You beat me to it! I was sure that nobody would have posted it. Anyways, this is definitely the greatest Yahtzee quote ever.Just_A_Glitch said:
What's your favourite Yahtzee quote?
- Thread starter CHIMP MAGNET
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"Some might say that's enough. Some might say I'm too hard to please, but some can shut their fucking mouths." *Yahtzee snaps his fingers and a tiger comes leaping out at some imps*
"As the operator of a coin-powered cannon might yell sarcastically to a retreating army, you should never be afraid of change."
"...what utter bullshit!" *on screen 'what arbitrary silliness'*
"...and Jack's looking for answers and he's letting his gun do the talking and his gun knows only one really loud word!"
"As the friend said to the man who invented the excrement-powered helicopter said 'this shit will not fly!'"
"I know what you're going to say: 'Yahtzee you charasmatic stallion!'"
And many, many more. I tried to find things not already used.
"As the operator of a coin-powered cannon might yell sarcastically to a retreating army, you should never be afraid of change."
"...what utter bullshit!" *on screen 'what arbitrary silliness'*
"...and Jack's looking for answers and he's letting his gun do the talking and his gun knows only one really loud word!"
"As the friend said to the man who invented the excrement-powered helicopter said 'this shit will not fly!'"
"I know what you're going to say: 'Yahtzee you charasmatic stallion!'"
And many, many more. I tried to find things not already used.
oh so many... ones that comes to mind:
"If you can play Gears of War with one hand and Splinter Cell with the other than you don't need to play Army of Two, and make sure you film it because that's a pretty impressive talent you have there."
"I had ladies lining up to nibble on my +9 staff of penetration"
"If you can play Gears of War with one hand and Splinter Cell with the other than you don't need to play Army of Two, and make sure you film it because that's a pretty impressive talent you have there."
"I had ladies lining up to nibble on my +9 staff of penetration"
"Talk about sidestepping a pothole only to fall off a bridge."
Among others I'm sure. That's just the only one I can think of.
Among others I'm sure. That's just the only one I can think of.
"... and then they make the mistake of killing your brother, and you apparently are a Norse God..." Red Faction Guerrilla
"...At one point i wanted to spawn a big rock to use as a stepping stone in lava, but entering big rock, or large boulder, or testicle of colossus produced rather paltry specimens..."
"and fuck, it was like my character had been waiting all day for me to do that. He threw his pick and started jumping into the air like he wanted to be a cloud when he grew up. I'd call him a drunken afternoon spastic but apparently those words don't exist."
"...What little of it i would describe as a game is just grind through the same handful of solutions: Helicopters, boulders, and Cthulhu."
Scribblenauts
Pretty much everything he says is a knee-slapper.
"...At one point i wanted to spawn a big rock to use as a stepping stone in lava, but entering big rock, or large boulder, or testicle of colossus produced rather paltry specimens..."
"and fuck, it was like my character had been waiting all day for me to do that. He threw his pick and started jumping into the air like he wanted to be a cloud when he grew up. I'd call him a drunken afternoon spastic but apparently those words don't exist."
"...What little of it i would describe as a game is just grind through the same handful of solutions: Helicopters, boulders, and Cthulhu."
Scribblenauts
Pretty much everything he says is a knee-slapper.
There are too many. Too. Many. These are the tops(that I can remember of the top of my head):
"Never sick your dick in a pudding. It may still be good pudding and you could spend all day defending that, but no one's going to eat it because you STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT."
"Sometimes, I miss the old Pac-man storytelling method; eat pills, avoid ghosts, that's it. Only sometimes you can eat ghosts, as well, if you-AAARRGGGHH!"
"Holy shit, what right does this game suddenly have to kick ass?"
"...Altair, the medieval pasty man, who can turn completely invisible when sitting on a bench looking serious..."
"Yes, maybe I'll skip this level, then I'll eat a few French fancies, and take a lovely scented bath to clean my MASSIVE VAGINA. Now get out of the fucking way, this shit will not beat me."
"I'd like to know who the fuck they got in to do motion capture work for this character, because all I can picture is a giraffe who's taken pole dancing lessons."
"Never sick your dick in a pudding. It may still be good pudding and you could spend all day defending that, but no one's going to eat it because you STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT."
"Sometimes, I miss the old Pac-man storytelling method; eat pills, avoid ghosts, that's it. Only sometimes you can eat ghosts, as well, if you-AAARRGGGHH!"
"Holy shit, what right does this game suddenly have to kick ass?"
"...Altair, the medieval pasty man, who can turn completely invisible when sitting on a bench looking serious..."
"Yes, maybe I'll skip this level, then I'll eat a few French fancies, and take a lovely scented bath to clean my MASSIVE VAGINA. Now get out of the fucking way, this shit will not beat me."
"I'd like to know who the fuck they got in to do motion capture work for this character, because all I can picture is a giraffe who's taken pole dancing lessons."
Dudes, this quote was from the "2.5D Hoedown" when he was talking about 'Splosion Man. My favorites are:The Random One said:
"Its simple, glue-eatingly, chasing-around-a-girl-with-a-poo-on-the-end-of-a-sticking fun... And I wouldnt have it any other way!"
Someone may need to check me on that one, but anyway.
"But the day I fork out $70.00 for an expansion pack is the day I swallow razor-wire, pull the end out of my *** and floss myself to death!"
"Meet a member of the opposite gender and invite them out for some... caaaaaake..."
"Now I better play a nice FPS before my body finishes absorbing my testicles!"
And finally:
"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It may still be good pudding and you could spend all day defending that, but no one's gonna eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"
"... Also, I think Hitler was right!"
"Red Steel 2 may be the best motion control shooter out there, but that's a bit like coming first in the competition for jerking off over your sister in the shower; you only won because no one else entered, and you get this feeling that maybe you shouldn't be doing it."
"Red Steel 2 may be the best motion control shooter out there, but that's a bit like coming first in the competition for jerking off over your sister in the shower; you only won because no one else entered, and you get this feeling that maybe you shouldn't be doing it."
From Heavenly Sword Demo:
"She then adds, with a totally straight face, We may need you to play twing-twang. My first thought when I heard that was I am so going to quote that out of context but on reflection it doesn't make a whole lot of sense in context either. If the developers were hoping I'd consider buying the full game just to see what twing-twang is, then mission fucking accomplished I suppose, but I'm going to be very disappointed if it isn't a cutesy euphemism for lesbian cunilingus, YEAH I WENT THERE."
"She then adds, with a totally straight face, We may need you to play twing-twang. My first thought when I heard that was I am so going to quote that out of context but on reflection it doesn't make a whole lot of sense in context either. If the developers were hoping I'd consider buying the full game just to see what twing-twang is, then mission fucking accomplished I suppose, but I'm going to be very disappointed if it isn't a cutesy euphemism for lesbian cunilingus, YEAH I WENT THERE."
-"Never stick your dick in a pudding"
-"To those of you paying attention, you will notice that all of these titles are sequels, and to those of you not paying attention; *CLAP CLAP* OI!"
-"The ponciest ponce to ever ponce past a poncing parlor."
-and the entire Wolfenstien reveiw.
that's what i could think of off the top of my head, because there are to many.
-"To those of you paying attention, you will notice that all of these titles are sequels, and to those of you not paying attention; *CLAP CLAP* OI!"
-"The ponciest ponce to ever ponce past a poncing parlor."
-and the entire Wolfenstien reveiw.
that's what i could think of off the top of my head, because there are to many.
"Impenetrable bullshit armor everywhere but it's Bum!"
My wife has the 'it's always stars' T-Shirt.
Sadly I can buy no escapist tshirts for they don't sell Double Extra Large Long.
My wife has the 'it's always stars' T-Shirt.
Sadly I can buy no escapist tshirts for they don't sell Double Extra Large Long.
"Go team retard!"
"GAMETRADERS ROBENO"
"MY FRIEND GUY'S HOUSE"
"As the excacerbated zoo keeper said to the last male panda, fuck that!"
"As the friend of the inventor of the first faeces powered helicopter said, this shit will not fly!"
"Why would you want to explore when all you'll find is MORE NAZIS!"
"Green Spleen Submarine"
the list goes on...
"GAMETRADERS ROBENO"
"MY FRIEND GUY'S HOUSE"
"As the excacerbated zoo keeper said to the last male panda, fuck that!"
"As the friend of the inventor of the first faeces powered helicopter said, this shit will not fly!"
"Why would you want to explore when all you'll find is MORE NAZIS!"
"Green Spleen Submarine"
the list goes on...