When did being a jerk become cool?
- Thread starter sizzle949
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Because being kind of a jerk is in a sense one of the highest forms of confidence and self suffiency. I don't find it to be a coincidence that some of the most successful people out there are complete assholes. The best way to compete with a person like that is to be a jerk back, I learned this lesson whie going to college and it has worked out for me quite nicely ever since.
Plus there are also different kinds of jerks, some people will flock to and yet there are others nobody will give the time of day too.
It is a rather interesting phenomenon.
Plus there are also different kinds of jerks, some people will flock to and yet there are others nobody will give the time of day too.
It is a rather interesting phenomenon.
First of all, this. I believe assholes really are a minority in general. The trouble is they're very loud, very obnoxious, and handling them in the real world and on the 'net are two different beasts.theultimateend said:The short answer is that most people don't think that being a jerk is cool.sizzle949 said:
What you've displayed in your post is a cognitive bias that is generally called "The Mean World Hypothesis" I believe it got a new name recently. Essentially you assume that the world has a negative problem but in reality it is very unlikely you'll experience it.
If most people were jerks you'd be always getting flipped off while driving, most people would be rude to you at any time of the day, you'd get snarky looks all the time, people would release doors just in time to hit you in the face. All sorts of bad things would happen.
However in reality a very very small percentage of the population is jerky. The rest are just normal folks trying to live out their days just as you try to live out yours.
Even the internet. You figure there are 7 billion people in the world. Lets just say that 300 million of them are on the internet. Even if you only meet mean folks on the internet that accounts for say a few thousand people out of that 300 million. Considering the specialized places folks visit that's not even close to an accurate sampling size. Once you meet a few million people and find all of them calling you "tiny dick tim" or something like that. I may change my tone.
Kanye West and Joe Wilson, perfect examples; they pull an asshole move, they get stared down REAL quick. Being surrounded by real people doesn't prevent asshole behavior, but it keeps it from spreading. Online, however, people have multiple escape routes to avoid having to actually deal with the problem, even if it resorts to logging out. Also, in truth they have little influence over any given asshat. You can't stare them down, you can't kick them out, and most moderators will only get involved if the situation hits critical mass or the jackass breaks a rule (and sadly most of them are clever enough to toe that line).
We're in the digital equivalent of the Wild West here - lawless for the most part, and while most people are good, upstandin' folk, all it takes are a couple of assholes staggerin' out of the Real World Saloon to start shit and make things unpleasant for everyone.
Secondly, the argument that 'jerks get women' is usually true, but more often than not it's an issue of self-confidence and, more importantly, expressing it. And I can speak on experience with this one.
I'm a nice guy, always have been. I just don't have it in me to be an aggressive jerk (the worst I can manage is to be cold and direct, and that's only to someone who's really irritated me...and only online). Back in high school and even some of college, I was a total wallflower to anyone but the few friends I had because my self-confidence was...well, let's be honest, I didn't have any. I would always be friendly, polite, considerate and helpful with people, especially women, and even after a time of hanging out with them and getting to know them, I was always shut down whenever I made a move.
Then I had to watch as the same women would match up with your typical college guy (read: macho 'partying' asshat who thought being a jerk was cool), which irked me. Then the women got hurt and I, being their friend, would do my best to console them. Then, a month later, the whole process would start again. To this day, I question their pattern recognition skills.
Ultimately, it came down to this; whenever I made a move, it took me FOREVER to build up the cojones to ask them out, and back in high school I would even backpedal after asking, to 'give them their space and not pressure them'. Success rate: 0%. It wasn't until later I realized that it all comes down to just closing your eyes and taking the plunge; meaning, if you find yourself attracted to someone, just chat 'em up. If you want to spend more time with them, ask to do so right then and there. The more time you spend thinking and preparing on your move, the more time you have to question yourself and build your target up in your head to be a goddess, which is never, EVER a good idea.
Oh, and don't be afraid to look at a woman (at least, a woman of at least 20 or so...high school girls are kinda iffy in this area...) sexually as well as romantically. Don't push the subject, of course, but don't restrain it either. It's a normal part of adult romantic relationships, and holding it back too hard not only affects your self-confidence but might even make the woman feel unwanted. I feel that as long as you respect their wishes and can keep your hormones in check, there shouldn't be a problem.
The above two paragraphs is where jerks have the advantage over us nice guys. They may ultimately disappoint, maybe even harm...but they get their foot in the door, and that can make all the difference.
Hmm, why do people say that jerks are cool and successful?
Hecklers at stand-up comedy clubs are basically jerks, not only do they usually get a new asshole ripped by the preforming comedian but the rest of the audience cheer at the righteous and just new-asshole-ripping of said jerk.
Here's a soundclip of George Carlin handling a heckler quite masterfully:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it9kpZHXhxI
And here's a clip of Bill Hicks, ripping another heckler a new one to the delight of the audience:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PdKpR9qNtg
I guess there's one thing that's popular about jerks though and that is witnessing them get utterly ridiculed. (few things beats that) : )
Hecklers at stand-up comedy clubs are basically jerks, not only do they usually get a new asshole ripped by the preforming comedian but the rest of the audience cheer at the righteous and just new-asshole-ripping of said jerk.
Here's a soundclip of George Carlin handling a heckler quite masterfully:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it9kpZHXhxI
And here's a clip of Bill Hicks, ripping another heckler a new one to the delight of the audience:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PdKpR9qNtg
I guess there's one thing that's popular about jerks though and that is witnessing them get utterly ridiculed. (few things beats that) : )
Don't know what your talking about, my sizzling comrade. At my school the jerks (jocks, preps, douchebags) are actually considered to be dicks, even by other "cool people", but they are too stupid and stuck up their own ass to notice. As for the internet.....well, that's just it. It's the internet.
I do not like jerks. They can become quite sucessful by learning how to bully the right people. But I refuse to be bullied by jerks, like I was in school, and I always stand up for myself.
A jerk is just a bullying coward. They can be defeated by reason.
I only date nice guys. I have plently of sense so I do not need any cool.
A jerk is just a bullying coward. They can be defeated by reason.
I only date nice guys. I have plently of sense so I do not need any cool.
It's human nature. Man will always want to put himself above everyone else, even if by crude and flawed means.
And there's the anonymity. Half the stuff on the internet wouldn't be said if everyone could talk to each other face to face.
And there's the anonymity. Half the stuff on the internet wouldn't be said if everyone could talk to each other face to face.
Jerks became cool when the average IQ of everyone around them was about 40 points lower than the jerk. I don't think they're cool, I think they're either disturbed or just a plain asshat.
First of all, this is the internet, where everyone has the advantage of anonymity. That explains 90% of the rudeness. Why attempt to be coridal when no one can stop you from being an ass?
Secondly, you can't tell how someone is writing to you, whether it be sarcastically, jokingly, matter-of-factly. My guess is anyone who reads this very post will assume I'm being a dick to you, but I'm not trying to be. It's just how people perceive things.
And lastly (fittingly enough), nice guys finish last. I do my part not to be a dick on the internet since there are so many people already doing it, but in the real world, I am an asshole from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Life isn't fair or nice, and I learned that the hard way, and learned it a lot.
Secondly, you can't tell how someone is writing to you, whether it be sarcastically, jokingly, matter-of-factly. My guess is anyone who reads this very post will assume I'm being a dick to you, but I'm not trying to be. It's just how people perceive things.
And lastly (fittingly enough), nice guys finish last. I do my part not to be a dick on the internet since there are so many people already doing it, but in the real world, I am an asshole from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Life isn't fair or nice, and I learned that the hard way, and learned it a lot.