What is your favourite quote/analogy/quips from Yahtzee?

[404notfound]

"Absolutly sublime from start too finish and I willl jam forks into my eyes if I ever use those words too describe anything else ever again. Yeah I know it's not very funny too love a game but FUCK YOU, Portal's great and if you don't think so you must be stupid" - From the Orange Box review.

"And if they just spent more time ironing out the balance issues and keeping Peter Molyneux's gob shut during development it would probably have been more favourably received" - The Fable review he did before Escapist picked him up.

Those two are some good old ones that I always remember.

 

[robot slipper]

But as the disbelieving friend said to the inventor of the feces-powered helicopter, "This shit will not fly!"

This is one of my favourites ones, but I can't for the life of me remember which review it is from!!!! Little help anyone?

It's from his Left 4 Dead 2. New Super Mario Bros. Wii review.

Cheers!

Also: I always have to say "Just cause!" the Yahtzee way now.

 

[SckizoBoy]

BTW, does anyone know where this quote comes from? "it's like your riding a bike and every 100 meters the bike turns into a bear."

Think that's Shadow of the Colossus.

'Why would you ride your bike into a house, ramp off a villagers head and reenact the Columbine Massacre on a policeman's face? Just 'cause!'

Can't remember what precedes the 'Fucked if I know!' bit.

 

[Eleison]

From a fairly recent one, Alice: Madness Returns:

"And while I'm not saying I have some kind of constitutional right to regular boss fights, the game has this rather obnoxious habit of letting you think you're about to have a boss fight and then whipping it away from you like a dollar bill whipped from out the grasp of a street urchin by the biggest **** on Earth."

Also, this:

 

[ssgt splatter]

'THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!!'

... was the first one that came to mind, so I'll go with that.

Damn, ninja'd. On a related note, that is my new catch-phrase; I'd probably put that in my XBOX LIVE profile pretty soon too.

 

[The Unknown Stuntman]

it has to be the classic 'pants on head retarded' but when he was talking about a game (cant remember the title) but the quote was 'I'm gonna call this game airstrikes 2 hurray for airstrikes' made me chuckle for a little bit too

 

[Eleison]

Oh, and I forgot my most favorite one (from Silent Hill 2):

"It's a fascinating voyage of pain and despair that leaves you emotionally drained and satisfied, like fucking a burning dolphin."

 

[WhiteandNeardy99]

Probably the Resident Evil 5 review 'it's like watching someone beat their fists against a wall then running off to hospital before doing it again, and they used my health insurance, and it was my wall'.

In fact that entire review was effing brilliant I think probably my favourite.

'More holes than a triple c***ed prostitute in 19th century Whitechapel' :-D

 

[ChaoticKraus]

Fucking Hell did anyone see THAT?! I am squirting Machismo out of my nipples over here! I am a monster truck that walks like a MAN!

I love that quoute, describes the feeling of raw manliness like no other.

also, THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!

 

[genericusername64]

"Don't quote me"-Yahtzee

 

[DeltaStrata]

I'm rather surprised no one has mentioned the Force Unleashed line yet.

"Apparently the plot is supposed to tie the Star Wars prequel trilogy to the original series, which raises the obvious question: 'Why would we want to do this terrible thing?'"

Also

"...and huge, repetitive environments that only exacerbate the frustration caused by Baldur's toe-curlingly slow moving speed--or perhaps I should call it Baldur's gait." - Too Human review

 

[SckizoBoy]

Damn, ninja'd. On a related note, that is my new catch-phrase; I'd probably put that in my XBOX LIVE profile pretty soon too.

Spoiler: No need to thank me

Surprised I can't find it on Google images... somebody'll do a better version at some point, I'm sure...

 

[zfactor]

"You want a story? Here's a story: You're here, bad guys there, KILL THEY ASS!"

"Bull. Fucking. Shit." [Reads: What-Arbitray-Silliness!]

And others.

 

[trouble_gum]

"More like a nightmare that Philip K. Dick might have if he were being spooned by H. R. Giger."

Much as I love the phrase "pants on head retarded" and "like a Jacobs Cream Cracker without butter; perfectly edible but still lacking," this particular analogy for the final 'boss fight' in DX:HR worked especially well for me, and also happens to absolutely spot on.

Also; "The Indy-in-a-Fridge Award for Franchise Rape."

 

[sorpaqq]

There is no middle finger big enough.

 

[rvbnut]

Fallout 3: "Yeah it's alright"

 

[Cal Thomas]

"...It's actually quite a while before you even see an enemy, and let me just transcribe my though process at the time. "Dum de dum, well this isn't very scary. Oh look, physics. I can throw chairs around like a removal man who's entirely stopped giving a shit. Doors suddenly blowing open in the wind? Yawn-a-rama. Guess I'll just look around upstairs and then just play Halo: Reach for a bit. No nothing much up here either, I'll just go back and- Whoa, what was that thing I just glimpsed running down a hallway? I don't know, but it looked cross about something, so I think I'll go down this other hallway instead- oh it's blocked. Guess i'll turn around and- WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?! WAHHH, RUNRUNRUN, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO MESS YOUR CHAIRS UP! OH, PISSING BLIMEY, THERE'S JAM COMING OUT OF THE WALLS!!!!!"

From the Amnesia: The Dark Descent review. My absolute favorite, and also the birthplace of the fantastic 'A-Bloogey-Woogey-Woo" line.

 

[TheAngryKoala]

Dead to Rights: Retribution :

"Then the player is transferred into another dimension where Pain is God and Jack Slate is Pope."

 

[LITE992]

"If I stuck people's balls in my mouth I'd be a prostitute or possibly a Gamespot employee."

 

[M-E-D The Poet]

?Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding, and you can still spend all afternoon explaining that, but no one?s going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it.?

Im completely serious whenever I say this. It's one of the great proverbs.

that's worthy of a placard