What's your favourite way to cuss without cussing.

[Camaranth]

The other day my boss tried to tell me off for swearing at work. except she couldn't because I didn't actually swear, which incidentally made me rather happy cause I love getting one over on that witch.

What I said was "Sonofa" didn't finish the phrase and therefore did not swear. It's one of my favourites because everyone old enough knew exactly what I meant. If I need to finish the sentence I'll usually end with "gun". and then if I'm in a situation where I can cuss freely and something happens it becomes "Son of a Gunwhalers whore!"

(not that I have anything against whores, gunwhalers or their offspring but something about that phrase is rather cathartic.)

So what inventive ways have you come up with to swear when you shouldn't really be swearing?
And just for the hell of it what's your favourite curse in general?

 

[Strain42]

I do often let out a good old fashioned Sonuva, and if it counts, I'm quite a fan of "Freakin'" and as Freakin' solid or Freakin' nailed it.

And of course there's the classic "Gah, Mother-"

And sometimes I just like to say Monkey Trumpets.

...it's just a fun little expletive to use.

 

[Mocmocman]

After this video, the word "Fegelein" crept into my vocabulary:

Spoiler

It's surprisingly effective.

 

[ScrabbitRabbit]

After spending some time lurking on the Something Awful forums, the phrase "gently caress that poo poo" seems to have replaced "fuck that shit" in my vocabulary.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Holy hullabaloo on a shingle has been a thing I've been saying when I can't swear.

I have no idea what it means, but it just came out one time when I had to censor myself.

The looks I got were priceless.

 

[chinangel]

"WHAT THE DERP!?"

i picked that up from my daddy, 'tis fun to say!

 

[Lieju]

I hiss.

I don't know where I picked it up (maybe for hanging out with cats and ferrets too much), but there are different hissing noises I let out in anger or frustration.

As for actual curse words, 'Paska', or 'Paskanmarjat'. ('Shit' and 'shitberries' in Finnish.)

I generally don't use curse words when talking.

 

[Queen Michael]

I have a fondness for "gosh darn it".

 

[Vegosiux]

"Oh for-" usually followed by the "I just got hit by the worst migraine ever and am slightly annoyed by it" facepalm gesture.

 

[MiskWisk]

Well, the word "Fudge" appears to have replaced a lot of mine.
"Sugar" too. Hmm, maybe I should be slightly concerned I'm replacing swears with food related things.

 

[Sassafrass]

I tend to go "What the ffffffffffffffishcakes/farfegnugen/fish." lately.
Not often mind, as I swear like the local drunks but whatever.

 

[Tarcolt]

Glob- Thank-you Adventure time! Also Balls is fun to say.
And a Question; is "Damn" swearing? I wouldn't think so but I have a funny feeling there is a cultural difference in the exception of profanity. I base this purely on my misunderstanding of the word cuss(I honestly thought this post was about custard)

 

[snappydog]

Courtesy of Bill Bailey (who likely didn't come up with them, but he's where I heard them):
'Shut the f...ront door'
'Why don't you just f....otograph someone else?'

 

[Timotei]

I tend to go "What the ffffffffffffffishcakes/farfegnugen/fish." lately.
Not often mind, as I swear like the local drunks but whatever.

Might I recommend "Felgercarb"? To the uninitiated it's just a nonsense word. But to those who understand, it's like a signal you're a bro.

Personally, I like to use "frichen". I've said it a lot of times in the company of minors and have never been called out for the fact I'm saying "fuck" in a different language.

 

[Aesir23]

I tend to use different phrases. I usually use "bloody" or "bloody hell" depending on the usage but if I'm particularly exasperated with someone it'll become "for the love of-".

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

Fffflipping heck, I always get stressed when I can't blooming swear. Crumbs it's difficult and I always turn into some blasted stereotype of an Englishman saying 'blimey' and 'shoot'. I end up looking a right pillock. Its all a load of bollards really.

Edit:

I tend to use different phrases. I usually use "bloody" or "bloody hell" depending on the usage but if I'm particularly exasperated with someone it'll become "for the love of-".

Being pedantic, but 'Bloody hell' is swearing, albeit one that has lost its sting as blasphemy became far less shocking than vulgarity. But since the word 'swear' or it's synonym 'oaths' does actually come from the act of invoking oaths in vain, it is almost the definition of a swear word, since 'bloody' comes from a shortened version of the phrase 'by my lady' and was an oath on the virgin mary. Dunno when people started tacking 'hell' on the end of it.

 

[Uncle Comrade]

I tend to use 'flip', as in 'flipping heck' and 'flip off'.

Spoiler: And while we're on the subject of swearing without swearing...

 

[Aesir23]

Fffflipping heck, I always get stressed when I can't blooming swear. Crumbs it's difficult and I always turn into some blasted stereotype of an Englishman saying 'blimey' and 'shoot'. I end up looking a right pillock. Its all a load of bollards really.

Edit:

I tend to use different phrases. I usually use "bloody" or "bloody hell" depending on the usage but if I'm particularly exasperated with someone it'll become "for the love of-".

Being pedantic, but 'Bloody hell' is swearing, albeit one that has lost its sting as blasphemy became far less shocking than vulgarity. But since the word 'swear' or it's synonym 'oaths' does actually come from the act of invoking oaths in vain, it is almost the definition of a swear word, since 'bloody' comes from a shortened version of the phrase 'by my lady' and was an oath on the virgin mary. Dunno when people started tacking 'hell' on the end of it.

That's incredibly interesting. I'd known that it had been considered a swear at some point but not the history behind it. I just started using "bloody" more out of habit as a substitute for more vulgar cussing so as not to upset teachers or parents during my adolescence.

 

[McShizzle]

I try not to swear too much so I'll often use these substitutes

Bullshit - horse/ball hockey, codswollop, balderdash

F-bomb - frig/friggin, flip/flipping, feck/fecking(usually in my Irish brogue)

General exclamation - Sun of a gun, Scharnhorst!, By the Mexican lightning!

Or, in an English setting, swearing in (Quebec)French works - calice tabarnac, tabarnouche, sacrament, merde