What's the most creative way you have dealt with an idiotic team player?

[Jack and Calumon]

One time, doing some Team Deathmatch on COD4 with friends, one of us left and some OBNOXIOUS 12 year old came in. We knew what to expect when he said "Sup Bitches. You low levels better not let me down. I got a win streak going!" During the game, he kept screaming down the mic, and while we could mute him, not during the after lobby, where he would shout abuse. Eventually, I send my friends a message, and then... it began.

We all decided to sing. One after the other.

First came Rick Asltey's Never Gonna Give You Up, closely followed by Always by Erasure. He left when it came to my turn of singing What's up people by Maximum The Hormone. My throat hurt, but we got rid of him. It was a long lobby, as no-one else was making up the other team.

Calumon: I hugged him for a hour! :3

Jack: ...god damn it.

 

[Nostalgia Ripoff]

One time while playing some Counter-Strike, there was some kid shouting the usual obscenities. Everyone was sick of him, so all I did was type: "You know, you don't seem very threatening when you sound like a 4 year old." Everyone laughed. save for him. He flipped his shit, saying he was 9, not 4 (Like it makes a difference.) That was the last I saw of him.

 

[Jonluw]

All out in-team war.

Not very creative, but at least entertaining.

 

[Varrdy]

The last time I played any serious multiplayer was waaaaaayyyy back at school. We had managed to load Quake: Painkeep onto the A-Level computing Lab (6th form only, no other grotty little plebs allowed!) PC's.

For reasons I can't quite explain, I chose the moniker "Nigel". I think it was because everyone else was choosing names like "Warbastard", "Arsekicker", "MissileCock" etc. and I wanted to come up with something glaringly bland. Also I think it might have something to do with the fact I'd just started listening to Kevin "Bloody" Wilson songs...

Anyway, some prat on my own team decided I was too good and instigated a "Kill Nigel!" policy. Yeah a lot of the people I went to school with were, and some still are, twats. Rocket-Launchering my arse into soggy, wet confetti became his modus operandi.

One day though, I worked out what the air-fist was for and, once we'd killed off the opposition (the lab was divided into 2 halves, each half making up a team), the usual "Nigel Hunt" began and this time I was ready. I kept sneaking a peek at his monitor so I could see where he was and laid in wait at the end of a long corridor. Everyone else just watched him as he lined up his shot, taunting me out loud.

Then he fired.

I watched the rocket come.

I activated the air-fist.

The rocket did a 180 and proceeded to fly right up his nose, reducing him to a red splatter on the walls. After a few seconds, everyone laughed at him.

Oh was I a smug bastard after that!

Wardy

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Hitting them with a Grav Hammer or stealing their Care Packages.


The amount of 8 year olds that cry from this is quite funny...

 

[geo222]

It turns out 8 year olds dont like being reminded that their balls haven't dropped. Im usually the one getting mouthy though, its more fun. Even better when I'm with a group of mates who join in.

 

[ReaperzXIII]

L4D and shoot them until they're incapacitated then leave and let the infected have their way with them

 

[tsb247]

L4D and shoot them until they're incapacitated then leave and let the infected have their way with them

We did something like this with a kid that made his way onto a server that myself and a few friends were on.

He must have been about 9 years old, and he had no sense of tactics of strategy about him. All he wanted to do was run off by himself and try to kill anything that moved. The worst part was that he kept shouting for the rest of us to follow him into situations that a sane person would avoid.

We were on the finale portion of a campaign (the one where you get on a boat - I don't remember exactly which one it is), and this kid insisted that we all charge out of our barricaded position where we were perfectly safe and go out in the open to kill more zombies.

We let him charge out on his own, and for a while he was doing alright. Then the tank showed up... Then a horde decided to spawn...

We just left him out there to die. He had annoyed us to the point of simply not caring anymore. We were just going to shoot him, but it was far more fun to let the zombies rip him to shreds.

 

[tsb247]

One time, doing some Team Deathmatch on COD4 with friends, one of us left and some OBNOXIOUS 12 year old came in. We knew what to expect when he said "Sup Bitches. You low levels better not let me down. I got a win streak going!" During the game, he kept screaming down the mic, and while we could mute him, not during the after lobby, where he would shout abuse. Eventually, I send my friends a message, and then... it began.

We all decided to sing. One after the other.

First came Rick Asltey's Never Gonna Give You Up, closely followed by Always by Erasure. He left when it came to my turn of singing What's up people by Maximum The Hormone. My throat hurt, but we got rid of him. It was a long lobby, as no-one else was making up the other team.

Calumon: I hugged him for a hour! :3

Jack: ...god damn it.

I think I like this more than my, "Fly him into the middle of nowhere and leave him to die," trick. This is just dastardly, and if it worked, then you really can't argue with success!

 

[Jedoro]

I ignore them. I don't kill them, don't shoot them, don't back them up, don't heal them, don't answer them. I believe Okeer is the one who mentioned that's the worst insult to bestow upon an enemy.

 

[Rock Beefchest]

I am a care package stealing bastard to annoying people in MW2. When playing Halo i would just wait til they get in a warthog and teamkill with the spartan laser.

 

[chaos order]

In Battlefield: Bad Company I often spawned on snipers who did nothing at the back of the map just so I could shoot them in the face with a tracer gun. That way they couldn't see anything due to the red flash of the tracer.

does that actually wrk? if so AWESOME!

i remember one time a team killer in a game of warhawk was running us over in a jeep, so i took a plane, and fired the after burners when he was on a ramp, to put is simply he flew. and i kid u not the jeep hit an enemy plane and killed them both, i mean the team killer got the kill but LOL. after that i kept launching him into the air my plane.

 

[Jasper Jeffs]

I was playing Hardcore Team Deathmatch on COD: World at War (the Roundhouse map or whatever), and this guy killed me twice when I was on a good streak. I was on another streak, and I crouched into one of the tipped over containers to find him in the corner, unable to get out because I was blocking the way. I looked at him and said down the mic 'do it' because we both knew it was his last team kill before he got kicked from the lobby. He did, and he got booted. It felt good because he was my friend's dick head cousin who thinks he's "hard" when he's skinny as shit, 4 years younger than me and has no training whatsoever, he just thinks he's hard because he has a face like a twat and a skin head.

Oh, and once I befriended a griefer on GTA IV, he was young, racist and had a squeeky voice, so I told him to get in my helicopter to see an easter egg in the sea. I took him far out, told him to jump, he did, and I flew off. He whined like a little ***** down the mic, saying he'd get me banned, everyone laughed at him and he quit. Justice was served.

 

[SturmDolch]

Battlefield 2 and Battlefield: Bad Company 2: If a guy is teamkilling me or my friends, we'll go and kill him. One of us will spawn as medic. Then we'll wait a couple seconds after killing him and revive him. Then shoot him in the face again. Then revive. Then shoot him again. Then revive.

If my whole team is sniping in BC2, I'll go assault with smoke grenades and tracers and shoot those around them. I always love it when they say something in chat, especially the guy with a 0-5 kdr in the round.

I've heard of people doing the same revive and kill thing in WoW, with friends on the opposite faction. That sounds pretty awesome. I remember one time this idiot was being, well, an idiot in Gadgetzan. Back then, if you went "At War" with the goblins, attacked them, then deselected "At War", they'd stop attacking you. I ran inside of the other player, attacked a goblin, and they started beating on me. It looked like they were attacking him, so he fought back. Deselect at war, and he's stuck with 5 or 6 goblins around him, wacking him in the face.

 

[Digitaldreamer7]

Teamkill the bastard.

Over and over again.

This, I just take my frustrations out on him til he quits or they kick me lol.

It's not the most mature way to handle it, but it feels damn good, and I don't play games to deal with drama as a mature adult.

 

[Tattaglia]

In Battlefield: Bad Company I often spawned on snipers who did nothing at the back of the map just so I could shoot them in the face with a tracer gun. That way they couldn't see anything due to the red flash of the tracer.

does that actually wrk? if so AWESOME!

i remember one time a team killer in a game of warhawk was running us over in a jeep, so i took a plane, and fired the after burners when he was on a ramp, to put is simply he flew. and i kid u not the jeep hit an enemy plane and killed them both, i mean the team killer got the kill but LOL. after that i kept launching him into the air my plane.

It did in the original Bad Company but I'm not so sure about the sequel.

 

[Ze_Reaper_Of_Zeath]

BFBC2? Those stupid snipers? I usually RoadKill them with a ATV...

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

.

We've all played with them; those idiots that seek only to ruin the fun of their teammates. You know, the teamkiller, vehicle thief, the chat/emote spammer, and that little kid who enjoys screaming obscenities through the mic. We all hate them, and I'm sure we have all had to combat them at one time or another. However, there are ways of dealing with them that can be fun for all - Clever, inventive ways of dealing with that smart-ass (short of banning/kicking them).

So, share your storie(s)!

What was the most creative way you have dealt with problematic teammate?

Spoiler: My story in a spoiler because it's long

My favorite came from a game of warfare (ArmA multiplayer) I played a few years ago.

There was a guy who was running over all of our AI controlled infantry units with an M113 as they spawed out of the barracks and generally just wreaking havoc. After a few minutes of simply tolerating his idiocy, I got a brilliant idea and consulted with out team's commander. I played along with this guy's games and suggested that we foil our team's assault on an enemy held town to the north. He was skeptical at first, but soon I talked him into getting into a blackhawk that I was piloting. I took off, and headed west... WAYYYYYYY West.

For those who are not familiar with ArmA, the maps in the game are literally the size of, well... A small country because thet's exactly what they are.

At any rate, I flew this pesky fellow west, turned sharply north, and then dropped him off about 3 to 4 kilometers north of our HQ. He thought I was going to get out and come with him, since between me and a few other teammates we had him convinced that we would meet him there. Instead, I took off and flew back to our HQ; leaving him all by himself a ridiculously long way away from home base. He spammed the chat for the next few minutes before he attempted to walk that 3 to 4 kilometers back to civilization (over mountains, hills, and even through a small desert). He never made it back. He quit out of frustration, and the rest of us were able to play as normal.

this is an epic win.

well, i mostly play TF2 when playing online and its actually quiet hard to be an asshole to your own team in that game so i havnt really had to deal with the problem

the only problem i ever have is having someone else walk RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU while your sniping.

and no i dont mean going out a door or that they are weaving, i've literally had a guy walk right in front of me (hell 1/2 the time he wasn't even in the sniper class) and would just sit there and follow me to different spots till i stopped and stand right in front of me to block my scope. most annoying shit ever, i think he was annoyed because he switched teams after i got him good a few times when he was sucking ass as a scout trying to bum rush.

ot: one time i was at a friends and i had my 360 over there, and there was this annoying ass guy who mic spammed talking so much trash and basically just being an all around douche, so i hopped on my friends xbox (he wasn't using it at the time) and logged in and personal messaged the guy and told him i was a hottie and wanted to chat in a private room, the dude immediately left the game lol

 

[kwagamon]

This story is gonna' be long.

A few weeks ago I was playing TF2 on my usual server and somneone who doesn't usually play there comes on. He was screaming at the team for losing because we were getting rolled and at one point he told me not to build my Engineer stuff in the sewers because no one was going there. I told him "I'm just playing for fun and it's fun watching them not expect stuff in the sewers and they get torn apart", to which he replied "You know what's more fun? Winning." So I told him not to me because if I do cool stuff but still lose to me that's fun anyway. Then he started bitching ceaselessly about how I'm anti-winning and every time I would tell him that I wasn't against winning and that winning is fun, just not the most fun you can have.

We lost as expected that game and the teams were auto-balanced between games. The only people to get switched away from my team were me and that guy. Early on one of our teammates called out the location of an enemy player on their mic, to which that guy relplied "Don't call out enemy locations; Excruciator (my profile-name at the time) is against winning." I said "Dude, you do realize you're not making me mad, right?" He seemed shocked at the fact that due to the severe mental abuse I grew up with in school I'm pretty much flame-proof from the weak arguments that show up on the interblag. He said something to the effect of "Oh... um... well you're dumb," (idiot's response dumbed down for dramatic effect and I don't remember his exact words) and then switched to the other team.

Guess who got all three flag-captures that game and had the satisfaction of killing that guy personally in the end-of-round slaughter?