What religion would you create?

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SultanP

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I wouldn't create one. I despise religions from the bottom of my, well, I would say soul if I believed in souls. I just despise them, hardcore.
 

Superhyperactiveman

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Jul 23, 2009
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I've already created my own religion: It's called bazookanism.

In bazookanism, I am God. Everyone else is poop-meat. Every day, 500 poop-meats go into "The pit" which is basically this really deep, really big hole in the ground. I then sit at the top of the pit with a bazooka and attempt to kill all of them. After 24 hours, the surviving poop-meats go to Heaven, and the rest are carted off to be fed to Hilary Clinton. Then 500 more poop-meats go into the pit.

Why base the after-life on something stupid like morality, when you can base it on an actually useful skill... like the ability to dodge bazooka fire...?
 

hagaya

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Sep 1, 2008
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AkJay said:
Crabists, the study of all things Crab People.
Including spycrabs?

My religion would worship the Launch Box in Gabe Newell's tool shed. It would be simliar to Christianity in that the second coming of Christ is the Second Coming of Counter-Strike. We'd call it Valvism.
 

TheFacelessOne

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Feb 13, 2009
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MaxTheReaper said:
TheFacelessOne said:
Point taken.

...

Can I still fund your army?

Go right ahead.
(ps fuck tha police)

<color=maroon>User was banned for this post.(Permanent.)
Now, which would you like more?

An Army of Gundams, Army of MechWarriors, or army of Spartans with full Shoop-da-Whoop capability?
 

traceur_

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Feb 19, 2009
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Basically me as leader but with a team of smart followers to do most of the work for me.

Fairly strict utilitarian rules. I'd have my own harem (duh). Followers must own at least one Korpiklaani album.

The temple or HQ or whatever you want to call it, would be at the top of an absolutely huge tree. If you can't climb to the top, you're out.
 

Captain Blackout

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Feb 17, 2009
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I'm already working on my own religion. I call it The Spirits of Compassion but that's just a working title. I have very few followers. I think only two but it might be more. It's in the early stages. The first project is a solo project, teaching a class on Christianity at a Unitarian Universalist church. The long term goal is to become a meta-church. We do not seek to take followers away from other churches, or get them into a highly organized congregation. Rather, we seek to gain followers who will stay where they are and work towards putting compassion first in their communities and churches. My personal bibles are the Tao Te Jhing and the Gospels but I will be working from Frank Herbert's Dune series as a model for speculative religious progress and will use other texts that I or others in the church find useful.
 

Captain Blackout

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Feb 17, 2009
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CorvinBlack said:
MaxTheReaper said:
I wouldn't.
Religion just gets in the way of worshipping the One True God - me.
How Nietzschean of you? Did you read that somewhere (perhaps wikipedia?) or did it take some effort to come up with this? Very original. From all of you. Its a nice thread, why not show some creativity with it?

As for my religion, everybody would get free assalth lasers and sunday sermon would be a zombie hunt. And some cake. Chocolate cake.
You haven't met Max, have you? I wouldn't be surprised if he's the re-incarnation of Nietzche, except he appears to have far more style.
 

CheeseSandwichCake

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May 23, 2009
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http://steamcommunity.com/groups/bacontologyism

I am a Bacontologyist. I worship his pink body and I have been honoured to take up the frying pan and SMITE all the enemies of Bacon!

JOIN THE REVOLUTION AND YOU WILL BE SAVED!
 

SassyCarrot

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Sep 1, 2009
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I would make a religion where every person is equal regardless of race, colour or gender. OH AND EVERYONE HAS TO WHERE CHICKEN HATS AND PONCHOS!!!
 

xXGeckoXx

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Jan 29, 2009
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A religion Based around puns. The ranks would be punny. The scriptures punny. And you had better pray that the services will be punny. it will also worship cats and armadillos and people will wear hats. Bowler hats, top hats, fedora's, proper cowboy hats, and any kind of pirate hats. And yes it will also be piratey.
 

GrinningManiac

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Jun 11, 2009
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Probably an insanely evil version of the Catholic Church with me as the god/head/divine etheral tyrant-for-infinity

And before you go sayin' that the C.C. is evil anyhow, I'm saying WITHOUT the attempts to cover it up.

I'm just kiddin', big P, you and your guys are swell