When Uninteresting Women ATTACK! (the anti-relationship-problem thread?)
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I like girls with baggage. I don't know why. The intellectually vain side of me almost sees it as a puzzle waiting to be figured out.
Honestly? Girls without baggage intimidate the holy hell out of me. A girl with no baggage and her head on her shoulders? It's kinda scary for me. Not sure why.
I guess I 'get' girls with baggage. People without baggage seem to have reached this point of apotheosis in my eyes. Way out of my league.
Honestly? Girls without baggage intimidate the holy hell out of me. A girl with no baggage and her head on her shoulders? It's kinda scary for me. Not sure why.
I guess I 'get' girls with baggage. People without baggage seem to have reached this point of apotheosis in my eyes. Way out of my league.
I'm 28 years old.
I've only had one relationship last 2 years. I left the week of the second anniversary. Most of the others have lasted a few months to a few weeks.
My first time in the sack was with a girl I never saw again. I've lost count of how many "partners" I've had since then. It is triple digits.
Standards? I'm pretty lax. After a while, you begin to feel people are all more or less the same... on the inside.
Something really interesting happened to me this year though... and to many it would seem inconsequential, but to me it's profound... and it's this.
I'm creeping up on 30, and- I don't really care if I "find someone," anymore. Thought it was something I always wanted, but I can't ignore my short-term track record, my experiences.
We'll see where it takes me.
I've only had one relationship last 2 years. I left the week of the second anniversary. Most of the others have lasted a few months to a few weeks.
My first time in the sack was with a girl I never saw again. I've lost count of how many "partners" I've had since then. It is triple digits.
Standards? I'm pretty lax. After a while, you begin to feel people are all more or less the same... on the inside.
Something really interesting happened to me this year though... and to many it would seem inconsequential, but to me it's profound... and it's this.
I'm creeping up on 30, and- I don't really care if I "find someone," anymore. Thought it was something I always wanted, but I can't ignore my short-term track record, my experiences.
We'll see where it takes me.
I have to take issue with this. I've been with far fewer than "triple digits" (a fair few, but not THAT many) and the variation in physiology between females fascinates me. Mind you, there are a few categories into which their reactions can be sorted, which acts as a useful "read progression", so to speak, but "all more or less the same"? Well yes, when the rubber meets the road, yes, but the lead-up has plenty of variation in the level design. Sex is a well-designed game.xDarc said:
I suppose I should have elaborated. By "inside," I was referring to emotions; especially concerning relationships, love, all that jazz. I think I ordered it the way I did, because, you do learn quite a bit about someone by having sex with them a few times... and again, I'm not talking anatomical topography.SimuLord said:
Well, there are different flavors of Skittles but at the end of the day you're still eating Skittles. There are different flavors of crazy but at the end of the day you're still dating a woman.xDarc said:I suppose I should have elaborated. By "inside," I was referring to emotions; especially concerning relationships, love, all that jazz. I think I ordered it the way I did, because, you do learn quite a bit about someone by having sex with them a few times... and again, I'm not talking anatomical topography.SimuLord said:
lol, got a chuckle out of that. But yeah you get me exactly.SimuLord said:There are different flavors of crazy but at the end of the day you're still dating a woman.
That's what I was getting at. You know, if you talk to that girl you might be able to reach some common ground with her, an understanding. Everyone has their tics, but a mutual understanding is the first step towards making conscious decisions about how one wants to act...
Not to say they will always make the right decisions; but a little communication in an effort to understand goes a long way towards giving someone a proper chance.
Too bad, she sounds hot.
Ah Jesus, all of last year while I was in the Drama Club. Seriously, the majority of the girls in that thing seemed to have crushes on me, and just wouldn't let up. Now, saying that may sound cocky, but keep in mind that there were only about three hot chicks in there, one of whom had a boyfriend, and the rest were average to plain scary. Being paired up for dance scenes was annoying due to this, with girls flirting in extremely obvious ways, not quite understanding my attempts to blow them off, and becoming more aggressive as a result.
The worst was this one chick who constantly fucked up my hair every time she saw me, like some pre-schooler who hits someone else to show they like them. Seriously, she disliked how my hair was (and CONSTANTLY told me so), and would fuck with it to encourage me to change it to how she liked it, which I presume she saw as flirting in her weird mind. I even overheard her say that I was her boyfriend and didn't know it yet. Thankfully though, she finally gave up, and hopefully will stay that way when I go back to school...
The worst was this one chick who constantly fucked up my hair every time she saw me, like some pre-schooler who hits someone else to show they like them. Seriously, she disliked how my hair was (and CONSTANTLY told me so), and would fuck with it to encourage me to change it to how she liked it, which I presume she saw as flirting in her weird mind. I even overheard her say that I was her boyfriend and didn't know it yet. Thankfully though, she finally gave up, and hopefully will stay that way when I go back to school...
I once had a girl call me at stupid o clock every night when I had issues sleeping, fast forward 5 years and we are best of friends and share the same bed quite often, she's actually a brilliant friend now.
I also moved to England because I got a girl pregnant and she tried to get money out of me, to the point that I held a baby in my arms that I thought was mine, she had an abortion and that kid was her cousins, a few years later she wanted to "relight the fire" (no just no you silly cow).
Holding a kid you think is yours and later finding out its not will fuck up your mind for a few years, yet it made me stronger.
I also moved to England because I got a girl pregnant and she tried to get money out of me, to the point that I held a baby in my arms that I thought was mine, she had an abortion and that kid was her cousins, a few years later she wanted to "relight the fire" (no just no you silly cow).
Holding a kid you think is yours and later finding out its not will fuck up your mind for a few years, yet it made me stronger.
I had the opposite, a girl I knew when I was 8 was a stunner and I asked her to marry me, when I saw her at 20 (and fugly) and she mentioned that I asked her to marry me I asked for the plastic ring back.Frequen-Z said:
She also strikes me as the type of girl who would cry morning-after rape if I broke up with her.xDarc said:lol, got a chuckle out of that. But yeah you get me exactly.SimuLord said:There are different flavors of crazy but at the end of the day you're still dating a woman.
That's what I was getting at. You know, if you talk to that girl you might be able to reach some common ground with her, an understanding. Everyone has their tics, but a mutual understanding is the first step towards making conscious decisions about how one wants to act...
Not to say they will always make the right decisions; but a little communication in an effort to understand goes a long way towards giving someone a proper chance.
Too bad, she sounds hot.
Well there was this one girl who liked me for ages, but she was a big ol' pile of crazy and not very attractive to boot. Not ugly, but the combination with the personality was repulsive. At that stage (around 16/17) I'd never had a girlfriend so I was pretty desperate; I made out with her once, then realised that oh god no this isn't a good idea at all, and tried to cut it off while being as nice as possible. Which, um, isn't possible.
She also kept coming onto one of my best friends for years, even with repeated (and clear) messages that nothing would happen between them. Even now, when I see her at the pub sometimes she'll say she hates him or he's really annoying, but when he shows up she's all over him like a fly on some very seductive manure.
I always try and bail him out of course, I know that horribleness all too well...
She also kept coming onto one of my best friends for years, even with repeated (and clear) messages that nothing would happen between them. Even now, when I see her at the pub sometimes she'll say she hates him or he's really annoying, but when he shows up she's all over him like a fly on some very seductive manure.
I always try and bail him out of course, I know that horribleness all too well...
In middle school when i had my first kiss at like 12 with a random girl on my bus i thought "all right now i got confidence and this wasnt that big" I never went out with her we just hooked up for like 2 weeks. Then a girl i liked for a really long time asked me out and i said yes. When i told the girl we couldn't do things together anymore she cried but i calmed her down and i thought everything was good. Turns out she was crazy and even attempted suicide because she was "in love with me" she had to get counciling and her mom threatened to kill me as well. It ended up making the rest of middle school hell for me cause i felt so bad. I was still friends with her until HS when she began telling me that she'd do sexual favors for me if i dated her. While i had a girlfriend.
8th grade end of year dance thing. My friend wants me to dance with his GF's friend (his girlfriend later had her handcuffs confiscated by a chemistry teacher). I said fuck no, not only am i presently standing directly next to a fog machine talking to some hot cheerleaders (the friend in question was not, hot or a cheerleader), but that ***** is crazy. Then, Last day of grade 8, the aforementioned friend comes up to me and asks me on a date. I said no, and she said she would follow me around the world, too which I responded, "what is your name?"
Also, this one time i spent a whole week ninja-ing around campus so that this girl wouldn't be able to find me to ask me to winter-ball. She was equally crazy, And I am damn good at avoiding people in crowded places
Also, this one time i spent a whole week ninja-ing around campus so that this girl wouldn't be able to find me to ask me to winter-ball. She was equally crazy, And I am damn good at avoiding people in crowded places
This has actually happened several times to me, as hard as that might seem to be considering my almost total lack of interest in this stuff and my constant references to that fact. I've had... i'd say 3 of them that were all very similar. All of them started out as decent people who seemed surprisingly interested in me despite my "closed" personality. At first they seemed like decent people that others just did not seem to understand very well, or had gotten some kind of bad impression of in some way. Well... after a while I started seeing that they had a very seriously depressed nature about them, or something similar to what afflicted me during my mid-teen years. Normally I try to help these sorts of people out and try to help them sort stuff out, but when I started getting calls or messages that these people were harming themselves (suicidal gestures) because I "was not there enough", I started wanting to back away.
Its at this point that the three diverge a bit. The first turned out to be lying and was highly manipulative. I only managed to get rid of them after a prolonged and convoluted effort that ended up pissing off alot of people who saw these events. The second did seem genuinely depressed, but thanks to what happened with the first person, I did not take their "gestures" very seriously. I don't know what happened to this one, but I do know that they were alive at least 6 months after I ended up walking away. The last one ended up making a public spectacle that led to a very hostile reaction towards them from a large number of people. I took that opportunity of that person making a fool of themselves to carefully walk away.
I have not had this stuff happen in a while, largely now thanks to my lack of a real world social life and my own "ambiguous nature" on the internet, which has a nice way of chasing away would be e-crazies to go after me.
Ahh... memories.
Its at this point that the three diverge a bit. The first turned out to be lying and was highly manipulative. I only managed to get rid of them after a prolonged and convoluted effort that ended up pissing off alot of people who saw these events. The second did seem genuinely depressed, but thanks to what happened with the first person, I did not take their "gestures" very seriously. I don't know what happened to this one, but I do know that they were alive at least 6 months after I ended up walking away. The last one ended up making a public spectacle that led to a very hostile reaction towards them from a large number of people. I took that opportunity of that person making a fool of themselves to carefully walk away.
I have not had this stuff happen in a while, largely now thanks to my lack of a real world social life and my own "ambiguous nature" on the internet, which has a nice way of chasing away would be e-crazies to go after me.
Ahh... memories.
Well it was 5 years ago, pretty exactly i guess, it was end of summer too.
I went to a party with some friends, i wasnt really invited, but at least i had seen the host before, we went to school together, but i doubt we ever spoke a word with each other.
But my friends new him and so why should i stay home alone or whatever.
So i was at this party, lame poprock or even worse penetrating my used-to-qualitymusic-ears and a few (or a few more) beers later i decided to change at least the music, if i cant to nothing about the people there (except my friends everyone seemed to be totaly boring normalpersons without anything interesting to say, be or represent).
Like at the most parties nowadays music was played from a computer and luckily our host had at least some acceptable titles on his harddrive.
So music went better, one guy came over and asked why i stopped the cool stuff, i ignored him and he left.
Then a real good looking blonde came over to me(and that has to mean something, usually i dont like blondes at all), happily relieved that finally something good was playing and we talked a little bit about music,ourselves etc etc till another guy i went to school with (he was some kind of close friend of the party's host) tried to drag her away, saying something like he has to excuse her for a while he has to talk to his girlfriend i guess the latter word was mentioned about 5 times in that sentance to make things sure.
Well party was kinda ok. lotsa beer, at least my friends were there, later we left.
2 days later the girl contacted me over ICQ she excused her because it took so long but she had to find out who i was first.
We chatted, chatted , chatted till about 3 a.m. i mentioned i couldnt sleep so i would log off and take a walk through the summernight.
She replied that it would be a great idea and luckily she lived only about 15 minutes from my place so we could do our nightwalk together.
Well i said yes, walked to her place, we walked through the night, ended up at my place about 1,5 hours later.
Some music, some talking, the rest well, you can imagine.
We had a nice week of reenacting 30% of the internets content then it started to get annoying.
The girl had no opinion of herself at all.
"what shall we do today?" "what do you want to do?"
"what are we going to cook today?" "what do you want to eat?"
"which cd should i play next?" "just whatever you want"
DAMN well like i said for a week it was like holiday on XXX-island, but then i just couldnt take that yes-man attitude anymore and dumped her.
Big scene, a dude i knew came over to hand over a letter written by her, all with those beautiful stabbed-heart illustrations and parfumed in a Patchouli scent that i guess was ment to be dramatic, but which i actually liked a lot.
Well long story short, that dude which "comforted her" is now a good friend of mine, she is now in a relationship with another pal of me for 3 years ( seems he enjoys his pasha-life and his personal slave longer than i ever could).
We meed occasionaly at parties and get along well.
I just cant stand "weak" personalities like that, when it comes to women. Im looking for a friend, a partner, a wingman, a worthy contrahent, not a slave. At least not for long.
I went to a party with some friends, i wasnt really invited, but at least i had seen the host before, we went to school together, but i doubt we ever spoke a word with each other.
But my friends new him and so why should i stay home alone or whatever.
So i was at this party, lame poprock or even worse penetrating my used-to-qualitymusic-ears and a few (or a few more) beers later i decided to change at least the music, if i cant to nothing about the people there (except my friends everyone seemed to be totaly boring normalpersons without anything interesting to say, be or represent).
Like at the most parties nowadays music was played from a computer and luckily our host had at least some acceptable titles on his harddrive.
So music went better, one guy came over and asked why i stopped the cool stuff, i ignored him and he left.
Then a real good looking blonde came over to me(and that has to mean something, usually i dont like blondes at all), happily relieved that finally something good was playing and we talked a little bit about music,ourselves etc etc till another guy i went to school with (he was some kind of close friend of the party's host) tried to drag her away, saying something like he has to excuse her for a while he has to talk to his girlfriend i guess the latter word was mentioned about 5 times in that sentance to make things sure.
Well party was kinda ok. lotsa beer, at least my friends were there, later we left.
2 days later the girl contacted me over ICQ she excused her because it took so long but she had to find out who i was first.
We chatted, chatted , chatted till about 3 a.m. i mentioned i couldnt sleep so i would log off and take a walk through the summernight.
She replied that it would be a great idea and luckily she lived only about 15 minutes from my place so we could do our nightwalk together.
Well i said yes, walked to her place, we walked through the night, ended up at my place about 1,5 hours later.
Some music, some talking, the rest well, you can imagine.
We had a nice week of reenacting 30% of the internets content
then it started to get annoying. The girl had no opinion of herself at all.
"what shall we do today?" "what do you want to do?"
"what are we going to cook today?" "what do you want to eat?"
"which cd should i play next?" "just whatever you want"
DAMN well like i said for a week it was like holiday on XXX-island, but then i just couldnt take that yes-man attitude anymore and dumped her.
Big scene, a dude i knew came over to hand over a letter written by her, all with those beautiful stabbed-heart illustrations and parfumed in a Patchouli scent that i guess was ment to be dramatic, but which i actually liked a lot.
Well long story short, that dude which "comforted her" is now a good friend of mine, she is now in a relationship with another pal of me for 3 years ( seems he enjoys his pasha-life and his personal slave longer than i ever could).
We meed occasionaly at parties and get along well.
I just cant stand "weak" personalities like that, when it comes to women. Im looking for a friend, a partner, a wingman, a worthy contrahent, not a slave. At least not for long.