Where do babies come from?

[master m99]

"Seto where do babies come from?"

"The same place as everything else. You buy them in a store."

nice one =)

 

[Sensenmann]

Couldn't I just get away from the question by telling him he's adopted?

Or do what my parents would have done (which is tell me when I'm "grown up").

 

[AkJay]

I'd tell Timmy. In graphic detail. I'd draw pictures and everything.

Show him a picture of hell, and say "THIS IS WHERE YOU WERE SPAWNED! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?!"

 

[revjay]

If I had to deal with a kid I'd do it by the book. Clinical terms and full disclosure. They don't need a semi-retarded adult telling them stories about cabbage patches and calling a penis your woo-woo.

 

[Littlee300]

Loading up the porno and pause it at important parts and point with a ruler at where he should be looking.

 

[BlackIronGuardian]

And I quote:

''Well Timmy, we must put away insane mothers who kill their babies, mainly because these babies can't fight back. In fact, it was on the news this morning: a mother in Arkansas has just murdered her three kids. They're taking the babies back to New York to be laid to rest, and by God my prayers are with the father. I am truly sorry for his loss.''

P.S. Please don't hate me.

 

[Little Duck]

I'd be myself. I'd go son. When your friends know. You will know. And I will buy you a magazine. Till then, enjoy yourself.

 

[ultimateownage]

I would say something to fuck his head up for his life, so when he comes to have sex when he's older it will embarrass the shit out of him. I might say you need to grab the woman while they aren't looking, strangle them until they are unconscious, then eat them and then a few days later they will shit a baby, they then need to fuck it to keep it alive. That or say you need to stab the woman until she is dead, then hide her in your cupboard for 9 months and she will turn into a baby. I really hate Timmy.

*EDIT* Or use encyclopaedia dramatica's offend page has sex ed'.

 

[Soxafloppin]

The Stork, Seriously.

No kid wants to hear anything about there mum having sex or being inside there vagina.

 

[master m99]

I would say something to fuck his head up for his life, so when he comes to have sex when he's older it will embarrass the shit out of him. I might say you need to grab the woman while they aren't looking, strangle them until they are unconscious, then eat them and then a few days later they will shit a baby, they then need to fuck it to keep it alive. That or say you need to stab the woman until she is dead, then hide her in your cupboard for 9 months and she will turn into a baby. I really hate Timmy.

*backs away slowly towards the door* *checks if hes a save distence* ill prob just point him in the direction of the nerest "hore house" and say "watch and learn buy watch and learn"

 

[Thediscoducky]

"Can't really answer that Timmy. I've been waiting for someone to tell me."

 

[ThreeKneeNick]

"Where do you think YOU came from?"

That ought to confuse him.

 

[TheBoulder]

Timmy:"Daddy, where do babies come from?"
Me:"Well, to begin, let us go to the store for some cement mix and a container."
Timmy:"What for?"
Me:"We'll need to make cement shoes. It's part of the learning process. Afterward we'll go for a boat ride in the ocean."

 

[Rafe]

I'd say "pffft, no one knows."

Crisis averted!

 

[Sjakie]

Timmy:"Daddy, where do babies come from?"
Me:"They come from bitches that dont take the pill or can pay for abortions Timmy."
Timmy:"Oh...Daddy, what's an abortion?"
Me:"...."

Man, i would be a good dad!

 

[AWDMANOUT]

You see those toys that say MADE IN CHINA on em?

Ever see the back of your head?

 

[UberLemonBoy]

u stick ur wing wang into her who hah and 9 months later a baby

 

[Ranooth]

Tie him to a chair and gag him and grab some random women off the street and show him in graphic detail where each thing goes and probably every position.

 

[SodaDew]

"Ok, babes come from a broken condom"

 

[crepesack]

I would say, "Son, a baby happens when a daddy and mommy love each other very much and they love each other so much an accident happens, and that accident, son, was you!"