What's the funniest video game line ever?

[FoAmY99]

Republic Commando

Scorch: (while planting a demo charge) Was it red red green? Or red green red?
Sev: "And he's supposed to be the demolitions expert?"

Scorch: Boss, Looks like we're going to have blow that rubble in order to get to our next objective, and I'm not just saying that because I like to blow stuff up.
Sev: Yes you are!

Scorch: No one can match my leet hackzor skillz"

Mass Effect 1

Tali: So, Dr. T'Soni, all these Prothean ruins we're exploring - this must be like a survey for you.

Liara: Not exactly. For one, I am usually alone on my expeditions, and two, they involve much more time for study... and far fewer explosions.

Tali: Yes, it's a pity that most of the technology I had planned to bring back to the Flotilla has subsequently tried to kill us.

Mass Effect 2

Shepard: Well if I know Grunt, your reply will be coming at muzzle velocity

Grunt: You DO know Grunt!

Legion: Geth do not infiltrate... Geth do not intentionally infiltrate.

EDI: I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.

Shepard: Sorry I cant hear you, i'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line.

Garrus: You know me, I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink. Wait... that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.

 

[TomCorf]

'Hi, I'm Nick Kang and I'm your carjacker for today.'
True Crime: Streets of LA

Or

Pierce: 'If that was me that asshole never would have got away'
Your Character: 'Sure you would'
Pierce: 'Yeah, HEY!'
Saints Row 2

Or

Chloe: 'is that a Tibetan Ritual dagger I feel in your pocket?'
Drake: 'maybe I'm just happy to see you.'
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

 

[Rainheart]

"Can it wait for a bit? I am in the middle of some calbrations..." Garrus in Mass Effect 2.
There is an entire 'Motivationals'-Thread in the Bioware Forums. It is fun. Truly fun.

 

[ldbmikey86]

(From GTA: San Andreas) CJ talking to Wu Zi after finding out that he's blind.

CJ: "Well, you DO know that I'm black, right?"

Wu Zi: "Carl, I'm blind, not stupid."

or one of the many one-liners from Joker in Batman: AA

 

[HT_Black]

"...Now ya'll be real nice to her, hear, or I'll bury you where I buried Lucky. ...Yeah, I killed him. Don't act all surprised, I told ya'll I was gonna do it!" ~Scooter, in The Secret Armory of General Knoxx.

 

[The Anhk24]

anything a claptrap says (espcially the evil one) and a grunt that im pretty sure said "eat this and die" in halo 3

 

[Skullmaster123]

You were almost a jill sandwich!

 

[ineedscissors]

I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your neck!

 

[Lullabye]

Any one of Mr.Champloo's lectures in Disgaea 3. "It may not make sense to you, but to him my words should be piercing through like a peeled onion!"

 

[Valkyira]

"War Does Not Decide Who Is Right, But Who Is Left" Call Of Duty 4

Why wouldn't anyone chose this, its the truth.

You should be ashamed. The quote is in Call of Duty 4 yes. But it was Bertrand Russell who said it.

 

[razerdoh]

"This is all Joker's fault, what a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing Pi because he plugged in the Overlord!"

Joker - ME2

 

[Jamieson 90]

Be careful not to bring old threads back to life.....

 

[XJ-0461]

Any of the Bruce Campbell lines in Spider-man: the movie: the game, or Spider-man 3: the movie: the game.

They are all awesome.

 

[Meatman]

Mihn Young Kim from Gears 2 multiplayer

*Locust dies from hammer of dawn*
"Ouchy, better get some cream"


2nd place, Baird from Gears 2

*Picks up locust as a meat shield*
"Don't worry, this wont hurt a bit... You'll just die"

 

[rt052192]

Orphan Ollie: "I'm an orphan!"

From Dragon Age:Origins

in context it was hilarious!

 

[Andantil]

"I got better" - Commander Shepard

 

[challenger001]

Mercenaries 2:

Hey, why does smoke fill cockpit? Yaaaaaaagh! -Misha

Half Life 2 Episode 1:

"Well, he's a robot, he's done the math. (You have done the math, haven't you?)" -Alyx

Portal 2:

"Oh, it's you... It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know... after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us. For science. You monster." - GLaDOS

Assassin's Creed 2:

Maria: He (Leo Da Vinci) is so expressive. You should find an outlet.
Ezio: I have many outlets.
Mario: I mean besides vaginas.
Ezio: Mother!

 

[nick n stuff]

armed and dangerous. "you are french" "run away"