When a stupid question comes a knockin'...

[stormcaller]

Recently at my new school I have been bombarded by idiots who think they can confuse me by asking a stupid question like "How much wood, would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood" or the tree falls in the forest one.

How do you respond to these people, do you reverse it on them, answer with a witty retort or just ask them to bugger off?


My personal favourite technique is to tell them a long-winded important sounding explanation that doesn't really mean anything (I call it politicaning) which generally leaves them with blank faces and a elitist smirk on mine.

Better yet have you heard anymore examples of these? and how do you repsond to them.

(Just to clarify not going for advice here just looking for a lol or two )

 

[D_987]

Reply by asking "Why the hell would you need to know that?".

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

To the woodchuck one? "Seven. Twelve on a good day."
To all else, I just say anything relevent that sounds like I know it for a fact.

 

[Grimm91]

I like to answer their question with on that is far more confusing.

 

[GCM]

Woodchucks? I start on about growth rate e taken when the limit n of x approaches infinity, then integrate that limit using Riemann sums!

That doesn't make any sense mathematically, of course, but to a non mathematician it sounds like something. =D

 

[curlycrouton]

"[Insert Stupid Question Here.]"

"You idiots should be made to wear some kind of jacket to single you out. With writing on the back. The typeface should physically light up, like a Vegas casino hoarding. Actually, the whole jacket should light up. And it shouldn't be a jacket. It should a fluorescent green leotard with a transparent panel located over the testicles, so you can see them squashed up against the window like depressed balding commuters and, above it, a small flashing sign with the words "HA HA LOOK AT MY HILARIOUS BALLS" accompanied by an arrow pointing at them, picked out in multicoloured LEDs visible from half a mile away. Blind pedestrians who wouldn't otherwise get to enjoy the spectacle should be catered for too, thanks to a looped iPod soundtrack consisting of assorted celebrities describing precisely how ridiculous the miscreant's balls look, backed with comedy tuba music blasting from a heavy iron tannoy mounted on the offender's head."

(The question is, who said it?)

 

[Al X and Ur]

i sigh and tell them they make me wanna punch a baby or take a bath with my pet toaster.

 

[stormcaller]

Woodchucks? I start on about growth rate e taken when the limit n of x approaches infinity, then integrate that limit using Riemann sums!

That doesn't make any sense mathematically, of course, but to a non mathematician it sounds like something. =D

Stealing that because I also have a problem of being challenged to fights by those same people and that would give enough time to run the hell away.

 

[The_Prophet]

"733, now go f*ck yourself"

 

[RavingPenguin]

My policy is "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."
EX:Girl: Where did you get McDonalds?
Guy: I took a rocket to the moon, but they were sold out, so I made it myself.

EDIT: Sorry if this offends anybody, but it was a girl who asked me the question.

 

[gremily]

Answer there stupid question with a stupid question.
Like, "Who chucked the wood chuck?"

 

[Danny Ocean]

Some particularly snide or sarcastic retort.

"Where did you get that?"
"At-fucking-lantis.."
"What are you eating."
"Your mum's balls."

And other such things.

 

[Lord Krunk]

I like to answer their question with on that is far more confusing.

That's me in a nutshell.

 

[bad rider]

Depends on the youngs modulus of composite materials formed from new stars. However give that a lemon is always equal to seven and that the universal law of squirrel is applied i can give a rough guess of 17 give or take 10.

 

[Shade Jackrabbit]

Bah, those are chicken feed compared to the IB assholes at school who get in arguments with me about everything being a "knowledge claim".

Coping strategy? Shove the argument onto the nearest unsuspecting passer-by, then go get a candy bar and watch what happens.

EDIT: Honestly, I tried arguing my way out once... and I almost fainted from the mere stupidity of such arguments.

 

[stormcaller]

Coping strategy? Shove the argument onto the nearest unsuspecting passer-by, then go get a candy bar and watch what happens.

Trying this one too.

 

[Erana]

If its a guy, I'd tell 'em that if he stares at copper long enough, it'll explode.

People seriously fall for that.