What the hell, ladies!?

[Housebroken Lunatic]

I don't understand it either, and I'm a girl.

But yeah, I confess: I can take some while to get dressed up. Applying makeup is harder then it looks...

No need for modesty.

Im not the kind of guy you'd call being "in touch with his feminine side". And i've never had a reason to try applying make-up myself. But even I'll admit that it is a difficult and most likely time-consuming task.

And I know that it's often simply dismissed as some "silly girl thing" by most guys, but what they're not thinking about when they do that is that it's an artistic activity, requiring a good sense of aesthetics, colour-tones and taste.

Applying an appealing and good looking makeup is hard. And I for one do appriceate the effort.

And this is not because im some sort of sexist pig who think that women shouldn't leave their home without makeup on, but because im informed and artistic enough to know that a good makeup-job is supposed to distinguish and enhance natural features, not conceal and cover a face up.

So if you happen to bump into a guy who dismiss or belittle your practice of applying makeup then can the modesty and tell that artistically challenged asshole to go fuck himself, and then that he try HIS hand at applying makeup and see how well his results will be and how long it takes.

 

[Andaxay]

So my friends tell me =P

However, I don't drink alcoholic drinks, and I don't get drunk, period.
Life choice of mine.

Ok, i'm not really meaning to offend you know but I suspect that your friends might have a pretty low opinion about you behind your back.

Trust me "that guy" who refuse to drink and pretty much hate going out to clubs while his friends are all having a good time tend to create a somewhat bad reputation. And if you're not careful, you might just end up on a slippery slope where your friends simply don't call you or get in touch with you anymore.

And it's not because it's "good" to drink alcohol, it is actually quite healthy to refrain from doing so. BUT, getting drunk once in awhile isn't very likely to kill you or cause you serious long-term harm AND consuming alcohol is actually something more than just "using a drug" like most people seem to believe. It's actually a cultural and above all SOCIAL tradition that has been around for thousands of years.

It's sort of like a "rite of passage" so to say, especially among good friends. They want to see what their friends are all like when they drop some inhibitions and self-control and see if they're still "good people", away from all the politeness and niceties that people (even friends) maintain when completely sober.

Now if your friends are good people, chances are that they'll never actually tell you that they think you're a stuck-up snoozefest, but try to maintain contact with you as much as possible. Heck some might even manage to put up with you for several more years.

But the fact of the matter is that on some level, most people tend to feel "betrayed" or that they're somehow "rejected" when someone who they consider a friend refuse to get drunk with them. And this will show after repeated instances where their friends refuse to partake in the festivities and alcohol consumption.

Im not going to tell you what to do or anything (it's your choice), but I think you should know that there's more to consuming alcohol with your friends and get intoxicated than simple, mindless drug usage. And really consider if you want to run the risk of being viewed as "that guy" by the people you call friends.

And if you just think im full of shit here, then try to get a litle one-on-one time with one of them and ask them to tell you honestly if they feel wierd about you refusing to join in every time. Chances are that some of them will think/feel like you're rejecting them/their choices or that you're somehow "better" than them, and it's likely that this attitude will fester if you don't ever bring it up and communicate about it.

Also, please disregard this if your choice stems from a previous history of alcohol abuse. If you have a predisposition towards developing addictions, then it would be best to stay away from alcohol, and your friends would most likely be more understanding of your situation if they knew about it.

In any case: main point here is that there's more "bonding" in partying with friends (alcohol consumption included) and perhaps doing some stupid shit while doing it than you might think, and it would certainly not be a disservice to yourself to think it through a little with a newer perspective when you've basically decided to refuse to do something that there's nothing inherently wrong with doing.

OR, his friends could respect his choice just like he does theirs and not pressure him into drinking just so they'll spend time with him. If they don't, they aren't good friends, are they? How is it weird? Plenty of people don't drink, and if his friends do get seriously hacked off that he doesn't then he needs to find better friends who won't eliminate him from get-togethers 'cause of a personal choice he made. The majority of my friends don't drink at all and I have a lot of respect towards them for it.

(Note to Spy_Guy - just for the record, I don't think your friends are douches, I just don't agree with this person's opinion.)

 

[Kendell Cambridge]

Well while I don't think it's wrong of women to not dance (women's prerogative and all that), where I do have an issue is when women take offence to a guy trying to dance with them like she can't believe that he would dare try with her. If I went to a wine tasting then got offended when someone asked me if I wanted a sip of wine, I'm a fucking idiot. If anyone goes to a club then gets all uppity when someone tries to talk or dance with them, then they're retarded.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

OR, his friends could respect his choice just like he does theirs and not pressure him into drinking just so they'll spend time with him. If they don't, they aren't good friends, are they? How is it weird? Plenty of people don't drink, and if his friends do get seriously hacked off that he doesn't then he needs to find better friends who won't eliminate him from get-togethers 'cause of a personal choice he made. The majority of my friends don't drink at all and I have a lot of respect towards them for it.

(Note to Spy_Guy - just for the record, I don't think your friends are douches, I just don't agree with this person's opinion.)

Im quite sure they respect his choice, otherwise they would've distanced themselves or try to chase Spy_Guy off in a way more overt manner, and it's not like they seem to be forcing alcohol on him either.

The thing is, it doesn't matter how much you respect someone. Certain actions and adopted behaviours might still be experienced as irksome or even hurtful, and if left unchecked run a very serious risk of breaking up relationships.

Also, this whole "Im not wierd/crazy, everybody else is!"-mentality that you seem to advocate by jumping to the concluscion that just because a group of friends find it irksome that one of them refuse to drink and party with them, might work for immature teenagers. But eventually they'll have to grow up like everybody else.

Personal choice and sticking to it is one thing, but you should also make sure that your choice makes some kind of sense to the people close to you if you want to keep them that way. And considering that his friends are all having fun getting drunk together occasionally, I'd say that it's a fair chance that they find his decision to be rather senseless.

 

[Shoto Koto]

Why do ladies do that? Why do guys take beauty as skin deep? Why do just as many ladies do this, matter of fact, why do humans do it? Why do people fight pointless wars? Why do people take dangerous drugs? Why does justin beiber have an audience? Why is horror not scary anymore? Why do people watch the jeremy kyle show, why why why?

Many things confuse me and many others about society. Sometimes, there may not be a logical answer.

Talk about avoiding the question...

OT: Maybe it's a lack of good feeling in that club, why don't you try plying them with a little social lubricant (read alcohol)?

 

[Ocelano]

This is really why I prefer going to pubs and bars instead of clubs.
Really, clubs are crap for socializing. It's far too crowded and noisy to talk.
There are plenty of women who are happier talking to a guy in a regular bar.

Maybe in your local I fear a shocking lack of females at mine and the ones who are there you would want no part of

 

[Nickolai77]

So my friends tell me =P

However, I don't drink alcoholic drinks, and I don't get drunk, period.
Life choice of mine.

Ok, i'm not really meaning to offend you know but I suspect that your friends might have a pretty low opinion about you behind your back.

Your probably half-right here, but if your with proper, genuine friends they should not mind wherever you decide to drink or not. A couple of my friends don't drink, and i don't think any of the less of them for it, it simply means however that i don't invite them on night-out's because i know they won't like it.

Oh, and as for your earlier post, i've been to many nightclubs drunk and i still don't really enjoy them, instead as a uni student i've merely learnt to tolerate them. If it means i have to get so drunk i vomit and wake up with a hangover the next morning in order to actually enjoy the music, then i don't really think i'm willing to go that far.

****

Yeah clubbing is certainly something i don't enjoy doing, but because of the friends i make i often end up in nightclubs. I'd have thought after two years the club music may have grown on me, but it hasn't- it's still just as dull, tedious and loud as it was when i first went to clubs. That and you can't have a conversation with anyone, communication is based largely on body-language, and i hate that, it's not something i can do. But then again, i've been to clubs which play metal music, and had a great time there.

Generally though i prefer pubs- mates, alcohol, a game of pool, that kind of deal works well for me. As for the trend the OP describes, can't say i've ever noticed it- most of the time it's girls and boys dancing, drinking and having a good time with their friends- male or female.

 

[Blow_Pop]

Its because they want to go out and "be seen" but guys approaching them is creepy. I don't do this personally but I am also highly antisocial. Though I also don't have many girl friends. I have one. They feel they need to pretty themselves up but they judge their self worth on how many guys try and approach them and then later go and post it on the internet that "OMG they had so much fun at (insert club) but they didn't dance with any boys boo hoo" In other words they are basically drama queens and not worth anyone's damn time unless that's exactly what you want.....And that's a different topic altogether. Go to a bar/pub to meet women if you want to take it the bar/club scene for meeting women. Me personally WHEN I go out other than work(I meet new people every day and a good portion of them I scare and send running hehehehehe)I tend to hang out in bookstores, music stores, and gaming stores. I'll talk to a man if he comes up to me and talks to me but mostly I stay to myself(shy, quiet, nerdy, gamer girl).

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

Those girls were probably looking at you wondering why you were fixated on them and not others on the dance floor. Look, if they want to get all prettied up and not socialize that's their thing. At least they weren't doing the predatory "Hey wanna buy me a drink" <receive drink, walk away, repeat with next idiot> routine.

True enough
But when they do, I have found the best answer ever is to simply, look them up and down, and say "Sorry darlin', you're just not my type"( or something fitting your particular way of speaking to the same effect) and go back to drinking and enjoying yourself... other women will see this as a strength not common in men, and you may be in a better position for getting some later, if that is what you're after... also the way they tend to react is a real ego boost... Or maybe I'm just cruel.

Look at it this way, did you get all pimped out to go to the club and just gripe about girls that don't want to dance? Even if you did get those girls attention, do you think they would be that much fun to dance or socialize with? Hell if you think about it, they're playing you without even looking at you. Let those girls stay in the corner and let the douchebags posture over them. Pay attention to girls that are out there having fun and socializing.

True, if they're being boring, they may just BE boring people, no point in losing sleep over it or even bothering to think about them...

Or just go to gay clubs like I do. EVERYONE there (male and female) is having fun!

This^ or just go to a pub or a bar, depending where you live, it may be that all the actually decently interesting and entertaining people are going to pubs and bars where you live and the clubs are just for posers losers and preps who have no interest in anything but mindgames, being snobby, and generally just being the way some people like to be, assholes... Sad, I know, but true.

Just remember when relating with the ladies, you gotta be interesting, different, and funny, women generally ignore people who act, speak and are for all intents and purposes the SAME as the last 200+ guys who've hit on them, so if you're going out to find women and actually get anywhere with them even so far as polite conversation, prepare yourself mentally, get some jokes ready, situational is the best, and for the love of god, don't let yourself slouch or lean in to them, it's a sign of needyness and insecurity...

/end rant

 

[Akyho]

Thing is......I danced the worse moves you can...the funky chicken was used!!

Because I know I'm an awful dancer, my standard tactic is to copy the worst dancer I can see, that, or lately its gettin my mates to do the inbetweeners dance with me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ntVyNrxLTo&feature=related oh yes!!

Oh yes... There is footage of me danceing on youtube. Danceing at a night club with an anime theme night. Dancing to FF7 Battle theme. Yes it is possible and here is it a dance battle to FF7 Battle music. I am half way through and the bald one with the jacket full of badges. I won the dance off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqR69u89xVQ

 

[Spy_Guy]

So my friends tell me =P

However, I don't drink alcoholic drinks, and I don't get drunk, period.
Life choice of mine.

Spoiler: Snip

Ok, i'm not really meaning to offend you know but I suspect that your friends might have a pretty low opinion about you behind your back.

Trust me "that guy" who refuse to drink and pretty much hate going out to clubs while his friends are all having a good time tend to create a somewhat bad reputation. And if you're not careful, you might just end up on a slippery slope where your friends simply don't call you or get in touch with you anymore.

And it's not because it's "good" to drink alcohol, it is actually quite healthy to refrain from doing so. BUT, getting drunk once in awhile isn't very likely to kill you or cause you serious long-term harm AND consuming alcohol is actually something more than just "using a drug" like most people seem to believe. It's actually a cultural and above all SOCIAL tradition that has been around for thousands of years.

It's sort of like a "rite of passage" so to say, especially among good friends. They want to see what their friends are all like when they drop some inhibitions and self-control and see if they're still "good people", away from all the politeness and niceties that people (even friends) maintain when completely sober.

Now if your friends are good people, chances are that they'll never actually tell you that they think you're a stuck-up snoozefest, but try to maintain contact with you as much as possible. Heck some might even manage to put up with you for several more years.

But the fact of the matter is that on some level, most people tend to feel "betrayed" or that they're somehow "rejected" when someone who they consider a friend refuse to get drunk with them. And this will show after repeated instances where their friends refuse to partake in the festivities and alcohol consumption.

Im not going to tell you what to do or anything (it's your choice), but I think you should know that there's more to consuming alcohol with your friends and get intoxicated than simple, mindless drug usage. And really consider if you want to run the risk of being viewed as "that guy" by the people you call friends.

And if you just think im full of shit here, then try to get a litle one-on-one time with one of them and ask them to tell you honestly if they feel wierd about you refusing to join in every time. Chances are that some of them will think/feel like you're rejecting them/their choices or that you're somehow "better" than them, and it's likely that this attitude will fester if you don't ever bring it up and communicate about it.

Also, please disregard this if your choice stems from a previous history of alcohol abuse. If you have a predisposition towards developing addictions, then it would be best to stay away from alcohol, and your friends would most likely be more understanding of your situation if they knew about it.

In any case: main point here is that there's more "bonding" in partying with friends (alcohol consumption included) and perhaps doing some stupid shit while doing it than you might think, and it would certainly not be a disservice to yourself to think it through a little with a newer perspective when you've basically decided to refuse to do something that there's nothing inherently wrong with doing.

First of all, let me apologize for not replying to your long post with one in kind.

I also appear to have made a slight error in my post.
I meant that...
My "friends" used to tell me that. =P

You see, all of those people wanted to get me drunk for the lulz [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForTheEvulz] of it. How can I trust people like that?

No, I have a bunch of true friends who don't drink in turn, and we manage amazingly without the "bonding experience" inherent in drinking.

The interesting thing is that some people who drink a lot get very defensive when I talk about this sort of thing. I can't seem to understand why.
You talk about social pressure, but that all depends on the people you hang out with.

Still, it's interesting having to defend a choice like that, from people who think I'm a complete drag around friends, even though they know absolutely nothing about that sort of thing.

Still, it's all good. I don't judge people who do drink, so they have no need to justify it to me; even though most of them tend to do that anyway. =P

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

I've never understood why people frequent clubs anyway. Too loud music with annoying DJ's who think they're hot shit playing other people's albums (with notable exception of actual PRO DJ's who can mix/mash music but are rare to find at clubs) women who are snotty and pretentious and overpriced mixed drinks served by plastic bimbos who are only interested in your tips. I just don't get it. Sure dancing can be fun, but paying a cover charge and waiting in line to get in a place that doesn't seem to want anyone but beautiful trendy people seems like an exercise in contempt for the less fortunate looking among us.
I'd rather go to a bar "where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came" so to speak, pay for whats on tap at a reasonable (if still steep) price and listen to the collection of cover bands who might be good at what they do but probably not good enough to get a record contract, shoot some pool and maybe take a cab home.
Now you might think that I'm some bitter fat ugly freak who hates people better looking than myself, which isn't true. I just don't understand what draws people to places that would in a heartbeat boot them from the scene if they suddenly didn't fit the profile. But then I'm not shallow, and can never truly understand that mode of perception.

 

[game-lover]

I don't go to clubs for the reason that I don't want to be like those girls.

Which makes me think that probably some of those girls are:

1)Dragged there by their friends probably against their will so no, they really aren't in the mood to dance and just wanna go the fuck home.

2)Incredibly self-conscious about their dancing and basically don't wanna embarrass themselves

or...

3)Not the slightest bit interested in the music which takes away any urge to dance whatsoever.



All 3 of those are the reasons why I've stood. Of course, I don't like going anyway so usually I was in the situation of number 1 all the time. Until people got off my damn back and stop insisting I accompany them.

 

[Phantomess]

The most hilarious thing about this is that I know I'm just as guilty of this as those girls. Let me explain:

I live above two bars AND a nightclub. Most of the time, it's pretty busy in my building. Its fun and I'm friends with the DJs who work there. The bouncers all know me on sight and I'm occasionally treated to a free drink at either of the bars.

Some days I will happily get dressed up (so as not to feel out of place) and listen to the music downstairs while standing or sitting in the corner. Sometimes I even have friends with me who do the same thing. It's not really an antisocial thing; at least, for me it isn't. It's about the music and what I enjoy.

I can't speak for the girls you are talking about, but there is at least that reason for their actions. Hey, it's a possibility, right?

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Have you considered the possibility that the girls were there to talk to their friends and drink? Granted, I usually prefer a quieter bar for socializing, but some people like to do it at clubs.

So yeah, those women might just be there to hang out with one another and drink. They may not want to dance at all. I think it's an odd place to do it, but I don't think they're just trying to cock-tease you.

Really, on the average day, having a bunch of random semi-drunk guys hit on you isn't ego-affirming - it's just annoying.

You know, I understand doing this in a bar, especially if it's got, say, pool tables, darts, or a trivia night, but at a club? Most clubs that I've been to keep the music so loud that to actually talk to anyone, you have to put your mouth right next to their ear, and you still wind up shouting. Not exactly the most conducive environment for hanging out with people. I agree that it's probably not an attempt at a cock tease (wouldn't that require at least some semblance of feigned interest, instead of the complete disinterest the OP was talking about?) but I don't think they're there to just hang out.

I think it's more likely that they went out as a group, and some or all of them just aren't as comfortable dancing with strangers as they'd like to think they are. I'm a guy, and every time I go to a club with a group of guys, I'm one of a very few that actually gets on the floor and dances. The rest of them stand on the side-lines, too embarrassed or scared to actually ask anyone to dance. I have a feeling the OP was dealing with girls going through their own version of that particular form of stage fright.

 

[Tselis]

Sorry hon, I met my husband when I was 19, so I never really got into the 'club scene'. If there was live music there, then maybe they came to see it. Otherwise, I can't think of a reason why they make the effort to go to a place and then not participate in the main function of the place. I know I only have a passing relationship with sanity as times, but that is just crazy to me. Wasteful too.