What's the funniest video game line ever?

[Koeryn]

"War Does Not Decide Who Is Right, But Who Is Left" Call Of Duty 4

Why wouldn't anyone chose this, its the truth.

They wouldn't because it's not an original quote from the game. It's attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1886-1950), who was an Irish playwright and the only person to win both a Nobel Prize and an Oscar. The more ya know, right?

Oh, and it's not funny, as has been mentioned before.

Hmm... Funny qoutes?

From MDK2:

Dr. Hawkins: "If he can just keep his pants on, our luck may be changing."

 

[Ultress]

Are You a Landowner-Gallows, Wild Arms 3, the way he says it makes me laugh so hard.

Also Coach Olinindar: You're slower than molasses going up hill in January... with crutches.

The Phoenix Wright series has a cavalcade of great lines too.

 

[Jonatron]

'I smoke becuz it gives me knowledge!'

Random guy in San Andreas. Only heard the line once, but will never forget it.

 

[Dread Pirate Pete]

And they just keep coming

?Ahh, the middle finger, the most communicative of fingers.?
? Guybrush, when looking at the middle finger of the giant hand in the Voodoo Lady's shop

 

[Koeryn]

Oh, and

"I can't fly here!"

Though, I suppose it's not so much funny as it is frustrating that Arokh can't walk three paces to the left to where he CAN fly...

 

[Araym]

I don't remember the line exactly but,

"Manny, until now we've crawled around the ground like rats, but now we'll soar like eagles....eagles on pogo sticks!"

and Grim Fandango in general.

 

[fatmann55]

just about anything from portal that the carzy computer chicks says

 

[Insanum]

"Kick His Ass"
"yeah! Kick his ass!"

The Paint Can & brush talking to the pitchfork in Conkers Bad Fur Day. In fact, Most things from that game.

 

[hazakura]

"Control...this is...agh...I uh...I...I don't know where to begin....ah,just get us the hell out of here." -Marcus Fenix, after killing the riftworm (THAT GIANT WORM!!!!1!)

or

"Who wants toast!?!?"
"I WANT MINE CRISPY!"
"I LIKE MINE BURNT ON THE OUTSIDE!"
-Marcus,dom and cole after finding the toaster easter egg.
Edit: Ninja'd, damnit.
or



Cole: "Delta Squad is in your house, *****! You hear that shit?! You grubby-ass bitches are goin' down! Like way down--dead down... so down you ain't even gonna know which way is up!

Your asses are gonna be cryin' to your skanky-ass queen! Oh mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us! Fuck you! We gonna whup your momma's ass! Woo!"

Baird: "There we go. One muzzled queen. Not you, her. You were great... I love your speech there, especially with the *****-ass stuff. Very good, very enlightening."

 

[Lordmarkus]

"A little bit o' gas, a little spark and BOOM! Instant barbeque."

Company of Heroes - Engineer squad on getting a flamethrower.

 

[Trivun]

I can't believe no-one has mentioned Sgt. Johnson yet. He is the epitome of badass

- "Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up our raggedy ass fleet!"

- Don't they teach you kids how to swear in basic anymore?

- Usually the good Lord works in mysterious ways, but not today. This here is 66 tons of straight-up, HE-spewing, dee-vine intervention. If God is love, then you can call me Cupid!

- Cortana: Thanks for the tank. He [Master Chief] never gets me anything.
[Sergeant Johnson boards the Pelican and pulls charging lever on gun turret]
Sergeant Johnson: Oh, I know what the ladies like!

- Chips Dubbo: Woah... it's like a postcard!... "Dear Sarge: Kicking ass in outer space... Wish you were here!"
Sergeant Johnson: I heard that, jackass!

- Then they must love the smell of bad-ass!

 

[Internet Kraken]

"May I borrow your earpiece? This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry! Over!" [http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/c/c7/Spy_DominationScout06.wav]

-The Spy

 

[dthvirus]

"You, the master of unlocking." - Resident Evil.

"Awwright, cut the chatter ladies. Drop your socks and grab your throttle. Confederate platform verified and locked. This one's all yours, Hardie. YEEEEEHAAAAAAWWWWW"- StarCraft, Wraith pilot.

 

[Mr Companion]

Psychonauts.
I am the milkman my milk is delicious, it is fortified with what the world needs, what the world deserves

Actually it's what the world WANTS what the world deserves, I really should not know these things.

Anyway my character in guild wars once said "RURIC NOO" in the scene where ruric dies.
Its only funny because it was so completely out of character, My friends were playing too it is humiliating really.

 

[CrazT]

not a quote as such, but...
Wolfenstien: Enemy Territory - Kill Ticker
"Mongoose25 was killed to death!"

 

[Bloodstain]

Soldier: Mon dieu! I hate bridges! Zat was for killing my fathaire! Bridge!
Fred: Hey, quit killing my bridges! You're making me mad!


Psychonauts is awesome.^^

 

[paranoidhalfbreed]

At the end of Conkers Bad Fur Day when you fight the alien and try to throw it out of the airlock, I missed enough times the computer told me, "YOUR NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS."

 

[Rancid0ffspring]

The RvB easter eggs in Halo 3 [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waL8K2SGR1M]

HAHA yeah they are good. It's not RvB but from halo 3 but how about

'Hey! How does 90mm of tungsten strike ya?'

Made me laugh at the time

Edit: not a quote but something from being killed in slayer/deathmatches

You were killed by a random brick
you were killed by a rabid panda