn't his) and is exploring his urges for other women. While there's nothing wrong with being attracted to women while in a relationship and masturbating in a relationship, I'd considering it a betrayal to my girlfriend if I was masturbating to porn or another person in general when I was in a close, serious, sexual relationship with her.


Is that clear now?

Most of us get that.

Showing sexual interest in a woman you will never meet isn't really a betrayal. It's just sexual release.

It's like saying a woman using an Adult Toy when she is on her own is cheating. What's going on in her mind could be anything (or anyone).

I'm sure he knows that intellectually, but the human mind is an odd thing. Surely you've felt some way without knowing why before?

 

[Mackinator]

It's nothing to worry about, maybe your mum isn't giving him some sugar

Isnt that a lovely thought?

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Jesus Christ... what the hell is wrong with you?
"Oh Boohoo, my stepdad was watching porn!" So what? Stop being such a drama queen, man up, and accept the fact that men like porn, and you accidentally walked in on one who was watching some.

Your mom probably already knows, and if she doesn't... then there's no reason to be a rat.

 

[AndyVale]

Keep it in the back of your mind. If he ever catches you then remind him that you have this to drop when you choose.

 

[Zuljiin]

I have to agree, you're a pussy. Get over it.

 

[Avatar Roku]

Jesus Christ... what the hell is wrong with you?
"Oh Boohoo, my stepdad was watching porn!" So what? Stop being such a drama queen, man up, and accept the fact that men like porn, and you accidentally walked in on one who was watching some.

Your mom probably already knows, and if she doesn't... then there's no reason to be a rat.

The impression I keep getting is that OP knows that, but...well, as I said, the human mind is bizarre. He's likely already emotionally removed from him, seeing as it's his step-dad (i.e, an outsider trying to be in the family, to his mind), so quite a bit will seem like a betrayal.

Or he could be trolling, but I prefer my explanation.

 

[SpannerMan]

While there's nothing wrong with being attracted to women while in a relationship and masturbating in a relationship, I'd considering it a betrayal to my girlfriend if I was masturbating to porn or another person in general when I was in a close, serious, sexual relationship with her.

Ok, Im going to go ahead and just assume that many of you here are young (early 20's and younger) so perhaps you havent actually experianced a long term sexual relationship, because some of your comments are incredibly naive.

Men masturbate, always have done, and until they invent a pill that turns off our most basic primeval instincts, they always will. This includes when they are sexually active or not. Some do it more than others. Women masturbate too. Its life, its a way of releiving sexual tension that exists in us all naturally. Sometimes your partner doesnt want or cant have sex - maybe you dont want to have sex - a wank is conveniant, safe and natural.

This has absolutely nothing to do with how your stepdad feels towards your mother - seriously. One day you will be in a similar situation, I promise you. Dont mention it to him or your mom, unless you feel you realy need to do, but honestly it would just embaress you all.

 

[Nifty]

I don't get the furore of this at all. A guy watching porn is as far away from a big deal as former Big Brother contestants are.

Unless he was watching kiddie porn.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Jesus Christ... what the hell is wrong with you?
"Oh Boohoo, my stepdad was watching porn!" So what? Stop being such a drama queen, man up, and accept the fact that men like porn, and you accidentally walked in on one who was watching some.

Your mom probably already knows, and if she doesn't... then there's no reason to be a rat.

The impression I keep getting is that OP knows that, but...well, as I said, the human mind is bizarre. He's likely already emotionally removed from him, seeing as it's his step-dad (i.e, an outsider trying to be in the family, to his mind), so quite a bit will seem like a betrayal.

Or he could be trolling, but I prefer my explanation.

I guess. I know my dad has porn on his phone, but it doesn't bother me that much. Although, he is my actual dad, and not a step-dad.

 

[sms_117b]

married and dating guys (generally) still do it all the time (watch porn) no big deal, let it slide, if you can't talk to him.

 

[EgoDeusEst]

Quit being such a wanker yourself and get over it. Half the people who responded to this thread were probably typing with one hand.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

Wank or no Wank - This issue is addressed.

You are facing consternation over the social dynamic, not a moral dilemma, allow me to speak to this.

Pull your mum aside, and quietly, calmly, and respectfully talk to her about this. You are obviously uncomfortable with your step-father at SOME level, and that is keeping you from approaching him about this.

Speaking with your mum will give you a chance to speak your mind and get your feelings straightened out. If it IS a problem, your mum will take care of the situation. If it is not a problem, she will console you, explain her feelings, and that will be the end of the matter.

If she has any sense of propriety, she will keep your concerns between the two of you. You can ask her to keep it that was if you don't want him coming up to you later to talk about it.

 

[MiloP]

I love how this thread went! From calling the author an idiot to making fun of her mother's sexual performance? Only March Mayhem has caused this much flaming.

FROGGE, there's nothing I can say that hasn't been said already, and that you already have stated you know about. All I can say is, well, I hope you can get over it and look your step-dad in the eye again.

Pricks who replied in a prickish manner - stop being pricks. Its not very nice when someone is obviously under a bit of emotional stress.

IF this is a troll (which I sincerely believe and hope is not, but hey, I've been surprised in the past) then GAHHHH.

But you asked what you should do, well, I think you should probably talk it out with your step-dad. If you ask and he comes clean about it then maybe you can get some trust back.

Hope you feel better.