What's Your Idea for a Supernatural Romance Novel.

[Werewolfkid]

I want to play a little game with all of you. Twilight's popularity has sparked a huge wave of similar books that differ only in what supernatural creature they are using. Basically, the point of this game is to create our own idea for a supernatural romance novel using concepts and tropes found in these books that are clearly just following in Twilight's steps hoping to get the same level of recognition. Here is all you need to know to create a supernatural romance novel.

Gimmick: Something like Vampires, Werewolves, and other supernatural creatures and mythologies that love story will be "inspired" by. The more liberties taken with the source material the better.

Hollow Female Protagonist: A blank slate that has never even thought of romance or the opposite sex. Must have generic "flaws" and "talents" that give her a "personality" and her life must begin when she meets her man and will become emotionally dependent on him. Must also be a virgin that has never thought of sex with someone her entire life and is desperate to lose it with her supernatural man regardless on what horrible things may happen to her because of it. Bonus points if marriage is the only way her man will do it with her.

Supernatural Male Hottie: A hot guy that is secretly a vampire,werewolf, or something like that. Must be controlling and domineering, but only because they love hollow female protagonist. He must withhold sex because sex with him will do something horrible to hollow female protagonist, but still must make it obvious he wants it as much as she wants it.

Ethnic Third Wheel: A kind and caring person who is not white that has a close relationship with hollow female protagonist and often struggles to gain her affection only to fail against supernatural male hottie every time. Can be revealed as a supernatural hottie themselves, but only in the sequels and will still never end up with hollow female protagonist no matter what. Must withhold intimate contact for some reasonable reason that the hollow female protagonist doesn't care about.

Interesting Background Characters: The supporting cast must be made up of characters that are far more interesting then the main cast and can bring up interesting things that have happened, but they are always brushed aside so that the "romance" between hollow female protagonist and supernatural male hottie remains the focus.

Empty and Meaningless Villain: A bad guy or girl that seeks to get in the way of hollow female protagonist and supernatural hottie. Must have motivation that is shallow and stupid and must fail because of their own stupidity or ignorance. Can hint at a back-story and deeper motivation for the villain, but you must never follow up on it.

The Setting: Must be a generic town where everyone works at the same place basically, and if you want to use real life places they must be written through the point of view of someone that has never actually been there.

The BFF: A best friend for the hollow female protagonist. Must be defined solely by a single trait like being fat, or being nerdy, or being a *****.

Book Name and Saga Name: The title of the saga and books must be shallow attempts of trying to sound deep and meaningful, but instead come off as hilariously pretentious.

Other Important Points: The story cannot have any interesting twists other the the obvious OMG supernatural male hottie is a vampire, werewolf, something. The plot must have little to no stakes and focus almost entirely on the hollow female protagonist and her obsession with getting the attention of supernatural male hottie and getting to be intimate with him regardless of any horrifying implications that may follow. The supernatural male hottie must at one point do something horrifying and borderline evil that will never be brought up again. Supernatural male hottie must also do something awful to hollow female protagonist that he will be forgiven for regardless of how awful the thing he did to her is. The horrible thing cannot involve rape and murder, but something small that the hollow female protagonist blows out of proportion.

I have given you guys all you need to know to make your own Supernatural Romance Novel. Now let's see what you got.

And for those that may ask. Yes, this is inspired by the Nostalgia Chick's Fifty Shades of Green project.

 

[madwarper]

I want to play a game of mad libs with all of you. Let us mad lib a Twilight Spoof. Here is all you need to create a Twilight Spoof.

Ummm... Are you sure you know what a 'madlibs' is?

It's when you take a story, then remove every fourth word, or something like that, and leave in its place a blank, noting what part of speech it was. Then, make a separate list of all the words of varying parts of speech for someone to fill in with random words of similar parts of speech. Finally, plugging the list of random words back into the original passage.

So, if you're only doing a madlibs of Twilight, don't try to reinvent the wheel. Just lift a section from the book.

 

[Werewolfkid]

I want to play a game of mad libs with all of you. Let us mad lib a Twilight Spoof. Here is all you need to create a Twilight Spoof.

Ummm... Are you sure you know what a 'madlibs' is?

It's when you take a story, then remove every fourth word, or something like that, and leave in its place a blank, noting what part of speech it was. Then, make a separate list of all the words of varying parts of speech for someone to fill in with random words of similar parts of speech. Finally, plugging the list of random words back into the original passage.

So, if you're only doing a madlibs of Twilight, don't try to reinvent the wheel. Just lift a section from the book.

Thanks for pointing that out, I'll change the the title to "What's your idea for a Twilight spoof" that will make the game I'm playing more clear.

 

[blackrave]

Oh, it's so on!!!
It's about Twilight Sparkle (yes, I went there) who meets a shy pony who just arrived at Ponyville
But she doesn't know that he's actually a vampony
But he is "vegan" vampony, because he only sucks blood of animals... oh wait... humans... eee... dragons?
Yeah, dragons, because he is also dragon hunter (totally badass and angsty and whiny and blergh'n'shit)
Ooooh and he shines on the sun
BUT
He is closer to Elder Scrolls vampire, thus his shining is actually painful
Because he can withstand sun only when well fed
Why he shines? Sun slowly burns him (the hungrier- the more severe the burn is) and his regeneration can only overcome lightest burn.
Problem is he fell in love with Twilight Sparkle (because I said so) and he don't want to leave her, BUT he have killed all the dragons in the area and starts to starve.
Well, almost all dragons, because there is Spike.
And thus he is torn apart by hunger and love.
Will he leave Ponyville, and Twilight Sparkle, forever (to avoid killing Spike) or will he succumb to hunger and kill Spike (thus hurting Twilight)?
Hunger takes over and he meets Spike and they have their grandiose showdown.
After 9 seconds Spike is on the ground begging for mercy, but before vampony plunges his teeth into Spike, Twilight arrives to save Spike.
In the confrontation vampony realizes into what he have become and promises to leave Ponyville and never return (accompanied by whiny romantic BS)
So hungry he leaves Ponyville, but as just steps outside village he is burned by sunrise (since he is extremely hungry)
The end!



P.S. The fuck I just wrote O_O ?

 

[lordmardok]

The problem with this thread is that there is no such thing as a Twilight knockoff. A knockoff implies that it is a lower budget, more poorly written version of the original movie, preferably starring Lorenzo Lamas. The reason this doesn't work in this instance is because anything that is trying to ape Twilight would end up being a parody and would be enjoyable for comedic value alone or at the very least it would end up being an unintentionally clever satire. To qualify that statement, the reasoning is that the 'knockoff' would have to be even more poorly written than Twilight.

Imagine that.

Watching a 'Twilight knockoff' that has dryer lines, is even more predictable, and has even more vacuous characters.

It would be almost prodigious in its retardation to the point that people would actually, legitimately and nonironically, enjoy watching it more than they enjoyed the original films that this hypothetical abomination is purporting to be a knockoff of.

Either that or their frontal lobes would commit cerebral suicide.

 

[Werewolfkid]

Here's my contribution to my own little game.

Gimmick: Twilight with kitsunes and Japanese Mythology as written by a person whose only experience with Japanese culture is from Anime and the game Okami.

Hollow Female Protagonist: Amanda States is a transfer student from the United States who has come to Tokoyo after her parents transferred to a business firm located in the city. She is physically weak and really bad at sports, but knows how to make origami really, really well. She is a pure and innocent seventeen year old girl that has never though about boys, until she falls for this mysterious, Asian hunk that turns out to be a kitsune(or werefox with magical powers)and now wants to spend the rest of her life with him, regardless of the heavy cost that comes with it.

Supernatural Male Hottie: Kasai is a 2000 year old kitsune that has watched humans quietly from the shadows, looking down on them, but also longing for someone to watch them with. After saving Amanda from being hurt by a bunch of thugs, he falls in love with her. However, he is careful to keep his distance because if he ever got intimate with her it would bind their souls together and if she is apart from him for more then an hour she will turn into a mindless demon doomed to wander the underworld forever. He also has pyrokinetic powers and the ability to create illusions.

Ethnic Third Wheel: Long Nanhai is a Chinese guy and a live long friend of Amanda. Amanda lives with Long and his family at their sushi shop. Long loves Amanda, but Amanda sees him only as a friend and could never bring herself to fall in love with him. When Long learns about Kasai he becomes very distrustful of him, but when Amanda gets kidnapped by the bad guys he helps Kasai find them, but only because he loves Amanda and doesn't want her to get hurt. In the sequels, it is revealed that Long is a weredragon and enters a rivalry with Kasai over Amanda's affection.

Interesting Background Characters: Long's parents are 10,000 year old dragons that wished to leave behind their life of supernatural adventure for a simpler mortal life due to a tragedy that ruined their love of the world. Kasai lives with a group of other shapeshifters that all have interesting personalities. A elderly Tanuki that has a lot of story of doing business with various interesting figures throughout history. A pear of weretiger siblings that were abandoned at a young age, and have lived on the streets most of their lives, and are very close to each other. All these characters will have interesting backstories brought up and then never wll they be followed up on, because they are no where near interesting enough to be the focus.

Empty Meaningless Villain: Waru is an evil demon that is a member of an evil organization devoted to killing shapeshifters and anyone that affiliates themselves with shapeshifters because of reasons. Waru kidnaps Amanda near the end and puts a curse on her that will kill her unless she is kissed by someone she loves. He is brutally murdered by Kasai and his friends and Kasai saves Amanda. The Organization that Waru worked for will end up being the Bigger Bad that Kasai, Amanda, and friends has to deal with over the course of the sequels.

The Setting: The first book will take place in Tokoyo, but told from the perspective of a Weeaboo who's knowledge of Japanese culture comes from anime and Okami. For example, high school will be depicted identical to American high school and summer vacation will be the same as America. Also, it seems that everyone in Japan eats sushi, noodles, and pocky. The Japanese mythology will be based entirely on what is talked about in Okami.

The BFF: Gei Kegawa is a ditzy man trapped in a woman's body that is obsessed with a bara furry dating sim and is convinced that she is in a real, committed relationship with the tiger character in the game.

Book Name and Saga Title: The saga will be called the Shifter Saga and will be divided into four books. The Fox on Fire, The Dragon in the Sky, The Wolf in the Water, and The Beasts of the Earth.

Well that is my idea for a Twilight Knockoff. Hope to see some other people share their own.

 

[Werewolfkid]

The problem with this thread is that there is no such thing as a Twilight knockoff. A knockoff implies that it is a lower budget, more poorly written version of the original movie, preferably starring Lorenzo Lamas. The reason this doesn't work in this instance is because anything that is trying to ape Twilight would end up being a parody and would be enjoyable for comedic value alone or at the very least it would end up being an unintentionally clever satire. To qualify that statement, the reasoning is that the 'knockoff' would have to be even more poorly written than Twilight.

Imagine that.

Watching a 'Twilight knockoff' that has dryer lines, is even more predictable, and has even more vacuous characters.

It would be almost prodigious in its retardation to the point that people would actually, legitimately and nonironically, enjoy watching it more than they enjoyed the original films that this hypothetical abomination is purporting to be a knockoff of.

Either that or their frontal lobes would commit cerebral suicide.

I'm less interested in the movie and more in the books they are based on. The Twilight books ushered in a storm of supernatural romance novels that are basically the same as Twilight only with another supernatural creature instead of vampires. Gonna Change the name of the topic one more time and hopefully that will the fun little game I am playing here much more clear.

 

[Souplex]

The principle of Twilight is romanticizing monsters, so why not make it history's greatest monster?
The love interest is a clone of Hitler. But he's not like all those other Hitlers, and when he kills minorities or trains run on time he sparkles.

 

[Queen Michael]

The principle of Twilight is romanticizing monsters, so why not make it history's greatest monster?
The love interest is a clone of Hitler. But he's not like all those other Hitlers, and when he kills minorities or trains run on time he sparkles.

Yes.
Hell yes.
HELL. MOTHERFUCKING. YES.
*ahem* I mean, nice idea, Souplex. Well done.

 

[Saltyk]

Okay, so our annoying female protagonist, played by Miley Cyrus, comes to the town of... um... Blandsville. Obviously, despite being beautiful and popular, she's an outcast and not well understood. Until she meets the town hunk, played by Gary Busey, and his family.

But unbeknownst to the people of Blandsville, Hunk, let's face it his name doesn't matter, is actually a blob. Obviously, he withholds sex because he doesn't want to consume her with his blob powers.

Then, our AFP meets another man, played by Ice Cube. He befriends AFP and tries to warn her to stay away from the Hunk. Obviously Ice Cube is a Swamp Monster. I think that goes without saying.

Our interesting background characters include Batman, Spiderman, Joker, and Iron Man. Though, none of them actually do anything. They just pontificate about the doomed love between AFP and Hunk.

Our meaningless villain is an elderly Van Hellsing. Who seeks to destroy the blob family. But can he be convinced to not do so through the power of Viagra?

Oh, and the Best Friend to the AFP is Justin Bieber. But he's mute. And a slug monster so he fears salt. I foresee a salt shaker accident with Van Hellsing and Justin.

The setting is Blandsville, USA. Which obviously has a beach, forest, mountains, lakes, desert, sprawling metropolis, and 50 foot tall Gundam statue in the middle of town square.

The name of the book? I didn't think this far ahead... Globs of Thunder. Just because.

 

[Sarge034]

Snip

I saw the title and immediately thought this thread was about planning the "disappearance" of the Twilight series. *sigh* Sam, Snake, Agent 47... Stand down.

Spoiler: But really...

But I'm about to blow your mind. What if Twilight was a bad rip off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Think about it. All the elements you listed are present, but the shitty parts are removed or altered in a way that benefits the story.

For example...

Must also be a virgin that has never thought of sex with someone her entire life and is desperate to lose it with her supernatural man regardless on what horrible things may happen to her because of it. Bonus points if marriage is the only way her man will do it with her.

She never got romantic because the people she got involved with tended to be killed because of it. So she stopped to protect them and herself. She wants Angle's dick so bad she doesn't even realize he is the very monster she is charged with exterminating. Once Angle gets his soul back if they have sex he will revert to full on evil and kill the fuck outta everything. He gave up his immortality and job killing evil/ serving good once and she was willing to give up being a slayer (warrior for good, last hope for humanity) and become a vampire (very much evil) to be with him. Also is she had done any of those things hell would have been unleashed on Earth, so there is that...

If you'll excuse me I need to find some Buffy to watch now.

 

[Werewolfkid]

Snip

I saw the title and immediately thought this thread was about planning the "disappearance" of the Twilight series. *sigh* Sam, Snake, Agent 47... Stand down.

Spoiler: But really...

But I'm about to blow your mind. What if Twilight was a bad rip off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Think about it. All the elements you listed are present, but the shitty parts are removed or altered in a way that benefits the story.

For example...

Must also be a virgin that has never thought of sex with someone her entire life and is desperate to lose it with her supernatural man regardless on what horrible things may happen to her because of it. Bonus points if marriage is the only way her man will do it with her.

She never got romantic because the people she got involved with tended to be killed because of it. So she stopped to protect them and herself. She wants Angle's dick so bad she doesn't even realize he is the very monster she is charged with exterminating. Once Angle gets his soul back if they have sex he will revert to full on evil and kill the fuck outta everything. He gave up his immortality and job killing evil/ serving good once and she was willing to give up being a slayer (warrior for good, last hope for humanity) and become a vampire (very much evil) to be with him. Also is she had done any of those things hell would have been unleashed on Earth, so there is that...

If you'll excuse me I need to find some Buffy to watch now.

How to make a GOOD Supernatural Romance Novel will be my next forum topic. I just wanted to have fun with this whole Supernatural Romance craze, I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway.

 

[FPLOON]

Well, shit... I was hoping of doing a gender-reversal on the knockoff... or would that be called pulling a reverse-"50 Shades of Grey" maneuver? (Also, I found out you can own the complete movie collection, Twilight Forever, on Blu-Ray... Okay, back on-topic...)

OT:

Daybreak (The Twilight Spoof Book 1): Carri Wood was just your typical teen girl with typical teen problems... She can't find that special someone at her typical high school setting... Then, as if fate was telling this typical story, a not-so typical teen calling himself Remus Jackson came into her life and swept her off her feet... (Literally... He just grab her and told her, straight up, "you're mine forever...") However, due to Remus being a black person vampire, a change in the vampire mythos has begun once again... and the battle for love will test his loyalty to his own clan...and his superiority to the the vampire leader, named Chris, from a different vampire clan...

New Sun (The New Moon Spoof Book 2): Still in danger now from the vampire leader's wife(?), Holly, "Lord" Reemus throws his love, Carri, into the forest to hide her from danger... When all seems lost for Carri's survival, a chiseled lumberjack named Marcus Brown, living in a log cabin, rescues her. They soon become more intimate when she finds out he's a werewolf while Remus has a hard time befriending Marcus due to both of their clan's history... Now, the only way for Carri to truly be safe, for now, is to later become a vampire herself...

Ring of Fire (The Eclipse Spoof Book 3): With the battle between Holly's new army of vampires approaching, Remus and Marcus must put aside their past histories between their clans and join forces to save Remus's clan as well as Carri's own life... Meanwhile, Carri must choose between her love for Remus or her relationship with Marcus, which she chooses Remus over Marcus, and both Carri and Remus decide to get marry to show their love for each other...

Mending Dusk (The Breaking Dawn Spoof Book 4): After a typical wedding setting, Carri and Remus spend their honeymoon awkwardly loosing their virginity. When Carri finds out she's pregnant from unprotected sex, the weight of the rapid pregnancy and Remus's thoughts on this predicament almost causes her untimely death. After giving birth to their half-human, half-vampire child named Edelworth, Remus turns Carri into a vampire to save her once again... Years pass and a misunderstanding involving Edelworth's controversial well-being causes another confrontation, which ends with proof that Edelworth can never be a true immortal vampire...


And yes, that's just the "quick" synopsis of each of the Twilight spoofs... Then again, I've never read the books (besides barely reading through New Moon before watching said movie... Don't ask...) and have only seen the first three movies, with the second one the only one that I found to be the most tolerable of the first three... I can't say too much about the supporting cast, unfortunately, except Dakota Fanning... Don't know why... (I blame thinking about a live-action Kingdom Hearts movie for that...)

 

[Sarge034]

How to make a GOOD Supernatural Romance Novel will be my next forum topic. I just wanted to have fun with this whole Supernatural Romance craze, I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway.

No offence here, just disappointment. I was totally ready to lead "Operation Twilight Cleanse". I had a plan man! (And I still do, but it will wait for another day.)

As for the good supernatural romance, I'll stick with Buffy. Seriously, it is a solid story with character development, flaws, and some damn fine group dynamics. Why come up with something new on my own when I can hold up the standard that came out before Twilight and just point at it?

Spoiler: I'm pointing at it... (plz click me)

 

[Rebel_Raven]

Spoiler

Gimmick: Dragons.

Hollow Female Protagonist: Do I gotta elaborate here what with the whole virgin sacrifice mythology? Or is that just my imagination?
Horrible things? Dragons+sex. Unless it's the sort that can turn human, or at least change size.
Dragons have concepts of Marriage?

Supernatural Male Hottie: Wealthy warmblooded scaley dragon. *Remembers most dragons I've seen* yeah, I think something horrible would happen, lest some size changes happen.... I'm really terrible at this, aren't I?

Ethnic Third Wheel: Uhm.. Yeah, I'm bad at this. lol Not sure here.

Interesting Background Characters: ... You don't get more interesting than a dragon!! EVER!!! Heresy, blast it all!

Empty and Meaningless Villain: Crap, the knight saving the maiden is generally symbolic. I guess they'd fit in, though. Knights are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup, yet still wish to slay the dragon.

The Setting: Generic town? Easy in fantasy mideval eras. <.<

The BFF: Hrm. Maybe someone from town checking up on the maiden?

Book Name and Saga Name: you mean like white wolf modules? *Ducks*
Dragon: The Hording!!

Other Important Points:

Fifty Shades of Green? ... well, if your dragon -must- be green. <.<

Mind the dinosaurs! Someone beat you there!

Spoiler

http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/10-real-book-covers-from-dinosaur-on-human-sex-novels/

 

[EHKOS]

I has an idea. A trash can, the manuscript, and a lighter.

 

[blackrave]

Okay, so our annoying female protagonist, played by Miley Cyrus, comes to the town of... um... Blandsville. Obviously, despite being beautiful and popular, she's an outcast and not well understood. Until she meets the town hunk, played by Gary Busey, and his family.

But unbeknownst to the people of Blandsville, Hunk, let's face it his name doesn't matter, is actually a blob. Obviously, he withholds sex because he doesn't want to consume her with his blob powers.

Then, our AFP meets another man, played by Ice Cube. He befriends AFP and tries to warn her to stay away from the Hunk. Obviously Ice Cube is a Swamp Monster. I think that goes without saying.

Our interesting background characters include Batman, Spiderman, Joker, and Iron Man. Though, none of them actually do anything. They just pontificate about the doomed love between AFP and Hunk.

Our meaningless villain is an elderly Van Hellsing. Who seeks to destroy the blob family. But can he be convinced to not do so through the power of Viagra?

Oh, and the Best Friend to the AFP is Justin Bieber. But he's mute. And a slug monster so he fears salt. I foresee a salt shaker accident with Van Hellsing and Justin.

The setting is Blandsville, USA. Which obviously has a beach, forest, mountains, lakes, desert, sprawling metropolis, and 50 foot tall Gundam statue in the middle of town square.

The name of the book? I didn't think this far ahead... Globs of Thunder. Just because.

WHOAH! Hold there for a moment.
I understand/accept everything in your story/abomination from hell
BUT
Gundam statue?
I don't think Gundam series deserves to be related to this horror in any way

 

[Camaranth]

Is it bad that I find it amusing that this thread was started by someone who's handle involves a werewolf?

Anyways...

Gimmick: shape shifting/ this is why they look human Demons and Angels

Hollow female lead: Viki, good at art bad at math,

Male Hottie(s): The black-haired demon Brad and rival blond hunk angel Ryan

Viki is wandering home worried about math and happens upon a triumphant Ryan threatening a beaten Brad, who were fighting in the mortal realm for some reason, and in her one glimpse of personality rushes to defend our defeated demon. Overcome by her bravery Ryan agrees to let Brad live for a time and becomes obsessed with this stunningly courageous mortal. overwhelmed by her kindness Brad instantly falls for Viki and promises to protect and serve her in return for his saving life. Drama ensues as Brad defeats the threats he draws to Viki and Ryan tries to free her from Brad. Will she pick the demon who's heart she changed? Or will the angel whisk her off her feet? (Oh sex with either is bad because demon/angel semen is unstoppable and demi-gods or part-demons are very very bad for the earth but of course Viki doesn't care)

Ethnic Third (fourth in this case) wheel: Latino childhood friend Rico who also happens to be the son of the local priest.

Interesting Background Characters: Said local priest who is also an exorcist, other angels, demons, old gods (Hel, Hades, Apollo, Aphrodite etc) and a few wise ass talking hell hounds to shake things up

Setting: Modern day Anycity USA. Cause we need all that urban gang violence to blame the fights on, and dark gritty alleyways for nefarious things to happen in right under our noses!

BFF: Rico who also speaks perfect english but with random Spanish/ Portuguese words for no reason. Also has loved Viki since kindergarten.

Book and Saga titles: This will be Rising Hell (focus on Viki and Brad and told from Brad's PoV) Book one of the Heartbreak Hell series. To be followed by Falling Heaven (a focus on Viki and Ryan, from Ryan's PoV), Unshakeable Earth (Rico's POV but entirely about Viki) and finally Heaven or Hell (viki's POV)