The idea that this existence is created, or at least perpetuated, out of my solitary mind.
The idea that I've yet to experience true pain, after chronic kidney stones, bladder stones and constant kidney infections. The self-doubt, the ignominy that I've felt, is nothing as to what's to come.
The concept that, after death (or even in life), there is additional pain, torment and torture I've yet to endure.
The idea of death, the concept that this constant starvation & devouring and blended with these peaks of pleasure, must end.
I could go on, but what's the point? I've thought about this for years and we're still fucked. Who cares?
If life has taught me anything it's that: it can always get better or worse and everything is relative.
Terrifying.