What's your favourite way to cuss without cussing.

[Shanahanapp]

Flip works well as an F word. It's flippin' great.

Gosh darn it is also a fun one. Especially because a lot of people I hang around with are very liberal with cursing so the contrast between their strong language and something like "darn" makes me laugh.

 

[Denamic]

I never really hold myself back. Although I sometimes get bouts of intense rage playing DotA 2 and fire off a "FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuu-," but run out of juice before I actually finish it.

Although I have used "By the Nine!" on occasion.

 

[Mr Fixit]

The one I love to use the most will still offend someone, it's just a general purpose phrase. I will say quite loudly "Sweet screaming baby jebus". Yeah not so bad, but bound to offend someone.

 

[rednose1]

Well, back in the Navy days, calling someone "shipmate" was the same as "motherF***er", so I use it when I wanna cuss, but can't (out in public mostly).

 

[loc978]

"Sheep swallop. Sheep swallop and bloody buttered onions."

Though in general, I just say the fucking word. Be it frak, feck, fook, or fuck... the meaning is the same, and it should be treated the same. As in not a big deal. Cover your child's ears all you want, they're going to hear the word, and the more you tell them not to say it, the more they'll say it when you're not around. Taboos don't work.

There is a time and a place, though... when I know I'm around the easily offended, I'll either offend them and not give a flying fuck, or I'll do what I did as a soldier, which is say absolutely nothing that isn't absolutely professionally necessary... in the coldest, most inhuman tone I can manage. Waaaaaay worse than cursing. I've disturbed many people with that one.

 

[Fijiman]

I'll usually just come up with something random and stupid on the spot instead of actually swearing, but I usually go right for the swears with random, nonsensical words occasionally thrown in.

 

[solemnwar]

Fffflipping heck, I always get stressed when I can't blooming swear. Crumbs it's difficult and I always turn into some blasted stereotype of an Englishman saying 'blimey' and 'shoot'. I end up looking a right pillock. Its all a load of bollards really.

Edit:

I tend to use different phrases. I usually use "bloody" or "bloody hell" depending on the usage but if I'm particularly exasperated with someone it'll become "for the love of-".

Being pedantic, but 'Bloody hell' is swearing, albeit one that has lost its sting as blasphemy became far less shocking than vulgarity. But since the word 'swear' or it's synonym 'oaths' does actually come from the act of invoking oaths in vain, it is almost the definition of a swear word, since 'bloody' comes from a shortened version of the phrase 'by my lady' and was an oath on the virgin mary. Dunno when people started tacking 'hell' on the end of it.

Er... no. I HIGHLY doubt it's a shorthand for "by my lady". That sounds an awful lot like "folk etymology".

Spoiler: from the online etymology dictionary

bloody (adj.) Old Engish blodig, adjective from blod (see blood). Common Germanic, cf. Old Frisian blodich, Old Saxon blôdag, Dutch bloedig, Old High German bluotag, German blutig.

It has been a British intensive swear word since at least 1676. Weekley relates it to the purely intensive use of the cognate Dutch bloed, German Blut. But perhaps it ultimately is connected with bloods in the slang sense of "rowdy young aristocrats" (see blood (n.)) via expressions such as bloody drunk "as drunk as a blood."

Partridge reports that it was "respectable" before c.1750, and it was used by Fielding and Swift, but heavily tabooed c.1750-c.1920, perhaps from imagined association with menstruation; Johnson calls it "very vulgar," and OED writes of it, "now constantly in the mouths of the lowest classes, but by respectable people considered 'a horrid word', on par with obscene or profane language."
The onset of the taboo against bloody coincides with the increase in linguistic prudery that presaged the Victorian Era but it is hard to say what the precise cause was in the case of this specific word. Attempts have been made to explain the term's extraordinary shock power by invoking etymology. Theories that derive it from such oaths as "By our Lady" or "God's blood" seem farfetched, however. More likely, the taboo stemmed from the fear that many people have of blood and, in the minds of some, from an association with menstrual bleeding. Whatever, the term was debarred from polite society during the whole of the nineteenth century. [Rawson]

Shaw shocked theater goers when he put it in the mouth of Eliza Doolittle in "Pygmalion" (1914), and for a time the word was known euphemistically as "the Shavian adjective." It was avoided in print as late as 1936. Bloody Sunday, Jan. 30, 1972, when 13 civilians were killed by British troops at protest in Londonderry, Northern Ireland

Further searching on the Oxford English Dictionary (hurrah being able to freely access it due to being a university student, wooo!) doesn't say anything about it, either, which furthers the belief that it's merely folk etymology with no actual substance.

Spoiler: relevant entry from OED

As an intensifier: absolute, downright, utter. Formerly sometimes in a negative sense: awful, terrible. More recently also as a mere filler, with little or no intensifying force (although generally implying some element of dislike, frustration, etc., on the part of the speaker).

 

[Caiphus]

I never cuss without cussing.

Why the fuck would you want to do something like that?

That said, "Great googly moogly" is always a fun one:

Spoiler: Snickers Advert

 

[Sandjube]

Fricken, feth, goaarggh!...and nuts.

 

[Tsun Tzu]

I don't usually censor myself, unless I'm working or around small ones...

In those scenarios, it's usually a lot of forced smiling and mental armageddon. When they do manage to fly out? Lots of "For f-ARGHLEBLARGLE" and "What the holiest of f- WHY!?" and, for some odd reason, "SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS!"

And occasionally.

"Bandar Seri Begawan!"

 

[Evil Smurf]

I swear normally, I find people who cover up with "frak" are intolerable. Either swear or don't. This is why I don't censor like the thread.

 

[thejackyl]

"Sweet Jesus" is usually my go-to phrase when I have to censor myself. Though outside of work and when I'm not around younger people I have no brakes.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I rarely ever censor my words. If I am in a position where I must I usually bite my tongue, the inside of my cheek or one or both of my snakebites. However "gorram" is one of my favourite words instead of saying god damn.

Frak is another fun one for me.

As is actually biting my thumb at people instead of flipping them off. Though that is used more when I'm driving because compared to everyone else, I have no anger management problems whatsoever and I don't want anything to happen to my car. And no one seems to remember Shakespearean insults even though I KNOW we all read Romeo and Juliet......

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Damage!

instead of dammit... pretty much the only thing i say when trying to to swear.. no matter where i am i di it this way.

 

[neoontime]

I tend to use "Garsh Darn it" when I'm not in initial bad spirits.

 

[Hawk eye1466]

I like to go with phrases that make no sense to anyone that doesn't know where their from, recently my favorites are

Gosh golly gee willickers zippity gippidy do
Jesus Johnny
Switch on sunshine

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

"Modsbannit" is my favourite made up swear word of all time.

It's practically one of my signatures at this point. Even after I started to say "goddammit" with alarming frequency (mostly because one particular friend I worked alongside all summer), I still find myself using Modsbannit most of the time.

 

[Opalord]

"Shoot the duck"

"Son of a shepard"

"Sweet freakin Byakurn"

all pop up in my english from time to time

 

[neonsword13-ops]

"Gosh Dang Dangle" or any other variant. Courtesy of the grumps.


I also love using "Golly-gee" because of how old and out-of-date it is.

Or sometimes I just make up some rambling sentence with made up words. "Raggeda taggeda maga snaga waba dooo." That's an actual quote. Now just add an aggravated tone and you have me in a nutshell.