What was your reaction when...
- Thread starter MasterOfWorlds
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We were dating. I told her first. We were kind of mutually obsessed with eachother. Apparently she had decided to tell me the same day. I was likely elated.
Of course, when all she could say about me was that she loved me, like she was some kind of broken record, I began to wonder what it was she really loved. Someone's been dating you for three and a half years and all she can say is "I love you" and "you're perfect" and you start questioning the depth of those statements. Naive as first year university me was, he still knew he certainly wasn't perfect. And then he wasn't so certainly in love.
And that's why I drink alone.
Of course, when all she could say about me was that she loved me, like she was some kind of broken record, I began to wonder what it was she really loved. Someone's been dating you for three and a half years and all she can say is "I love you" and "you're perfect" and you start questioning the depth of those statements. Naive as first year university me was, he still knew he certainly wasn't perfect. And then he wasn't so certainly in love.
And that's why I drink alone.
I've been told "I love you" by a few very close friends, and said I love them back. And it's true; as far as I'm concerned they're family. I was also told this by my one (now ex-) girlfriend. Unfortunately that was her just being a Disney-brainwashed child and parroting it back to me.
Once when I was twelve, I told a girl I loved her over the interwebs. I had maybe said 3 sentences to her in real life. She said she loved me back. I was twelve.
Then when I was sixteen. I had been dating a girl for about a week who I had liked for a good year before that. We fooled around, and I had been starting to think that I was taking advantage of her (first girl I made out with) and she told me she loved me over a text message. After less than a week of dating (for emphasis).
I did the ever so suave and romantic "thanks" and of course I got back "that's it?" I then told her, "Yeah, me too". Lying to a girl that you love her is a very hard thing to do.
After that, I began to seriously reconsider that particular relationship and broke it off with her a week later. I felt proud of myself, because she offered to have sex with me before I broke it off.
A year later, I got handjob from said girl. I then felt obligated to help her run away from her parents. Nearly was arrested. 2 years later (present), she is now dating my best friend. She is legally insane, apparently. I really do want to tell my friend that there is a good chance she is using him (tried banging my other friend to annoy me), but i cant bring myself to do it.
Also two years ago I got into what I considered my first real relationship. It lasted to months, I got a little too tipsy on New years and told her "Happy New Years, Love ya lots" (She took it as, "I love you", when in reality I didn't actually think I had said anything to crazy). She said she loved me back, but I didn't mind to much. I really liked this girl, so I kind of just let it pass, careful not to say it again. 6 months later, shit hit the fan. She kind of held that against me, got her friends to turn on me, and ended it. There is a lot more to that story, most of it realistically her fault, but I would rather just not bring up that particular instance. It still makes me rage to this day.
So yeah, I have been very careful with my relationships since then. Mostly too careful (didn't make my move and sure enough someone else swooped in), but careful nonetheless. Last year I was pretty dejected from relationships. I had a short little skirmish with the crazy girl, another week long relationship with someone I had yet again taken advantage of, so I basically decided it wasn't for me. I've gotten loads better though.
Then when I was sixteen. I had been dating a girl for about a week who I had liked for a good year before that. We fooled around, and I had been starting to think that I was taking advantage of her (first girl I made out with) and she told me she loved me over a text message. After less than a week of dating (for emphasis).
I did the ever so suave and romantic "thanks" and of course I got back "that's it?" I then told her, "Yeah, me too". Lying to a girl that you love her is a very hard thing to do.
After that, I began to seriously reconsider that particular relationship and broke it off with her a week later. I felt proud of myself, because she offered to have sex with me before I broke it off.
A year later, I got handjob from said girl. I then felt obligated to help her run away from her parents. Nearly was arrested. 2 years later (present), she is now dating my best friend. She is legally insane, apparently. I really do want to tell my friend that there is a good chance she is using him (tried banging my other friend to annoy me), but i cant bring myself to do it.
Also two years ago I got into what I considered my first real relationship. It lasted to months, I got a little too tipsy on New years and told her "Happy New Years, Love ya lots" (She took it as, "I love you", when in reality I didn't actually think I had said anything to crazy). She said she loved me back, but I didn't mind to much. I really liked this girl, so I kind of just let it pass, careful not to say it again. 6 months later, shit hit the fan. She kind of held that against me, got her friends to turn on me, and ended it. There is a lot more to that story, most of it realistically her fault, but I would rather just not bring up that particular instance. It still makes me rage to this day.
So yeah, I have been very careful with my relationships since then. Mostly too careful (didn't make my move and sure enough someone else swooped in), but careful nonetheless. Last year I was pretty dejected from relationships. I had a short little skirmish with the crazy girl, another week long relationship with someone I had yet again taken advantage of, so I basically decided it wasn't for me. I've gotten loads better though.
Terrified. If someone says 'I love you' to me, and means it, at this age, then that is bloody terrifying. Just not ready for it. That being said, I was a little thrilled the first time that happened. But still terrified. If doesn't happen again for the next ten years of my life or so, then I'll be fine.
First time my boyfriend said it to me was new years last year. He'd already told me that he loved me but not using those exact words so I already knew he was going to say it but it still felt incredibly good to hear. He made sure that he was looking me in the eye before he said it and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of me or something. We kissed a couple of times and then I said it back and then he hugged me really tight. Quite possibly the best night of my life.
I don't know if I should laugh or not. All I shall say is that you must have been doing something right. XDAndy of Comix Inc said:
I...had a situation very similar to that. XDTdc2182 said:
When I was in highschool, I dated a girl for all the wrong reasons (not for sex, it's a long and complicated story). Anyway, one night on a date, she told me that she loved me, I told her flat out that I liked her, but I didn't think that I loved her. She said that she was OK with it.
Sometime later, she came to me (we were still dating) and said that she loved me again and knew that I loved her too. Apperently (much like you), I had said something somewhere that she interpreted as "I love you." and she tried to win my love by trying to sleep with me.
By this point, I had studied a bit of psychology and since I had been dating her for a while, I noticed that she was a few cans short of a six pack as Dr. Weird would say.
I didn't sleep with her because I didn't feel like it would have been right to take advantage of a girl who so obviously was just seeking approval and wasn't exactly stable. I thought she was bipolar and possibly schizophrenic. About two years after we stopped dating, she calls me out of the blue, "Guess what? You were right. I went to a shrink the other day and they said I was bipolar and schizophrenic!" in a voice a little too cheery for my tastes.
She's engaged now, refused to take her meds, and convinced that all doctors in any form are evil. Luckily she hates the idea of having children so much that she is at least on birth control. Did I mention that she became a nymphomaniac right after I broke up with her?
Oh yeah, I've had my share of crazy. That's a pie I'd rather skip out on, thanks. XD
My best female friend did that once, being who i was at the time i just said simply "I'm too unstable for a relationship, it won't work out and i won't see you hurt, especially not by me"
I felt kind of like a jack ass when she started to cry so i just hugged her and let her cry it out, after the sobbing ended we resumed our friendship as if nothing happened, which is better than i realistically expected.
I felt kind of like a jack ass when she started to cry so i just hugged her and let her cry it out, after the sobbing ended we resumed our friendship as if nothing happened, which is better than i realistically expected.
See? I wish the girl I was after for a bit could've just told me that up front instead of stringing me along for a bit. Sadly, girls are rarely as upfront as guys about such things, at least in my experience.viper3 said:
This. It was... awkward... =SKeepitclean said:
OT: My last relationship lasted for about a year, unfortunately neither her or I could handle a long-distance relationship. Needless to say, that while we both loved each other, and made sure that we said it to each other on a daily basis, her living in fucking Florida and me living in the UK was a bad idea from the off.
It's really pretty meaningless to me unfortunately (for me). I still feel love though, I just get nothing out of people saying it. I remember the first time I was in love though. I was walking to her house and I suddenly understood the lyrics to The Police song 'Walking on the moon'. I could hardly feel my feet I had so much energy.
This.Because this time its real and true.starfox444 said:
But the first times girls said it to me were really weird. First time was on our more or less first "date" (it started spontaneously at 1 a.m. at night, and wasnt really a date, but a walk through the fields that ended up at my place)
second time was after ...like 2 or 3 days when we were saying goodbye, i was totally confused and lied it back without thinking about it. Never met that girl again.
(i defeated the urge to make a bad "Yup everytime when his girlfriend says it" joke yay
)
Ooooo! I remember my first time this ever happened to me.
Hearing it from someone, it was my third boyfriend when I was 17. We were together for about 3 1/2 years, and it was really nice, because although there was a little bit of shock (and my heart rate increased exponentially), at the same time I knew I felt the same and so I said it back and it was very lovely.
Saying it to someone, was when I was seeing one of my last boyfriends. We were just messing about laughing at something on the computer then we made jokes at each other and it was really funny. Then after about 10 minutes of ridiculous laughing, he'd said to me something along the lines of "it's so great we can just joke about stuff and we know what not to take personally" and I just came out with "yeah I know, I love you" *cue hideous silence* "erm... I love you too?" *phew*
Hearing it from someone, it was my third boyfriend when I was 17. We were together for about 3 1/2 years, and it was really nice, because although there was a little bit of shock (and my heart rate increased exponentially), at the same time I knew I felt the same and so I said it back and it was very lovely.
Saying it to someone, was when I was seeing one of my last boyfriends. We were just messing about laughing at something on the computer then we made jokes at each other and it was really funny. Then after about 10 minutes of ridiculous laughing, he'd said to me something along the lines of "it's so great we can just joke about stuff and we know what not to take personally" and I just came out with "yeah I know, I love you" *cue hideous silence* "erm... I love you too?" *phew*