What Would You Want To Happen in 2012?
- Thread starter zHellas
- Start date
Recommended Videos
I want to get laid by Zhang Ziyi.
I really hope this happens.
After that the world can end for all I care, I will die content.
I really hope this happens.
After that the world can end for all I care, I will die content.
.
I hope all of the children in my school spontaneously combust.
I don't care if that makes me a horrible person; they are horrible people, and that's a plural, therefore signifying a greater amount of horrible people, and therefore they take priority.
Plus they are far more likely to go to jail rather than me.
I don't care if that makes me a horrible person; they are horrible people, and that's a plural, therefore signifying a greater amount of horrible people, and therefore they take priority.
Plus they are far more likely to go to jail rather than me.
Meteor crashing in to earth, that way in the afterlife when people ask how I died I can say I was killed by a fucking meteor!
A meteor or a huge flood. And I wanna see it coming, sitting on my roof, with a portable fridge next to me filled with beer. There was a report on the fucking news yesterday about the latest Lady Gaga videoclip. I shall welcome the end with open arms.
Predict what will happen in 21 months?
Picture it... January, 2012 in middle suburbia. Mom and dad are sitting with the kids around the dinner table, discussing their day and enjoying the freshly stable economy and world peace. The kids did excellent at school, dad just got a promotion, and mom is going to sell the publishing right to her life story tomorrow. As dad begins to slice up the ham for the night's meal, it happens.
First, dinner is interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Bob Sagat, working on his door-to-door comedy stops with Andy Dick. As dad locks and bolts the door, mom turns on the television to catch up on the news. President Palin announces that the secret government plan to combine two military projects has finally come together: synthetic life forms and the Star Wars program. That's right, President Palin has just announced the start of Skynet. A planned government space station crash happens in China, releasing twenty-five thousand made in the USA killer cyborgs to take over the country and convert their production areas into automated cybernetic organism factories, essentially robots making cyborgs. After just establishing world peace at the tail end of 2011, the world is unprepared for a mechanical revolution.
Remote servers in California, Seattle, and Vancouver click to life as a seemingly random code sequence is sent out across satellite and cellular signals. What seems like just random binary code is actually the trigger phrase implanted in MS and Apple coding, turning every computer, laptop, smart phone, hand-held game device and POS display to show the same phrase over and over again. Power plants step down into a standby mode, and all electrical device stops working. No more heat, no more water, no more flushing toilets, and no more internet. Mankind is now left in the proverbial dark with an army of cyborgs running loose. The industrialized world's military stop responding, having been taken over by President Palin's Skynet program, leaving the world defenseless against the cyborg menace.
People die by the hundreds of thousands in the beginning of 2012, and the landscape resembles a literal world war occurred on our landscapes. Corpses of people and machines litter the world, nuclear fallout clouding the atmosphere after Skynet launched a portion of the world's nuclear arsenal at a major military resistance in the West. Eventually, Skynet takes over the planet, creating a cyber-utopia in which the machines continue to evolve. Larger and larger machines are created until finally a cyborg as large as a star destroyer looms over the Earth, stretching a shadow that blankets most of the northern hemisphere. Then the machines will seek out new planets to conquer, becoming a universe plague.
And for the handful of surviving humans left, they wonder how it started. How one stupid woman from Alaska could bring forth the end of the world and life as we knew it. Easy... Palin sucks. To avoid this future, don't suggest or elect Palin to any government office again. She is the Miles Dyson of Cyberdine, people... I can't be the only one who sees this connection.
Also in 2012, gay people will relinquish control of the rainbow and kick it back to everyone else. Still, the cyborg apocalypse is not worth getting the rainbow back.
Picture it... January, 2012 in middle suburbia. Mom and dad are sitting with the kids around the dinner table, discussing their day and enjoying the freshly stable economy and world peace. The kids did excellent at school, dad just got a promotion, and mom is going to sell the publishing right to her life story tomorrow. As dad begins to slice up the ham for the night's meal, it happens.
First, dinner is interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Bob Sagat, working on his door-to-door comedy stops with Andy Dick. As dad locks and bolts the door, mom turns on the television to catch up on the news. President Palin announces that the secret government plan to combine two military projects has finally come together: synthetic life forms and the Star Wars program. That's right, President Palin has just announced the start of Skynet. A planned government space station crash happens in China, releasing twenty-five thousand made in the USA killer cyborgs to take over the country and convert their production areas into automated cybernetic organism factories, essentially robots making cyborgs. After just establishing world peace at the tail end of 2011, the world is unprepared for a mechanical revolution.
Remote servers in California, Seattle, and Vancouver click to life as a seemingly random code sequence is sent out across satellite and cellular signals. What seems like just random binary code is actually the trigger phrase implanted in MS and Apple coding, turning every computer, laptop, smart phone, hand-held game device and POS display to show the same phrase over and over again. Power plants step down into a standby mode, and all electrical device stops working. No more heat, no more water, no more flushing toilets, and no more internet. Mankind is now left in the proverbial dark with an army of cyborgs running loose. The industrialized world's military stop responding, having been taken over by President Palin's Skynet program, leaving the world defenseless against the cyborg menace.
People die by the hundreds of thousands in the beginning of 2012, and the landscape resembles a literal world war occurred on our landscapes. Corpses of people and machines litter the world, nuclear fallout clouding the atmosphere after Skynet launched a portion of the world's nuclear arsenal at a major military resistance in the West. Eventually, Skynet takes over the planet, creating a cyber-utopia in which the machines continue to evolve. Larger and larger machines are created until finally a cyborg as large as a star destroyer looms over the Earth, stretching a shadow that blankets most of the northern hemisphere. Then the machines will seek out new planets to conquer, becoming a universe plague.
And for the handful of surviving humans left, they wonder how it started. How one stupid woman from Alaska could bring forth the end of the world and life as we knew it. Easy... Palin sucks. To avoid this future, don't suggest or elect Palin to any government office again. She is the Miles Dyson of Cyberdine, people... I can't be the only one who sees this connection.
Also in 2012, gay people will relinquish control of the rainbow and kick it back to everyone else. Still, the cyborg apocalypse is not worth getting the rainbow back.
The Olympics actually being awesome. I'm not particularly pessimistic about them, it's just that the weather might turn really crap or it may just pale in comparison to Beijing, being in London and all. I think the opening ceremony should go just fine if Boris Johnson gets in on the act though.
Nothing so I can be nasty to the apocolaypse beleivers!!
TAKE THAT THE WORLD DID NOT END HA!!
(no offence intended beleivers)
TAKE THAT THE WORLD DID NOT END HA!!
(no offence intended beleivers)
The london olympics, I should hope.
What? I may live in hope of an eventual zombie uprising, but I don't believe in this particular doomsday theory.
What? I may live in hope of an eventual zombie uprising, but I don't believe in this particular doomsday theory.