What's the funniest video game line ever?

[Hookman]

"There are 8 million corpses in this level...and you're one of them."

 

[couldn'tthinkofaname]

Timesplitters 3

"My mommy sucks lollipops in hell"

 

[ZombieGenesis]

To quote a favourite M.P.

"I came when I heard you beat the Elite Four!"
Professor Oak. He came.

 

[gremily]

WHOLE TEAM IS BABIES! WHO SENT ALL THESE BABIES TO FIGHT! LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR BABY GUNS... SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[esperandote]

*burp**burp**burp**burp**burp**burp**burp**burp* Nurse falling down the stairs - SH4

 

[Ravenseeker]

i think we can all agree that anything from Portal should be on this list.

Psychonauts: "this makes me feel like i'm back in high school.... which is weird since i'm ten years old" Raz in the Spaniard's mind

Brutal Legend: "there, thick as a baby's arm" Killmaster

Arkham Asylum: "what's your deepest fear Bats? the knowledge that you might not be able to save the Commissioner? the suspense of the thought of not being able to stop me? ME? IN A THONG?" Joker right before your first encounter with Scarecrow

 

[MGlBlaze]

"War Does Not Decide Who Is Right, But Who Is Left" Call Of Duty 4

Why wouldn't anyone chose this, its the truth.

That is used as a joke in Fallout 3, but I don't find it very funny; it is an unfortunate truth, after all, and I tend not to find ultimately morbid stuff funny. That's just me though.

Except for a lot of things GLaDOS says.
"The portals created by the apeture science handheld portal device have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. [continue adding things you should absolutely never do with the portal gun]"
"Now that you have acquired both portals, this next text could take a very long time. If you begin feeling faint from thirst, feel free to pass out. An Apeture Science personnel will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."
"Please assume the party submission position, or you will miss the party."
"Hey, remember that time when I was pretending to murder you and lowering you into the fire and I was all 'Goodbye' and you were all 'NO WAY!'. Yeah. That was great..."
"I was just kidding, really, this gas isn't deadly at all. To me..."
"That's YOU! That's how dumb you sound!"
"There! I deleted it! Now, whatever happens, you're DEAD."

Also, the scene in TimeSplitters 3 when Cortez and Anya are waiting on the elevator. That scene was extremely funny to me for some reason.

Also, the two old-crow meets young-crow sections in the game were hilarious too; the later one especially so.
"Don't be alarmed! It's me! Your younger self! I've come from the past to give you this time device! You must take it, and-"
"-Ah! I think I know the rest." (For those of you who haven't played TS3; 1) Shame on you. 2) Cortez had just inadvertently explained all the actions old-crow was about to take to set off the whle chain of events in the first place.)

 

[Undeleted]

 

[ygetoff]

"You smell very clean," Haggard.
OR
"This war's gotta end sometime!"
"You wash your mouth out with soap!"
- Sweetwater and Haggard

"I remember my first shotgun... I was the happiest 5-year-old in town."
-Haggard
"Drop your weapons!"
"You and what army?"
-U.S. Army and Haggard

 

[madman485]

not exactly from a game but from the meet the soldier video for TF2:

"then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal. then he loaded them onto a boat AND BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA EVERY SINGLE ONE OF 'EM!!"

 

[Godhead]

Now this happens when ever i play any online game as i have a very unusual screenname.
Guy who killed me: Dude, i killed god. FUCK!

Me: lololololololololololololololololoololololololololol you killed me. That's sexy ;D

 

[Stormeh5]

Fable (1):

Demon Door: Hit the Podiums and spell out my name

S-H-I-T...SHIT?!?
-Sends 12 Balverines after you-


No joke. D:
(His name was actually Hits. Grr. >.>)

 

[DeadlyYellow]

I don't remember the line exactly but,

"Manny, until now we've crawled around the ground like rats, but now we'll soar like eagles....eagles on pogo sticks!"

and Grim Fandango in general.

"Run you pigeons it's Robert Frost!"

And from Full Throttle:
"Not with MY box of bunnies"

 

[Gestapo Hunter]

Squadala! We are off!

 

[ahiddenfigure]

Another of Zoey's awesome lines from L4d:
"Hey Francis, they have the latest issue of Hating Everything magazine."

Oh, and from Meet The Sniper:
"I'm not a crazed gunman, dad; I'm an assassin... The difference being one is a job and the other's mental sickness!

 

[Hybrid Sight]

Rain or shine, your goin' down!
Leon Resident evil 4

 

[badgersprite]

You require more vespene gas.

You must construct additional pylons.

"Drop your weapons you have 30 seconds to comply" - Protoss Dragoon

"This is not Warcraft in space!"
"Its much more sophisticated than that!" -Artanis

"Oh my god, he's whacked! I vote we frag this commander...How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?"

"Checklist protocol, initiated. Running level one diagnostic. MilSpec E.D.2.0.9. on. U.S.D.A. selected. F.D.I.C. approved. Checklist completed... S.O.B."

Pissing off units is fun. ^ ^

 

[anthony87]

Another of Zoey's awesome lines from L4d:
"Hey Francis, they have the latest issue of Hating Everything magazine."

Oh, and from Meet The Sniper:
"I'm not a crazed gunman, dad; I'm an assassin... The difference being one is a job and the other's mental sickness!

How about Meet The Sandvich:
MY BLOOD! HE PUNCHED OUT ALL MY BLOOD!!!

Classic TF2.

 

[anthony87]

From Brutal Legend;
I bet you wish you wore a bib because now you got face all over your shirt.