What to do if you're seated next to a jerk on an airplane

[WickedSkin]

I'd play PSP or set myself on fire. If you were a jerk, would you sit right next to someone who is on fire? No you wouldn't.

 

[liljabba]

giggle and pretend to argue with an invisible person about the best way to dispose of a baby's torso

 

[Foxbat Flyer]

Im going on a flight from Sydney to Rome at the end of the year and i talked my partents into coming with me so this doesnt happen to me... butif something did happen and i had to sit next to some jerk, Id probably ignore him untill i cant bear it any more, then yell at him. either that or drag him to the escape hatch and throw him out, then throw anyone else who trys to stop me, then grab the pilots and do the same, then fly the plane home

 

[SnipErlite]

IM not clicking that link, If its NSFW remove it.

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OT: Ill just drink apple juice, The toxic gas my body creates would EASILY out-do any Jackassery of any passenger.

It's actually just a suspicious looking countdown from 60 seconds with some middle-eastern looking text strung about the place. Kinda amusing.

Yeah I would consider doing that but I don't like getting arrested....

It's Arabic.
It says something like "Big Guy is Fat guy" both at bottom and top as far as I can tell.

Oh right, heh. Still, unnerving for whoever the jerk next to you is.

 

[lacktheknack]

IM not clicking that link, If its NSFW remove it.

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OT: Ill just drink apple juice, The toxic gas my body creates would EASILY out-do any Jackassery of any passenger.

It's not NSFW, it's an Islamic time bomb.

It's a horrible thing to do on a plane.

 

[VanityGirl]

All my years of flying have told me to just ignore a jerk. If he insists on acting like an asshole to you, the attendants, or anyone else and will not stop, then just say "Listen fella/lady, this is a long flight and it would go a lot smoother if you would just act like a civil human."

That will usually make them flare for a second, then be quite.

 

[lacktheknack]

I usually just stare at them until they shut up. If you've ever watched stargate SG1, I give them the teal'c look, and because I'm fairly big, they shut up quickly.

Brilliant! I've got to try this. If only I was black...

 

[The Undoer]

Breath really heavily and pop bubblewrap, he'll think your mad and try to find an empty seat to sit in.

 

[SnipErlite]

Very true. Without knowing the language it's impossible to tell what's going on! People probably think it's "Death to America" or whatnot.

Well if you're a silly ignorant American person, then you'd probably freak out - lulz would ensue.

Or being arrested. Either.

 

[the idiot computer]

Eat baked beans... Enough said.

 

[SupabadMan]

If I was sitting next to a jerk I'd say

STFU. k thankx bai. =3

 

[antidonkey]

The only problem with your plan is if you are in the air you'll be paying a good chunk of money just to access that site. Depending on the jerkiness, I'd rather just punch them in the throat.

 

[CSB Fisher]

Be 10x more of a jerk back to that guy.

You know, fight fire with your fist.

I assume your not a firefighter?

Firefighter ha! I don't even know what a firefighter is.

Surley puching fire counts as fire fighting.

 

[Armored Prayer]

Be 10x more of a jerk back to that guy.

You know, fight fire with your fist.

I assume your not a firefighter?

Firefighter ha! I don't even know what a firefighter is.

Surley puching fire counts as fire fighting.

Actually when you put it that way it does make sense. Why didn't I catch that?

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

That is the single greatest thing I have ever seen. Reminds me of that thing on Family Guy:

"This is worse than the time I got that Taliban Alarm Clock!" *beep beep beep* *presses button* ALAUGAHBAZZA! *BOOM!*

 

[case_orange]

Yeah I would consider doing that but I don't like getting arrested....

Yeah, that's my first reaction, too.

In this day and age that would, if nothing else, lead to a plane-wide panic, if not a long, stern discussion with an air marshal.