Haxomancy. It allows me to alter the very fabric of reality by altering certain key threads of the space-time continuum every so slightly. Using this power I can render myself invulnerable, pass through solid objects, and imbue any object I chose with the destructive power of the Tsar Bomb. However, existence is a fragile thing, and occasionally I'll pull a thread of time too far, causing reality to unravel. Then I have to spend a few hundred million years having to put the whole bloody thing back together again. I never manage to get them exactly right, so there tend to be slight changes. Why, this one time, I created a reality where the Matrix sequels were boring and there were two World Wars. Could you imagine?